Igfig:

LAST TIME ON EBERRON

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

fortuna are we going to finish for real today?

Fortuna:

It's... weird.

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

...........

Igfig:

seriously fortuna are we going to finish?

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

HOLY SHIT

frosty:

fortuna are you alive?

Fortuna:

It's complicated.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

We could interpret that as a it's weird that we are going to be finishing it finally.

Igfig:

yes , yes we could

Igfig:

all right

Igfig:

LAST TIME

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

i just tossed my coffee cup at the garbage can, it smacked off the side, knocked out the cup sleeve and then both bounced off the rim and went in

frosty:

4 points?

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

yeah

server:

Orrin quit.

Igfig:

oops, I'l wait for Orrin to get back before the recap

Igfig:

huh, Erik is actually ofline

Igfig:

whatever, I'll recap right now anyway then

Igfig:

LAST TIME

Igfig:

The Lord of Blades' forces began their assault on Throneport

frosty:

he said he shows offline on skype to ward off people

Igfig:

ah

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

ya

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

message him anyways

Igfig:

they pushed back the defenders at the barricade

Igfig:

despite a punshing Acid Cloudkill

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

that really fucked them up

Igfig:

you led the defenders back through the streets to make a stand at Thronehold, the keep

Igfig:

but the other prong of the Blades' assault arrived from the northwest

server:

Orrin joined #pwot_dnd.

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

THE MOST HEROIC GROUP OF LOWLY SOLDIERS EVDR

Orrin:

Well that was odd.

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

HELD BACK THE ASSAULT

Igfig:

aye

frosty:

your odd

Orrin:

Not inaccurate.

Igfig:

between their sacrifice, Varus' illusionary dragon, and Orrin and Frosty's massive intimidation

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS WITH THAT

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

ben has had unreal luck

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

with 20's

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

this WHOLE campaign

frosty:

wooooo

Arryn:

it is great

Igfig:

you were able to delay the warforged enough for the rest of your forces to escape into the keep and for Blaze to seal the gate behind them with a very thick Wall of Stone

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

blaze tends to be thick ;)

frosty:

is that an insult with a wink

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

oh

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

i meant thick as in big dick

Igfig:

literally has a rhino dick

Igfig:

As we finished, Orrin had issued a challenge

Arryn:

walrus

Igfig:

Karrnathi forces had arrived in the bay, led by the unexpectedly-alive Kaius III, King of Karrnath

Igfig:

the Lord of Blades was advancing toward you, though still a long ways off

Orrin:

Did he hear my rad solo, though?

Igfig:

he did

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

igfig you forgot someone

Igfig:

and Orrin's challenge had answered by none other than the Colonel of Cutlery himself, the juggernaut named Falchion

Igfig:

gentlemen

Igfig:

it is time

Igfig:

Eberron, episode omega

Igfig:

begin

Igfig:

http://labs.echonest.com/Uploader/index.html?trid=TRVRRCQ13B0F4395F0&d=48,56,59,63,236,240,243,244,247,251,263,311,315,462,470,474,478,518&lg=1&sq=0&thresh=43

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

ok

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

so are the lords forces advancing

Igfig:

they are

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

or has he challenged a solo duel to the death

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

aw siht

Igfig:

bith

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

do we still need the map

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

oh

VARUS_AESTHETIC:

so will their forces leave us alone'

Igfig:

what's happening is

Igfig:

the attackers at the north gate are pushing forward through the last of the soldiers (the LoB ran on ahead)

server:

VARUS_AESTHETIC quit.

Igfig:

and the forces that had been following you from the east

Igfig:

have been halted by Orrin and Frosty

Igfig:

The Colonel was with the eastern forces

Igfig:

so, Orrin

Orrin:

Aye.

Igfig:

The Colonel is advancing toward you, spinning his warmaces

server:

obi_wan joined #pwot_dnd.

obi_wan:

ok

obi_wan:

whatd i miss

Igfig:

and smashing them alternately on the cobbles as he advances

Igfig:

setting up a counterpoint to your music

Varus:

what

Varus:

gyazo that other stuff

Igfig:

http://gyazo.com/c2be91ea2568e4fbe59cd85a20c7d405

Orrin:

Orrin's solo reaches a fever pitch.

Igfig:

Orrin, can I get a Perform check

Varus:

HMMM

Varus:

I see

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [19] = 27

Igfig:

1d20+5 perform

Fortuna:

Igfig, perform: [17] = 22

Varus:

not entirely sure what we should do here

Varus:

shit boy

Igfig:

you are both at the peak of your music game right now

Orrin:

FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN, RUN BOYS RUN

Orrin:

How much damage would you say a lute does?

Varus:

i think i can contribute

Igfig:

but you're playing too fast for him to keep time

Igfig:

well, is this a normal lute, or a reinforced lute that you can hit people with?

Varus:

he means from sheer sound waves

Varus:

force of rock

Igfig:

this isn't Shetland Firestorm, you can't actually physically win a fight with music

Varus:

>:0

Varus:

well i absolutely see orrin as the kind of person whod have a reinforced lute for hitting people

Igfig:

but it will give the weaker party a Bane effect for the round

Igfig:

so the Colonel is at -1d4 to attacks and saves this round

Varus:

niiice

Varus:

ok

Igfig:

roll init?

Orrin:

He probably would, but I have never specified so probably just a regular lute.

Orrin:

1d20

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20: [8] = 8

Varus:

hold on

Igfig:

1d20+1

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+1: [5] = 6

Varus:

i think we should head east

Igfig:

wow

Varus:

let the lord attack the castle

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, 1d20: [3] = 3

Varus:

lets pull the colonol to the side

Varus:

defeat him

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Low rolls all around.

Orrin:

I think we should fight the huge robot who's attacking me that I just challenged to personal combat.

Varus:

then turn around and flank the lord with the undead army at our back

Varus:

yeah

Orrin:

If you can shove him that way, by all means.

Varus:

i absolutely can!

Varus:

WITH

Varus:

THUNDERWAVE

Varus:

1d20+1

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20+1: [4] = 5

Igfig:

yeah, you have time for a quick duel with the Colonel

Varus:

man

Igfig:

oh wait what

Varus:

these inits

Orrin:

BEN

Igfig:

I thought this was supposed to be, like, a duel

Varus:

oh

Varus:

sure then

Orrin:

I did, too.

Orrin:

I reckon I can take him.

Varus:

we just rolled init cause you said to

Igfig:

this guy isn't strong enough to take you all on, he's going to just die

Varus:

ok ok

Igfig:

I meant Orrin and the Colonel

Varus:

so lets say we're back a bit

Orrin:

Go get the LoB.

Varus:

watching

Varus:

cheering

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I just rolled initiative cause I don't know why, yar.

Varus:

yeah

Orrin:

I got this guy.

Varus:

exactly

Igfig:

sorry, I shoulda specified

Varus:

no no we are gunna stay and watch

Varus:

itll go quicker if its 1v1

Varus:

lets see this shit go down

Igfig:

hmm, is Arryn around by any chance? She could totally make the Dynamic Blade into a warlute

Varus:

where is arryn??

Orrin:

I knew I shoulda kept it.

frosty:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+5: [2] = 7

Orrin:

I mean if the lute is destroyed, it's almost better.

Arryn:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Arryn, 1d20+4: [9] = 13

Orrin:

But it has to do SOME damage.

Varus:

why are you rolling ben

Orrin:

You're not rolling Ben. This is my fight.

Arryn:

init?

Arryn:

oh

Varus:

its a duel

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yar, we missed that too.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

When we rolled init.

Varus:

arryn make the dynamic blade into a warlute and toss it to orrin

Igfig:

unless you want to throw Orrin your blade

Arryn:

never again

Orrin:

Pff, you dropped it the first time.

Igfig:

But yeah Orrin, I think a two-handed blow with a lute would deal... 1d6? It's an improvised weapon

Orrin:

Hmm.

Varus:

then itd break

Orrin:

Maybe worth it, seeing as my hammer only does 2d6 anyway.

Varus:

orrin

Varus:

how high do you think you can throw

Varus:

my idea

Orrin:

If we pull this off, I think I can convince Jaela to give me another one.

Igfig:

true

Varus:

throw the lute into the air at the start of the battle

Igfig:

hehe

Varus:

hammer him to death in 2 rounds

Varus:

catch it again

Igfig:

so Orrin, what are you doing?

Varus:

you're on a roof right

Varus:

you could throw it high enough from there for 3 rounds

Orrin:

I'm on the ground.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Pretty sure most of us are on the street, yar.

Orrin:

I stepped into the breach to challenge him.

Varus:

i thought you and ben were roofied

Orrin:

It's okay.

Varus:

alright then

Varus:

varus is on the roof

Orrin:

It's metal as fuck if I break it on his face.

Varus:

but imagine the pose

Varus:

throwing

Orrin:

If I hit him once with the lute can I draw the hammer for my second attack?

Varus:

killing

Varus:

catching

Igfig:

yeah, sure

Orrin:

Works for me.

Orrin:

As the Colonel approaches, Orrin plays a resounding chord.

Orrin:

Flipping his lute to grasp it by the head, he spins in a mighty swing.

Igfig:

he's charging, but you get in the first hit nevertheless

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [2] = 10

Igfig:

oh, well

Orrin:

Yikes.

Orrin:

I guess since it didn't hit I can swing with the lute again?

Igfig:

aye

server:

frosty charges with Orrin so's to not be away from him

Orrin:

Pretending nobody saw that, Orrin swings again.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [5] = 13

Orrin:

Jesus.

Igfig:

:(

Varus:

man

Varus:

we got 20s on the start

Varus:

now we're just

Varus:

below 10 EVERY roll

Orrin:

Orrin drops the lute.

Orrin:

It's not a very good weapon.

Igfig:

you swing twice, but he ducks right under your blows and sweeps his two maces together from opposite sides, with you in the middle

Igfig:

2#1d20+5

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5: [16] = 21; 1d20+5: [4] = 9

Orrin:

I believe the first one hits.

Igfig:

1d10+3+2d6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d10+3+2d6: [10, 4, 3] = 20

Orrin:

How much is my magic shield?

Igfig:

+2

Orrin:

Yeah that hits.

Igfig:

oh wait wait

Igfig:

I forgot

Igfig:

he's baned

Orrin:

Ha! Jerk.

Igfig:

21-1d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 21-1d4: [3] = 18

Igfig:

he mises

Orrin:

Well he definitely doesn't hit then.

Orrin:

Orrin also ducks.

Orrin:

"Well, that was special."

Igfig:

a furious exchange of blows, and then the two of you leap apart

Igfig:

both unfazed

frosty:

hehe

Igfig:

his two maces clapped together as you dodged back, and he keeps it up between strikes on the cobble, a smash smash clash kinda noise

Igfig:

more perform checks

Varus:

GUYS I KNOW HOW WE CAN HELP

Igfig:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5: [12] = 17

Varus:

two hits on the ground then a clap

Varus:

repeat that over and over

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [20] = 28

Igfig:

your lute is still ok, so you can keep Performing

frosty:

1d20+5 stomp stomp clap

Fortuna:

frosty, stomp stomp clap: [6] = 11

Igfig:

oh, well

Orrin:

I obliterate him with the power of my rock.

Igfig:

haha, oh man

Igfig:

he actually drops a mace

Igfig:

and is baned again

Orrin:

Orrin is so fucking good at the lute.

Igfig:

your turn, though

Varus:

PICK IT UP

Orrin:

He charges right back in, swinging the lute like a madman.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [16] = 24

Orrin:

There's more like it.

Igfig:

he charges right back at you, swinging the mace two-handed

Igfig:

1d20+6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+6: [12] = 18

Igfig:

you hit, he doesn't

Igfig:

18-1d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 18-1d4: [2] = 16

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

So I deal 1d6.

Orrin:

1d6

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d6: [5] = 5

Orrin:

And I assume my lute is smashed.

Orrin:

But I am also goign to Thunderous Smite him.

Orrin:

He must make a Con save.

Igfig:

plus str, plus whatever else you like

Igfig:

oka

Orrin:

He's Baned on Saves, right?

Igfig:

1d20+5-1d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5-1d4: [11, 1] = 15

Orrin:

So 9 for starters.

Igfig:

15 on the con save

Orrin:

I believe that passes.

Orrin:

I don't remember how to calculate my DC, though, it may have increased when we leveled.

Igfig:

8+prof+cha, I think

Igfig:

and yeah, it would have gone up 1

Orrin:

Oh it should be 16 then.

Igfig:

your prof went from 3 to 4

Orrin:

Boss.

Igfig:

ah, so he fails

Igfig:

how much then

Orrin:

So there is a thunderous wave of pure METAL.

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

2d8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 2d8: [1, 8] = 9

Varus:

STOMP STOMP CLAP

Varus:

STOMP STOMP CLAP

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Igfig:

slow motion lute slam into his jaw

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

And he is shoved 10 feet away from me.

server:

Blaze_Half-Elf stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

Also, all unsecured objects within a 15-foot cube are pushed 10 feet away from me, and the boom is heard from 300 feet away.

Igfig:

splinters and strings flying everywhere

Varus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGaOlfmX8rQ

Igfig:

he would get to counterstrike with his armblades, except you pushed him back out of range there

Orrin:

And I still get my second attack.

Igfig:

oh

Igfig:

right

Orrin:

Orrin follows as the Colonel is blasted backward, drawing his hammer and swinging in one furious motion.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [7] = 15

Orrin:

Man I cannot roll for shit today.

Igfig:

that's a miss though

Igfig:

1d20+5-1d4 blades

Fortuna:

Igfig, blades: [20, 3] = 22

Igfig:

crit!

Orrin:

Just rude is what it is.

Igfig:

grabs your hammer as it slams into the ground next to him, and swipes you across the face with his armblade

Igfig:

2d6+3 damage

Fortuna:

Igfig, damage: [6, 5] = 14

Orrin:

I can live with it.

Igfig:

I guess neither of you can perform this round, though

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Orrin could sing, yar, though he did get cut in the face.

Igfig:

he's grappling you by your hammer

Orrin:

Wouldn't stop a true performer.

Orrin:

Am I gonna have to roll to get it away from him?

Orrin:

This is how I almost killed Arryn.

Igfig:

how appropriate

Igfig:

yeah, unless you want to let go and grab something else I guess

Arryn:

:P

Igfig:

or punch him

Blaze_Half-Elf:

There are less impressive drops here though.

Igfig:

or whatever

Orrin:

I don't really have anything else, so I guess we just do opposed Str checks?

Igfig:

Athletics

Igfig:

1d20+5 athletics

Fortuna:

Igfig, athletics: [4] = 9

Orrin:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+4: [6] = 10

frosty:

heheh

Orrin:

God we are having just the saddest penultimate duel ever.

Igfig:

yeah

server:

Arryn booooooo

Orrin:

Orrin wrenches his hammer away and brings it right back down for the kill.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [18] = 26

Orrin:

HA.

Varus:

or

Igfig:

okay, escaping counted as one attack though

Orrin:

2d6+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 2d6+4: [3, 1] = 8

Orrin:

Fair enough.

server:

Blaze_Half-Elf stomp stomp clap

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

I gotta get more damage on him.

server:

Arryn stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

I'll throw a level one Divine Smite in with that one.

Orrin:

2d8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 2d8: [3, 2] = 5

Orrin:

As the hammer connects, searing light flares out.

Igfig:

He brings his arm up in time to take it there instead of on the head

Varus:

maybe both of you are skilled

Varus:

that you cant even scratch the other

Igfig:

then, holding the clash, swings his mace up from below...

Igfig:

1d20+6 mace

Fortuna:

Igfig, mace: [3] = 9

Arryn:

lollers

Orrin:

Orrin's magic shield deflects the blow.

Igfig:

but it's a feint, he's really striking with his armblade again

Igfig:

1d20+5 armbalde

Fortuna:

Igfig, armbalde: [15] = 20

Arryn:

finnaly

Orrin:

Orrin's magic shield deflects the blow.

Igfig:

really? What's your AC again?

Orrin:

18.

Igfig:

so a 20 hits

Orrin:

Well, the shield is a +2.

Igfig:

right

Orrin:

Does he have to meet it or beat it?

Igfig:

meet

Orrin:

Ah.

Orrin:

I've been doing that all wrong in my head.

Igfig:

1d6+3 damage

Fortuna:

Igfig, damage: [1] = 4

Igfig:

not much damage though

Orrin:

Still pushing forward despite the mild wounds to his face, Orrin brings the hammer to bear again.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [17] = 25

Igfig:

ooh

Orrin:

There is a comical sound of coins falling.

Orrin:

2d6+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 2d6+4: [4, 1] = 9

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

He quickly brings it home again.

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [6] = 14

server:

Blaze_Half-Elf stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

But misses the second time.

Igfig:

okay, from here on let's roll all our attacks for each turn all at once, to save time

Orrin:

Fair enough.

Varus:

have you considered this advice: git gud

Orrin:

Hey, I've put a fair amount of damage out.

Igfig:

Oh, right

frosty:

1d20+5 still be intimidating

Fortuna:

frosty, still be intimidating: [6] = 11

frosty:

eh

Orrin:

I've put 40 on him so far, he can not be feeling great.

Varus:

yar

Varus:

ive been playing super smash bros

Igfig:

This hit finally breaks through his defenses and *clonk*s him right on the head

Igfig:

he's sent sprawling

frosty:

ive been watching sportsgames

Igfig:

but grabs his fallen mace as he does, rolls back to his feat, and leaps back into the fray

Arryn:

me too

Igfig:

2#1d20+6; 1d20+5

Igfig:

uh, Fortuna?

Arryn:

rip Fortuna

Igfig:

Do you not like that synax

Orrin:

She did not like that.

Igfig:

2#1d20+6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+6: [4] = 10; 1d20+6: [8] = 14

Igfig:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5: [19] = 24

Orrin:

Well the blades hit.

Igfig:

again, the maces are completely useless, and only the blades do anything

Igfig:

1d6+3

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d6+3: [5] = 8

Orrin:

Orrin is getting really tired of getting his head slashed at.

Igfig:

I don't think this was your head necessarily, but yeah

Igfig:

I guess you're better at defending against people with actual weapons than grapplers/martial artists

Orrin:

Well still, being slashed.

Orrin:

He doesn't like it.

Igfig:

indeed

Orrin:

With a growl, he swings his own hammer twice in response.

Orrin:

2#1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [1] = 9; 1d20+8: [2] = 10

Orrin:

Good. God.

Igfig:

oh no

Igfig:

you lost your temper

Igfig:

and basically just threw your hammer

Igfig:

which was a bad choice

Orrin:

HIYAH

Igfig:

double mace spearing straight at your stomach

Igfig:

2#1d20+6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+6: [1] = 7; 1d20+6: [8] = 14

Orrin:

This guy is terrible.

Arryn:

terrible

Igfig:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5: [2] = 7

Varus:

ahaha

Igfig:

well

Igfig:

uh

Varus:

good weapons doesnt mean he knows how to use them

Arryn:

fucking awfule

Orrin:

We both just look at each other sheepishly.

Igfig:

it's okay that you lost your hammer

Igfig:

because you now have one of his maces

Varus:

mace fencing

Orrin:

Deftly catching the fallen mace, Orrin brings it right back toward its owner.

Orrin:

2#1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [10] = 18; 1d20+8: [1] = 9

Igfig:

"I see you know your Agrippa."

Orrin:

Hahahahaha.

Arryn:

hahahahahahhaha

Igfig:

wow

Orrin:

Well the first hit connects.

Igfig:

one solid hit, and then he has it right back again

Orrin:

How much damage do these maces do?

server:

frosty stomp stomp clap

Igfig:

"Unfortunately for you. So do I"

Igfig:

1d12 two-handed

Fortuna:

Igfig, two-handed: [10] = 10

Igfig:

1d10 one-handed

Fortuna:

Igfig, one-handed: [8] = 8

Igfig:

er

Igfig:

those weren't rolls fortuna, I was just demonstrating

Orrin:

Well, I imagine I swung it 2-handed.

Orrin:

1d12+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d12+4: [11] = 15

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

very nice

Orrin:

"Just giving you a hand. You look like you need it."

Igfig:

you've cracked the plating in his shoulder, and the fissure spreads across his chest

Igfig:

he doesn't look to have much more in him

Igfig:

but presses on regardless

Igfig:

2#1d20+6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+6: [14] = 20; 1d20+6: [19] = 25

Igfig:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+5: [17] = 22

Orrin:

There's some hits.

Igfig:

wow

Igfig:

without your hammer, you're hard-pressed to defend yourself

Igfig:

1d10+3+2d6; 1d10+3; 1d6+3

Igfig:

...do semicolons not work at all?

Igfig:

1d10+3+2d6,1d10+3,1d6+3

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d10+3+2d6,1d10+3,1d6+3: [5, 1, 6, 9, 5] = (15, 12, 8)

Orrin:

She hates them.

Igfig:

35 damage!

Orrin:

Well Orrin is very bloodied.

Igfig:

you fall to your knees beneath the Colonel's mace blows

Orrin:

Disengage is just your move action, right? Or do I have to give up my whole turn for it?

Varus:

move

Igfig:

it's your action

Igfig:

and then you use your move to move

Igfig:

so yeah, whole turn

Orrin:

Hmm.

Orrin:

So Divine Smite says I have to use a melee weapon attack, does that include just a punch?

Orrin:

Can I punch him so hard that holy light burns him to death is what I'm asking.

Igfig:

that is entirely allowed

Orrin:

Orrin punches directly at the center of the fissure in the Colonel's chest.

Orrin:

How does proficiency work with unarmed?

Igfig:

same as always

Orrin:

Well I have simple and martial weapons, I didn't know if Unarmed was a different thing.

Orrin:

Anyway, a mighty blow.

Igfig:

it's simple

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [5] = 13

Orrin:

Orrin punches a second mighty blow.

Varus:

SERIOUSLY MAN

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [9] = 17

Igfig:

that is not quite enough

Orrin:

Orrin is furious.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

maybe fate point?

Orrin:

He hates this fucking guy.

Orrin:

Maybe enough to use a fate point?

Varus:

but what

Igfig:

let me say something

Igfig:

"Submit. Dwarf. Fleshkind cannot stand against steel."

Orrin:

Orrin coughs a little on account of all the broken ribs.

Orrin:

"We haven't done too bad so far."

Igfig:

okay, go ahead

Orrin:

Okay.

Igfig:

(I figured this was a good opportunity to feed you a chance for a badass one-liner)

Orrin:

So This Just Got Personal.

frosty:

1d20+5 intimidate

Fortuna:

frosty, intimidate: [14] = 19

Orrin:

NICE ONE FROSTY.

Orrin:

2#1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [2] = 10; 1d20+8: [16] = 24

Orrin:

YEAH.

Igfig:

YEAH

Orrin:

How much damage does a punch do?

Igfig:

1

Igfig:

+ str

frosty:

WOOO

Orrin:

so 5.

Igfig:

yep

Varus:

welp

Varus:

maybe add some divine stuff into there

Orrin:

As orrin's fist strikes home, the emblems on his armor blaze with golden light.

Orrin:

As he casts Divine Smite at level 3.

Orrin:

4d8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 4d8: [8, 3, 6, 1] = 18

Igfig:

hahahahahaha

Varus:

dang

Varus:

u sure bro

Varus:

?

Orrin:

I am certain.

Varus:

a level three smite could be useful

Varus:

ok

Orrin:

I have another one.

Orrin:

It's all good.

Varus:

ok

Orrin:

I mean I could do two but I really need to kill this guy.

Igfig:

The Colonel's chest crumples

frosty:

hahah

Igfig:

cracks radiate outwards

Igfig:

and then he fucking explodes

Orrin:

Orrin stands, chest heaving, in the wreckage of the Colonel of Cutler.

server:

frosty STOMP STOMP CLAP

Orrin:

"Anyone else?"

server:

Blaze_Half-Elf stomp stomp clap

Orrin:

Then he stage whispers "Blaze healz plz."

Igfig:

wait a sec

Blaze_Half-Elf:

?

Igfig:

you're getting a free short rest in just a second

Orrin:

Oh neat.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh right, yar.

Igfig:

The other warforged look at each other a little uncertainly

Igfig:

Frosty, you probably weren't right behind Orrin while he was duelling the Colonel, were you?

server:

frosty is like super intimidating

frosty:

i was

Varus:

he was nearby

Igfig:

since they were movign around quite a bit

Varus:

like really near

Igfig:

okay

Varus:

varus hops down from a rooftop

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yeah he said he charged in too to stay nearby back at the beginning of the fight.

Varus:

"FUCKIN RIGHT"

Igfig:

oh, right

frosty:

[18:58] * frosty charges with Orrin so's to not be away from him

Blaze_Half-Elf:

This also served to provide dramatic emergent lighting from his position shifting to stay close by.

Igfig:

the silence after Orrin speaks

Igfig:

well, after Varus I guess

Igfig:

is broken by a voice

Igfig:

"I ACCEPT."

Igfig:

"YOUR CHALLENGE."

Varus:

aw shit

Igfig:

The Lord of Blades has arrived.

Igfig:

He's still a ways out

frosty:

"YOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Varus:

is his army sieging the castle?

Igfig:

about eighty feet

frosty:

"WASSUP"

Igfig:

actually, more like 120

Varus:

dangit

Varus:

now hes out of range

frosty:

"I FEEL ALIIIIIIVE"

Igfig:

the juggernauts and chargers are only just finishing up the northern-gate soldiers

Igfig:

so they're still a bit further

Varus:

how long did that duel last?

Igfig:

but as the Lord speaks

Varus:

like a minute?

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

well, time gets fiddled with a bit for dramatic purposes

Igfig:

as the Lord speaks

Igfig:

there is a great rumble from the south

frosty:

"YOU THOUGHT I LAY DOWN AND DIE, NO NOT I, I WILL SURVIVE"

Igfig:

a wind sweeping across the sky, turning the clouds from grey to black

Igfig:

followed by a keening like a million steel blades being sharpened at once

Igfig:

and then a shockwave, explosive, trailing a searing ring of red lighting

Igfig:

and louder than anything you've ever heard

Varus:

(not as loud as orrin's snoring oh snap)

Igfig:

the very ground beneath you shudders--or is it recoiling?

Igfig:

Str save DC 15 to avoid falling down

Varus:

aw fuck

Varus:

1d20-1

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20-1: [15] = 14

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh boy.

Varus:

AW

Orrin:

You should all be close enough to get my +4.

Orrin:

So you're good.

Varus:

oh yeah

Varus:

so im good then

Varus:

17

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, 1d20+4: [18] = 22

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [6] = 14

frosty:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+5: [16] = 21

Varus:

orrin is still unsteady

Igfig:

the sky is a deep crimson now

Arryn:

1d20+1

Fortuna:

Arryn, 1d20+1: [5] = 6

server:

Arryn wump

Igfig:

and on the wind come whispers

Varus:

where IS arryn anyways

Orrin:

Orrin wobbles a little bit and then falls to one knee.

frosty:

oh right the +4

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Probably on a rooftop, having been striking a pose but now on her butt.

frosty:

21+4

Fortuna:

frosty, 21+4: [] = 25

Igfig:

or not whispers, but very far-off screams of rage

frosty:

I AM SOLID

Orrin:

"Guys I think this might be related to the undead skeleton army."

Varus:

do we know about the undead skeleton army?

Igfig:

As the shockwave passes, your hearts are filled with rage and hunger for a moment, adrenaline surging through your veins at a trillion psi

Arryn:

i saw it

Blaze_Half-Elf:

The skeleton army is to the east though?

Arryn:

i probly said something

Igfig:

everybody gets a free short rest, and also recovers 5 spell levels

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh snap.

frosty:

RAGE

Varus:

igfig i can recover spells already

Varus:

in a short rest

frosty:

HUNGER

Varus:

so do i just recover all my spell slots

Igfig:

yeah, but only 1/day which I think you've already done

frosty:

I AM FIRE, EATER OF ALL

Varus:

no i havent

Orrin:

How many hit dice can I spend on a short rest?

Varus:

all of them

Igfig:

Well then recover what you would normally recover on top of what I just gave you

Varus:

okay

Igfig:

another 5 levels, I think?

Igfig:

so 10 levels, divided as you like among slots

Varus:

yup 5

Orrin:

Do I actually have to roll them?

Varus:

okay

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

well

Varus:

or you can take the median i thought

Igfig:

we can assume you're up to full

Orrin:

Yeah I mean we're not getting another rest so I'll use as many as it takes.

Igfig:

no, median is only for rolling your hp

Varus:

aah okay

Igfig:

actually, it might affect how injured you are after this battle, if you survive

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So just so I know how it works, so if I recover my 5th level spell slot that is the only slot I recover?

Igfig:

yeah

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Right then.

Varus:

i recovered cloud kill

Orrin:

I recovered all the spells I spent on that dildo.

Orrin:

So that's nice.

Igfig:

aright

Varus:

aaand

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I'm just going to do that then cause a level 5 heat metal spell would be amazing.

Varus:

i think ill recover ray of enfeeblement and thunderwave and scorching ray

Igfig:

hehe

Varus:

alrighty

Orrin:

Man, how cool was it when I punched that robot so hard he exploded?

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Pretty darn cool.

Arryn:

i have no spells

Igfig:

you know that you don't have to choose a specific spell, right Varus?

Varus:

o right

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

well those are the spells i used in those slots

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Slightly overshadowed at the moment by the overwhelming doom in the atmosphere, but still.

frosty:

spells are for losers

Igfig:

Arryn and Frosty just feel really angry

Orrin:

Meh, we've been dealing with overwhelming doom for weeks now.

Varus:

yeah

Igfig:

Anyway!

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yeah, not sky color changing levels of it though.

Igfig:

The Lord of Blades laughs

Igfig:

or rather

Orrin:

When was the last time we WEREN'T in a race against time to stop some fucking thing or other from happening.

Igfig:

says "HA. HA. HA. HA."

Igfig:

"APOTHEOSIS IS AT HAND."

Varus:

awkward

Arryn:

i was flying a couple hours ago that was fun

Igfig:

"EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LOVED WILL PASS INTO DUST."

Varus:

"I love you lord"

Varus:

"will you turn to dust too"

frosty:

"and you into rust"

frosty:

dangit Varus that was lame

Varus:

I love him :'(

Orrin:

I love dust.

Igfig:

"NO I WILL BECOME GREATER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. I. THE FINAL BECOMING GOD."

Varus:

will dust turn to dust

Orrin:

Your move, Ominous Otherworldly Apocalypse.

Orrin:

Oh man.

Varus:

"but you said that everything we love will turn to dust, if i love you, you will turn to dust

frosty:

"NU UH"

Igfig:

"THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE."

frosty:

"I AM GOD"

Orrin:

I hope the fact that we broke his machine just fucks him over completely.

Varus:

"You're contradicting yourself here lord"

Varus:

oh right

Varus:

i forgot we did that

Orrin:

He doesn't know we did the thing.

Varus:

i wonder if he knows we did that

frosty:

"DUM DUM"

Varus:

we still have that coil

Igfig:

er wait

Orrin:

It's in Frosty's chest.

Igfig:

*"THE RITUAL IS UNDERWAY"

Igfig:

"BUT YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE ITS COMPLETION."

frosty:

"I WAS GOD FIRST"

frosty:

"LOSER"

Varus:

oh right

Orrin:

"You might not either, chum."

Varus:

i wonder what he has to say about frosty being back

frosty:

"YOU CANNOT KILL A GOD"

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I'd say showing him the iron thing would be fun, but, would he even know about the iron thing in the first place? Or have any knowledge of its importance to the ritual?

Igfig:

"WHAT IS A GOD TO A BETTER GOD"

Igfig:

"YOU ARE NOTHING"

Varus:

lets do it RIGHT as the transformation happens

Varus:

man that was a terrible line

frosty:

"ALIVE"

Varus:

the lord has no way with words

Igfig:

I know right

frosty:

"YOU MISERABLE SHIT"

Orrin:

In his defense, he probably never really had to.

Varus:

yeah he just shouts a lot

Orrin:

There aren't a lot of problems he can't or won't solve by murdering them.

frosty:

"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME, YOU CANT EVEN DOUSE A FIRE"

Igfig:

"ADVANCE MY LEGIONS. TAKE THE CASTLE. LEAVE THESE ONES TO ME."

frosty:

"FUCK HOLSTER"

Igfig:

WE HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS. THEM. I. AND MY ALLIES."

frosty:

'PISSLORD''

Igfig:

He raises something, a small metal cube covered in etchings

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Frosty is being a real spitfire.

Igfig:

crushes it in his hands

Varus:

can i roll arcana

Orrin:

"Guys remember when I punted this schlub's dogs out that window? What a doofus."

server:

frosty moons the lords of blades

frosty:

1d20+5 intimidate

Fortuna:

frosty, intimidate: [5] = 10

Igfig:

"I WILL KILL YOU FOR THAT"

Varus:

sad

frosty:

awwww

Igfig:

"ALL OF THAT"

Varus:

an intimidating moon

Varus:

the butt growls a little

server:

frosty farts

Igfig:

as the cube shatters, a dozen smallish demons appear in a flash of darkness around you

Igfig:

the Lord raises his arm and cocks an embedded wand

Orrin:

Oooh little demons, NOW I'm scared.

Varus:

yeah we kinda

Varus:

got a guy thats all about divine stuff right here

Varus:

also surrounded?

Varus:

bad idea

Varus:

that just means thunderwave

Igfig:

and the two artificers flanking him raise their own wands

Igfig:

thunderwave is a cube, not a burst

Varus:

man this guys still 30 meters away

Igfig:

he's about 80 now

Igfig:

and now

Varus:

i know i mean ill thunderwave the demons

Igfig:

unless there's anything else you want to do in the next 6 seconds

Orrin:

I don't think they're going to do anythign to us.

Igfig:

roll initiative.

Varus:

hmmm

Igfig:

http://labs.echonest.com/Uploader/index.html?trid=TRYDOVI14A2CC573CD&sq=0&thresh=40

Orrin:

1d20

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20: [13] = 13

frosty:

1d20+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+5: [3] = 8

Varus:

1d20+1

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20+1: [17] = 18

Varus:

yaaaaaas

Arryn:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Arryn, 1d20+4: [11] = 15

Varus:

do you want a treat igfig

Varus:

yaass

Varus:

hmm

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20 about time for a low one.

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, about time for a low one.: [4] = 4

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yup.

Varus:

my song idea was the count duku fight song

Igfig:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/20/fe/6f/20fe6fd3d422bffc2ff696702f243d5c.jpg

Varus:

should we make a map

Igfig:

is what the little demons look like

Varus:

ew

Igfig:

We could, but we don't have to I think

Varus:

how close are they

Orrin:

Cute.

Igfig:

well, how were you guys standing?

frosty:

"ugly motherfuckers, arent you

frosty:

"

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Probably posing, cause shit just got real.

Varus:

i assumed right beside each other

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

we were posing

Varus:

like idiots

Varus:

anyways

Varus:

thunderwave is 15 foot radius

Igfig:

15-foot cube

Igfig:

not radius

Varus:

so 7.5 radius

Varus:

are they in range of that

Orrin:

I suppose I'm between these goofballs and the danger.

Arryn:

15 cubed is not 7.5

Varus:

orrin

Arryn:

like 225

Varus:

i meant 7.5 from me to the edge of the cube

Varus:

anyways

Varus:

can i cast antigrav on you orrin

Varus:

and throw you at the lord

Igfig:

well you wouldn't be able to hit more than about three or four regardless, since they're not all in a mass

Varus:

thats good neough

Igfig:

they're surrounding you in a circle

Varus:

hitting 4 is a good number

Orrin:

Let's see if they even get an init.

Igfig:

anyway, rolling

Igfig:

1d20-1 manes init

Fortuna:

Igfig, manes init: [14] = 13

Orrin:

Before we do stuff to them.

Orrin:

Okay they did.

Igfig:

1d20+1 artificers init

Fortuna:

Igfig, artificers init: [3] = 4

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Darn, the artificers beat me cause they have a higher bonus then me.

Igfig:

1d20+2 LoB init

Fortuna:

Igfig, LoB init: [14] = 16

Orrin:

Man Ig, this has some decent loops.

Igfig:

what's the order?

Igfig:

aye

Varus:

yeah this is good

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I know it does, I was so happy.

Igfig:

this is Blaze's choice

Igfig:

good choice Blaze

Varus:

varus, lord of blades, arryn, manes, orrin, frosty, blaze

Igfig:

basically perfect for the context

Orrin:

Varus, LoB, Arryn, Orrin, Manes, Frosty, Artificers, Blaze.

Igfig:

okay

Orrin:

I go before Manes because my bonus is higher.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yar, it is dramatic, there are metal noises, it is all fun.

Varus:

oh ok

Igfig:

in that case Varus

Igfig:

feel free to begin

Varus:

THUNDERWAVE

Varus:

like IMMEDIATELY

Varus:

just imainge

Varus:

woosh

Varus:

the moment the "battle" begins

Varus:

i explode

Varus:

con save from the manes

frosty:

exploding is my bit, man

Varus:

too bad

Igfig:

I think it's Str, isn't it? It's a push

Orrin:

You can show him how it's done here in a minute.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Also, just realized I forgot the as a team part with that pose cause shit just got real thing earlier.

Varus:

no its a con save

frosty:

i will explode in you face

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Remember we are doing that altered saves thing I think?

Igfig:

and explode is not the right word, because this is a blast, not a burst

frosty:

;)

Varus:

ive used this spell enough to know

Blaze_Half-Elf:

It hasn't come up very often, yar.

Igfig:

their Str i s slightly worse in any case

Igfig:

3#1d20

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20: [9] = 9; 1d20: [2] = 2; 1d20: [17] = 17

Varus:

WOW OOK ITS A STRENGTH SAVE

Varus:

oh

Varus:

well whatever

Varus:

one passes

Varus:

the other two takeeeee

Varus:

2d8

Fortuna:

Varus, 2d8: [1, 3] = 4

Varus:

and are thrown

Varus:

man

Varus:

cmon

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh dear.

Varus:

can i delay my move until blaze's turn

Varus:

cause im gunna hop on his back when he transforms

frosty:

my pose is still mooning and flipping off the lob

Igfig:

uh... sure

Varus:

and use my guns to shoot shit

Varus:

then i end for now

Igfig:

LoB goes

Igfig:

He takes a few steps forward (70' away), and fires his wand

Igfig:

Stinking Cloud

Igfig:

centred right on top of you

Igfig:

everybody make a Con save

Varus:

1d20

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20: [6] = 6

frosty:

lol @ breathers

Varus:

yeah what about frosty

Igfig:

you're not immune either Frosty

Orrin:

Y'all should have your +4 from me.

Orrin:

1d20+7

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+7: [17] = 24

Varus:

oh ya

Varus:

so i roll a 10

Varus:

MAN I LOVE ORRIN

frosty:

1d20+13

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+13: [6] = 19

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, 1d20+4: [18] = 22

Arryn:

1d20+6

Fortuna:

Arryn, 1d20+6: [10] = 16

Igfig:

oh wait

Igfig:

sorry Frosty, my bad, you are immune

Varus:

excellent

Varus:

since its gas

frosty:

you know it

Varus:

can frosty ignite it

Igfig:

okay, so everyone makes the save but Varus

Orrin:

I really hope not.

frosty:

and burn us all

Orrin:

Since we're standing in it.

frosty:

i say yes

Varus:

aw

Igfig:

you cannot Frosty

Varus:

AW

frosty:

aww

Varus:

ig i got a 10

Varus:

from the +4

Varus:

is that not enough

Igfig:

which was not enough

Varus:

:(

Varus:

ok

Varus:

i choke to death

Varus:

rip

Igfig:

nah, you just can't take an action this turn

Varus:

oh

frosty:

lol @ breathers

Varus:

does that mean i cant hop onto blaze

Igfig:

but you already did, so it's ok

Igfig:

you can still move

Varus:

ok

Varus:

so basically

Varus:

fuck the lord of blade

Igfig:

but you're just retching like crazy

Igfig:

also, you can't see anything in here

Varus:

gross

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Ew

Igfig:

20' radius totally obscured

Varus:

i put my hand on blaze's shoulder

Varus:

since i remembered where he wa

Varus:

s

frosty:

even with my shining??

Igfig:

who's next?

Varus:

i also vomit on his shoes

Orrin:

Arryn.

Igfig:

Arryn!

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Aw man.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I put the turn order up on the map at space too, for handiness.

Varus:

i got another song for this fight if we get tired of this one

Igfig:

ah, thanks

Arryn:

ok lessee attacking blind

Arryn:

uh we saw where they were before tho right?

Igfig:

more or less

Igfig:

you know which square to attack, but will have disad

Arryn:

okay what works on demons.....

Arryn:

axes

Arryn:

demons dont like axes, i am p sure

server:

Arryn turns sword to axe

Igfig:

sounds about right

Varus:

a two hand is 1d12

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Axes work great in most games I can think of when it comes to killing demons.

Igfig:

and one-hand is 1d8

Arryn:

one handed

Igfig:

aight, battleaxe ho

Arryn:

and so with my new axe i charge at a demon varus knocked over

Igfig:

aight

Arryn:

whichever, idc

Varus:

that means advantage

Varus:

cause its down

Igfig:

so they cancel out

Varus:

7yuop

Igfig:

good choice

Arryn:

1d20+8 axe

Fortuna:

Arryn, axe: [3] = 11

Arryn:

pffff

Varus:

you know

Varus:

it may have been better to use cloud kill

Varus:

but i want to hit the lord withn that

Igfig:

against these demons, you mean?

Orrin:

Wouldn't that also kill us?

Arryn:

1d20+8 SHORTSORD

Fortuna:

Arryn, SHORTSORD: [5] = 13

Varus:

yes to both

Varus:

itd have hit one half of them

Varus:

and then rolled away towards the lord

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I'd definitely aim it at the Lord of Blades and see if you can't get those artificers with it as well.

Igfig:

oh, actually both of those hit Arryn

Varus:

i can get both

Varus:

wow

Varus:

they reallydont have much ac

Arryn:

oh

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Cause spellcasters are a pain in the keester.

Arryn:

ok

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

so blaze on your turn

Varus:

can you fly towards the lord when i ride you

Igfig:

damage Arryn?

Varus:

so i can be close to cloud kill right after

Varus:

since you go last

Arryn:

hang on, remembering how much

Varus:

1d8

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d8: [6] = 6

Varus:

+ strength

Varus:

NICE

Arryn:

1d8+4 axe

Fortuna:

Arryn, axe: [6] = 10

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I'm not going to be flying, I think things are going to get a little weird when I transform.

Igfig:

you cleave it right in half Arryn

Varus:

oh god

Varus:

what are you doing blaze

Igfig:

also Blaze are you using your magic staff at all this fight

Varus:

WAIT

Varus:

I KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING

Arryn:

well fuck

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I really should, yeah.

Varus:

use the staff once we get close

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I can do that before I transform.

Varus:

arent both of those an action?

Arryn:

can i use that sord on the other fallen one?

Igfig:

it's only 5 ft radius, remember

Varus:

use it once we get to the lord in melee range then

Varus:

itll help orrin a lot

Igfig:

you can Arryn

Igfig:

and I thought wild shape was a bonus action?

Varus:

igfig is this a deadly rating encounter

Blaze_Half-Elf:

It is a bonus action for me.

Varus:

oh cool

Arryn:

1d6 i dont remember if sord has a bonus for anything

Fortuna:

Arryn, i dont remember if sord has a bonus for anything: [5] = 5

Igfig:

it is, Varus

Arryn:

STAB STAB

Varus:

strength ben

Varus:

and ok

Igfig:

you run it right through

Varus:

fuck ya

Igfig:

the two dead demons dissolve into black tarry goop

Arryn:

these fuckin demons

Arryn:

goddam chumps

Igfig:

Doing anything else Arryn? Or is it Orrin's turn

Igfig:

you still have about 15' of movement

Varus:

i think youre in a good position

Varus:

just hang around there

Varus:

itll divide the demon's movement

Arryn:

uh i dont think i move

Arryn:

yeah

Varus:

ORRIN THEN

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Orrin can probably just send all the demons running in fear really.

Varus:

fortuna has a higher ping than igfig

Orrin:

I don't have a spell for that.

Igfig:

Whatcha doin Orrin

Orrin:

But I'm gonna do something much more useful.

Varus:

just fuck something up

Varus:

do the legend of zelda spin attack

Orrin:

I'm gonna use my action to cast Righteous Shield before anything bad happens.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Don't you have that fear causing thing? But yar, you know what you can do.

Orrin:

any of you within 10 feet of me have resistance to bludgeoning, slashing and piercing.

Orrin:

I can only do that to one person Blaze.

Igfig:

oh wow

Varus:

thats the stuff i doooo like

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh, now I know, yar.

Varus:

orrin is a walking mass aura

frosty:

uh i already have resistance to that am i like immune now

Varus:

i think the resist doubles

Orrin:

So you take 1/4 damage from basically all melee.

Orrin:

Neat!

Varus:

all martial

frosty:

woooo

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I don't think it works like that? If it did then that'd be insane.

Varus:

cause that includes bows and stuff

Orrin:

Resist is just half damage now.

Orrin:

Instead of the way it used to be.

Igfig:

it does not double

Varus:

^^

Varus:

oh

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Think of a team of four paladins going phalanxe with all of them having Righteous shield active.

Arryn:

awww

Varus:

aha

Orrin:

Oh well, now we all have it.

Varus:

thatd be AMAZING

Igfig:

also Orrin, what is Righteous Shield? I don't see it in the spell list

Igfig:

is it a paladin ability I don't see?

Orrin:

Hmm.

Orrin:

Did they rename it in the final thing? Hold on.

Varus:

yeah its here in the playtest book

Igfig:

oh, you should be really careful about working out of that

Varus:

i know something we should be more careful of

Varus:

WHATEVER CHAIN IS FUCKING DOING

Orrin:

Yeah I haven't used it yet so I kinda forgot it was there.

Igfig:

what level spell is it?

Igfig:

3?

Varus:

coulda been useful

Orrin:

2.

Varus:

wow

Varus:

that doesnt sound like a level 2 spell

Arryn:

would chain have shown us the engine if he was bad

Varus:

he could have expected us to die to the big thing

Orrin:

They may just have taken it out.

Orrin:

Huh.

Varus:

shit

Igfig:

that is way too strong, I think

Igfig:

because Stoneskin is a level 4 spell

Igfig:

and does the same thing except single-target

Varus:

yeah

frosty:

SUCKEEEERS

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Probably why they took it out, yar.

Varus:

heyf rosty

Varus:

fuck you

Igfig:

how about Aura of Vitality?

frosty:

;)

Igfig:

or Aid

Orrin:

I'm trying to decide between that and Crusader's Mantle.

server:

Arryn quit.

Igfig:

Crusader's Mantle is also cool

Orrin:

Would y'all rather have healing or bonus damage?

Varus:

hmmm

Varus:

healing

Orrin:

Okie doke.

Varus:

these demons are made of paper

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Probably healing, yar.

server:

skippydippy joined #pwot_dnd.

skippydippy:

hahhaahaha

Orrin:

Orrin throws out his Aura of Vitality, shining with a faint radiant light in the stinking cloud.

server:

skippydippy

Igfig:

yes, skippydippy

Orrin:

And uses his move to keep himself between the Lord and the party.

Igfig:

right

Varus:

lord seems content to stay and wand at us

Igfig:

oh, question Varus

Igfig:

the ones you thunderwaved

Varus:

they were between us and the lord

Igfig:

which direction was that?

Igfig:

k

Orrin:

He's had one turn and he used it for an AOE, we'll see what he does.

Igfig:

so Arryn is still closer to the LoB than Orrin?

Varus:

id say so

Varus:

they get thrown 15 feet

Arryn:

maybe

Varus:

no

Varus:

10 feet

Arryn:

i went somewhere, if thats where

Igfig:

Arryn is right at the edge of the cloud, but still inside

Orrin:

If she is, I move to get between them.

Varus:

yeah arryn is still pretty close

Orrin:

And release my magic shield.

Igfig:

you'll provoke an OA if you do, Orrin

Varus:

id say stay closer orrin

Varus:

so they have to move past you and provoke oa to get to us

Orrin:

From a demon?

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

not that it matters much

Varus:

stay between arryn and us

Orrin:

I'd really like Arryn not to get lit the fuck up when those artificers go.

Varus:

arryn will be fine

Varus:

shes in our healing

Orrin:

I can have one person heal on my turn.

Varus:

and in the cloud

Orrin:

It's not like we just have limitless health.

Varus:

i know

Varus:

stay in the cloud so the artificers have disadvantage

Arryn:

why does Orrin get op attacked and not me?

Orrin:

Because you were attacking.

Arryn:

ah

Orrin:

Do I have to leave the cloud to get between them?

Varus:

yes

Igfig:

I suppose you should have too Arryn

Arryn:

smh

Igfig:

but I wasn't thinking about it

Varus:

no he wouldnt have

Igfig:

yeah, you would Orrin

Varus:

cause the ones i launched were beside each other

Orrin:

I'll stay in the cloud then.

Varus:

so arryn runs through a spot that demons are a square away from

Varus:

no oa

Igfig:

I mean, realistically, if I told Arryn she'd take an OA, she'd just tumble and avoid it anyway

Igfig:

so no biggie

Varus:

well whatever then

Arryn:

yeah tru

Varus:

next person then

Orrin:

Manes.

Igfig:

ok, before that

Igfig:

The LoB is switching out his one-use Stinking Cloud wand for his not-so-limited Wand of Magic Missile

Varus:

hohoho

Varus:

what a PUNK ASS BITCH

Igfig:

and firing at the vague outline of Arryn at the edge of the cloud

Varus:

arryn want me to shield that

Varus:

it negates magic missile

Igfig:

I'll give him a 50% miss chance because he's not entirely sure which square you're in

Igfig:

so

Arryn:

DODGE

Igfig:

1d2, 1 is a miss

Fortuna:

Igfig, is a miss: [1] = (1, 1)

Varus:

YOOOOO

Arryn:

hah

Varus:

igfig

Igfig:

oh wait, magic missile shoots three

Orrin:

I'll take that opportunity to swear my Vow of Enmity against him.

Igfig:

more likely then, he just sprays it across

Orrin:

So I have advantage on attack rolls against him until he dies.

Igfig:

so you get hit by one, and two miss you

Igfig:

so you take 1d4+1, Arryn

Igfig:

1d4+1

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d4+1: [1] = 2

Varus:

haaaah

Varus:

HAAAAAAH

Igfig:

aright Orrin

Varus:

the lord of blades is a lord of balls

Arryn:

haha

Varus:

i message that to him btw

Igfig:

you can just yell at this distance

Igfig:

Anyway, now the manes go

Varus:

yeah but message is funnier

Varus:

but fine

Igfig:

they're immune to poison so they don't worry about the cloud. Still obscured though

Orrin:

It is funnier if he just has these whispers in his ear the whole fight.

Igfig:

there were 10 alive

Varus:

yup

Varus:

and message is a minor

Orrin:

Misses an attack "her u were a fgt"

Varus:

so i can do it every turn

Varus:

just nagging at him

Igfig:

that is true, but--oh, it is?

Igfig:

in that case sure

Varus:

yessssss

Varus:

i message him that then

Varus:

"lord of blades, more like lord of balls"

Igfig:

hehe, aright

Varus:

i need to make sure not to actually use it when i need my minor though

Igfig:

10#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [1] = 3; 1d20+2: [16] = 18; 1d20+2: [3] = 5; 1d20+2: [9] = 11; 1d20+2: [4] = 6; 1d20+2: [9] = 11; 1d20+2: [10] = 12; 1d20+2: [20] = 22; 1d20+2: [14] = 16; 1d20+2: [16] = 18

Igfig:

10#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [19] = 21; 1d20+2: [6] = 8; 1d20+2: [3] = 5; 1d20+2: [11] = 13; 1d20+2: [20] = 22; 1d20+2: [19] = 21; 1d20+2: [2] = 4; 1d20+2: [9] = 11; 1d20+2: [5] = 7; 1d20+2: [5] = 7

frosty:

uh can i see anything because i am a walking 60 beacon of light?

Varus:

we killed 2 of them though

Varus:

shouldnt it be 8

Igfig:

uh, I guess it's 2 on each of you in the middle, btw

Varus:

one crits

Igfig:

three 11s

Varus:

wanna organize those attacks ig

Igfig:

they have disad because of the concealment, remember?

Varus:

right

Orrin:

Yeah.

Varus:

one crit fails then

Igfig:

so the only rolls that have a chance of hitting are the three 11s

Varus:

nope

Varus:

i got 12 ac

Varus:

THANKS TO MY ROBE +1

Blaze_Half-Elf:

One of those 11s is a 9 actually.

Varus:

FUCK YEAH ROBE

frosty:

but i am super bright the ones that come at me no disad??

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Wait no, read wrong.

Igfig:

nah it's ok Frosty

Orrin:

Gotta go to the bathroom, two seconds.

Igfig:

if it was dark that'd be another matter

Varus:

i need to pee too

Varus:

good opportunity

Igfig:

what's Blaze's AC?

Orrin:

If anything, a very bright light in the cloud would make it even harder to pinpoint you.

frosty:

aight

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So I take a hit then, it is exactly 11, cause I finally put that leather armor on.

Igfig:

3#1d5 one is blaze

Fortuna:

Igfig, one is blaze: [3] = 3; one is blaze: [5] = 5; one is blaze: [1] = 1

Igfig:

one hit then Blaze

Igfig:

2d4 damage

Fortuna:

Igfig, damage: [1, 4] = 5

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Kay.

Igfig:

and then it's Frosty's turn

Varus:

back

frosty:

so where is Orrin now???

Varus:

inbetween arryn and us

Igfig:

with two demons on him

frosty:

cause like i dont wanna explode yet this is good shit now

Varus:

frosty when are you planning on exploding

Varus:

or are you just gunna hang around orrin forever

frosty:

so i have two fists i run to him and punch them out

frosty:

well not yet

Varus:

i think hes too far to run to

frosty:

nope

Varus:

also thatd be OA central if yoy do that

frosty:

not for me

frosty:

yes

frosty:

i am cool with oas

Varus:

fine then

Varus:

since i know you wont stay and kill more demons if i ask

frosty:

so

server:

frosty windmill arm run to Orrin

Igfig:

Frosty could get to the LoB, yeah, but he'd have to make a Con save once he moved too far from Orrin

frosty:

^

Igfig:

oh, you meant to Orrin

Igfig:

ok

Varus:

if he explodes all over the lob

Varus:

thatd be awesome

Varus:

are you running to orrin or the lord

frosty:

Orrin you thick shit

Igfig:

okay

Varus:

just making sure

Varus:

since exploding is kinda something you want to make sure if its happening or not

Igfig:

getting there you will take a few OAs... 1d6 of them I'll say

Igfig:

1d6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d6: [5] = 5

Igfig:

5#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [17] = 19; 1d20+2: [10] = 12; 1d20+2: [10] = 12; 1d20+2: [11] = 13; 1d20+2: [5] = 7

Igfig:

5#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [1] = 3; 1d20+2: [6] = 8; 1d20+2: [10] = 12; 1d20+2: [11] = 13; 1d20+2: [18] = 20

Varus:

ow

Igfig:

all miss

Varus:

oh

Varus:

they all miss

Orrin:

Why am I a thick shit?

Varus:

man

Varus:

thanks lord for this cloud

frosty:

hahah

Igfig:

haha

Igfig:

okay Frosty, whatcha doing

frosty:

2#1d20+9 punch

Fortuna:

frosty, punch: [7] = 16; punch: [16] = 25

frosty:

FUCK YOUR DISADS

Igfig:

those certainly hit

Varus:

DOUBLEEEEE EPUUUNCHHH

frosty:

2d6+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 2d6+5: [5, 4] = 14

frosty:

2d6+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 2d6+5: [4, 5] = 14

frosty:

WHATUP

Varus:

so 8 demons left

Igfig:

oh wait sorry, you still have disad

Igfig:

I'm pretty sure

Igfig:

unless you did something to negate that

frosty:

yeah i thought so

Varus:

if he ran to orrin then yeah he does

Orrin:

I'd think the sheer number of them would negate that.

Igfig:

so roll another two for your second attack

Orrin:

If he just flails wildly he's almost certain to hit.

Varus:

well even still you can just fling your arm and hit somethign

frosty:

which is why i did two, but then you said

Igfig:

shrug

Orrin:

Aren't two of them physically ON him?

Igfig:

yeah, I screwed up

Igfig:

no, not physically on

Varus:

so

Varus:

roll disad orno

Igfig:

roll disad

Varus:

ok

frosty:

okay so that was one punch

frosty:

oh

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

so roll the second punch

Igfig:

two dice for the second punch

frosty:

1d20+9

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+9: [16] = 25

frosty:

1d20+9

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+9: [7] = 16

Varus:

i just noticed they changed the mibbit logo to some fuckin windows office word art shit

Blaze_Half-Elf:

the mirroring.

frosty:

SAME FUCKING THING

Igfig:

you know, you actually can't miss except on a 1

frosty:

hahah

Igfig:

anyway

Igfig:

the two you hit

Varus:

how much hp do these things have

Igfig:

you give them a good whack

Varus:

they died so easily

Igfig:

but they're resistant to fire

frosty:

i didnt include fire damage

Varus:

hes wearing his uh

frosty:

that was only punch

Igfig:

so they're still just barely alive and cackling

Varus:

shin pads or whatever

frosty:

fire is + 1d10

frosty:

which i should do

Igfig:

all your damage is fire damage drosty

Igfig:

the 1d10 is for if you enter their spaces

frosty:

oh

frosty:

so all the oas are fire

Igfig:

except they all missed

Igfig:

or you mean you just went through them

frosty:

still entered space tho? or miss entirely

Igfig:

uhh

Varus:

wut

Igfig:

1d20 ten or higher they entered your space

Fortuna:

Igfig, ten or higher they entered your space: [8] = 8

Igfig:

they did not

frosty:

aight

Igfig:

Next up then

frosty:

stupid fucks

frosty:

waaaaiiit

Igfig:

oh sorry

frosty:

2#1d10 these fucks

Fortuna:

frosty, these fucks: [6] = 6; these fucks: [2] = 2

Igfig:

okay, the one dies

Igfig:

the other doesn't quite

Varus:

so they have like 10 hp

Varus:

ok

Igfig:

done now?

frosty:

yeah

frosty:

now i pee

Igfig:

All right

Varus:

then its tHE FARTIFICERS

Igfig:

One of the artificers moves up to 60' away

Igfig:

and casts Web

Varus:

:(

Igfig:

centred on the same spot as the cloud

Varus:

:(((((((((((((

Igfig:

which I think catches all of you except Arryn?

Varus:

arryn is at the very edge

Varus:

still in the cloud

Varus:

barely

Igfig:

everybody else make a Str save

Varus:

1d20+3

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20+3: [16] = 19

Varus:

with orrins +4

Igfig:

right

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, 1d20+4: [14] = 18

Orrin:

1d20+8

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+8: [3] = 11

Varus:

we can assume frosty passes

Varus:

since his becomes +12

Arryn:

yeah i am still in cloud barely

Varus:

1d20+12 for frosty

Fortuna:

Varus, for frosty: [10] = 22

Varus:

ya see

Igfig:

frosty is quite all right yes

Igfig:

so.. only Orrin is caught immediately

Arryn:

like edge but still there

Varus:

haha fuck u orrin

Varus:

im jks

Igfig:

oh wait shit I totally missed something important about this spell

Blaze_Half-Elf:

?

Varus:

oh no

Igfig:

it has to be anchored or it collapses next round

Igfig:

and you're out in the middle of the street

Varus:

oh

Varus:

EXCELLENT

Orrin:

What a scrub.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

And that is why you don't want your wizards running on a pre-programmed algorithm.

Varus:

guys do you want me to magic missile these demons or move and throw out cloud kill

Igfig:

The other one drops a Shatter on the same spot

Orrin:

Let's get rid of the demons as fast as we can.

Varus:

ok

Igfig:

Con saves for the same people

Varus:

i can thunder wave again

Varus:

1d20

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20: [18] = 18

Varus:

+4

frosty:

1d20+13

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d20+13: [20] = 33

frosty:

FUCK YOU

Varus:

ITS ALWAYS FROSTY

Orrin:

Ben.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

1d20+4 oh dear.

Fortuna:

Blaze_Half-Elf, oh dear.: [4] = 8

Orrin:

Plz.

Varus:

IN PHILIDELPHIA

Varus:

hehe

Orrin:

1d20+7

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+7: [4] = 11

Orrin:

Jesus.

Varus:

haha

Varus:

fuckin nerds

Varus:

get on me and frosty's level

frosty:

FUCK ALL YALL

Igfig:

Blaze and Orrin fail

Igfig:

3d8 damage

Fortuna:

Igfig, damage: [1, 5, 3] = 9

Varus:

^5 frosty

Igfig:

thunder damage

frosty:

I AM GOD

Igfig:

half to the rest

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh that wasn't so bad.

Varus:

WOW

Varus:

only 9 damage

Varus:

yall got lucky

frosty:

NO VARUS YOU DIDNT EVEN BREAK 20

Varus:

YES I DID

frosty:

I AM GOD

Varus:

WITH +4 I GOT 22

frosty:

I AM 33

Varus:

ur old

Varus:

anyways

Varus:

whose next

Varus:

blaze:

Varus:

?

frosty:

MY LEVEL=BEST

Blaze_Half-Elf:

If they are done, yar.

Varus:

ya

Varus:

they moved and attacked

Igfig:

Blaze turn then

Varus:

blaze lets take out these demons

Varus:

dont use the staff yet

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I don't really have anything good for demons I think.

Varus:

no good area attacks?

Blaze_Half-Elf:

All of them are fire damage.

Varus:

dang

Varus:

you should have been named frosty

Varus:

OH WAIT

Varus:

WE ALREADY GOT THAT

Varus:

B)

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Well, or spike growth, but all of my stuff has friendly fire potential.

Varus:

errmm

Varus:

dont then

Varus:

can you transform and swing your tail like a dinosaur in jurassic park

Blaze_Half-Elf:

The staff and the transform are both bonus actions, so I think I can only do one or the other if I want to attack as well.

Varus:

you could downgrade a move to a bonus?

Igfig:

nope

Varus:

dang

Igfig:

doesn't work that way

Varus:

whats the staff do

Igfig:

magic circle, and Bless

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Blesses us, which would be rather handy.

Varus:

hum

Varus:

whats bless do

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Magic Circle?

Varus:

+1d4?

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yup, on attacks and saving throws.

Igfig:

Bless while the staff is standing, plus 1 minute

Varus:

hmmmm

Varus:

HMMMM

Igfig:

magic circle keeps fiends out

Igfig:

or in

Varus:

hey are demons fiends

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Si.

Varus:

GO FOR IT

Igfig:

also they have disad against targets inside the circle

Varus:

hell ya

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So yeah, I go forwards towards Orrin and Frosty with Varus following me so hopefully Arryn will be in range for the staff as well then.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Slam it down in the middle of us.

Varus:

yeah we are

Igfig:

okay, you manage to push through the web

Varus:

we'll all be protected by it

Varus:

fuckthat web

Igfig:

and yeah, you're all close enough together

Orrin:

We

Igfig:

some OAs though

Igfig:

1d6 oas

Fortuna:

Igfig, oas: [2] = 2

Orrin:

re gonna have to close with the Lord eventually

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Alrighty.

Varus:

we will orrin

Igfig:

2#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [10] = 12; 1d20+2: [10] = 12

Igfig:

2#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [15] = 17; 1d20+2: [9] = 11

Varus:

once these demons are done for

Blaze_Half-Elf:

That's fine, the bless will keep going, yar.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Darn, both hit.

Igfig:

2#2d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 2d4: [3, 3] = 6; 2d4: [2, 4] = 6

Blaze_Half-Elf:

This leather armor isn't working out so well.

Varus:

ow

Varus:

so blaze didnt transform

Blaze_Half-Elf:

And bloodied, which isn't great.

Varus:

how many demons are trapped inside the barrier

Varus:

and how many are outside

Igfig:

I think they're all outside

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So now the question is do I attack something or do I transform, yar.

Varus:

theyre outside

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I think I should probably attack something this turn.

Varus:

so you should attack

Varus:

then transform next

Varus:

i can shield you if you need it

Varus:

+4 ac for that attack and then until the start of my turn

Varus:

and nulllified magic missile

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Well that does bloody me actually.

Igfig:

what? you're bloodied already?

Igfig:

how can that be

frosty:

hehe fleshbag

Varus:

hes a squishy baby who relies onw ild form

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I only have 48 hit points.

Varus:

YOU HAVE MORE THAN ME

Igfig:

oh, I guess so

Blaze_Half-Elf:

9 and 12 and I forget I think it was 5 damage before that, yar.

Igfig:

all right

Igfig:

yeah

frosty:

fleshy fleshbag

Varus:

so do an atttack this turn

Varus:

ill shield if you have to

Varus:

and then wild form nexy

Igfig:

on the other hand, wild shape wpuld improve your AC

Varus:

yeah but plz kill one of these demons

Varus:

theres still 8 left

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yeah, I think I can survive another turn before I do that though.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Um, yar, I cast spike growth behind us back where all the demons are, where it is obscured from them by the cloud.

Varus:

that would hit like

Varus:

4??

Varus:

if we got 4 out from infront

Varus:

and theres 12 total

Blaze_Half-Elf:

All the ones that have to move to reach us.

Varus:

then 4 around the sides

Varus:

itll hit 4

Varus:

oh

Blaze_Half-Elf:

40 foot diameter circle, yar.

Varus:

dang

Blaze_Half-Elf:

It only hurts them as they move through it, they won't know it is there cause of the cloud obscuring their vision I think, so yar.

server:

Igfig quit.

Varus:

alright then

Varus:

oh

Varus:

1d20 fortuna you sitll here?

Fortuna:

Varus, fortuna you sitll here?: [15] = 15

Varus:

yup

server:

Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

And it does 2d4 damage for every 5 feet they travel.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Piercing.

Varus:

oooh

Varus:

thatll kill them before they reach us then

Varus:

if they move 2 squares to get to us

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So assuming they have to move to reach us, they take at least some damage, yar.

Igfig:

you could put all of them in the area, actually, but Frosty would still be inside

Varus:

frosty has liike 90 hp

Varus:

you should do it

Igfig:

or all but two of them, and not catch frosty

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Frosty can handle that, he'd be near the edge, yar, right Frosty?

Igfig:

also there are 9 left, three have been killed

Varus:

frosty waddaya say

Varus:

oh dang

Varus:

wheres frosty

Varus:

i say just do it

frosty:

what

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Taking a piss probably like he said, we'll just go ahead and do that then to catch all of them, he'll be fine and we can warn him about it. Heck, if he delays his turn till after mine he might have other traversal methods available.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Or I might stop concentrating on it and it'll go poof.

Varus:

is that your turn then?

frosty:

103 hp

Varus:

yeah frosty's fine

Varus:

if he falls unconcious he explodes though

Varus:

so we need to be careful still

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yup, blessed us all, cast spiky growth, ta das.

Varus:

alright

Varus:

THEN ITS VARUS TIME

Varus:

i can label those guys as officially #taken care of

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh, also also it is difficult terrain

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So yar.

Varus:

alright

Varus:

so orrin

Varus:

can i antigrav you

Varus:

and toss you at the enemies

Igfig:

Orrin is restrained at the moment

Varus:

oh

Varus:

hm

Varus:

how far is the lord and co

Igfig:

60'

Igfig:

also Varus, now that it's your turn

Igfig:

Con save

Varus:

fuck i forgot to save cloud kill on my thing again

Varus:

wait why

Igfig:

stinking cloud

Igfig:

you have to save each round

Varus:

1d20

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d20: [2] = 2

Varus:

+4

Varus:

oof

Varus:

so i cant do anything this turn then

Varus:

i guess i dotn do anything then

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Toss the bless in too.

Varus:

2+4+1d4

Fortuna:

Varus, 2+4+1d4: [2] = 8

Blaze_Half-Elf:

I don't think it'll help really, but for numbers sake.

Varus:

1d

Varus:

1d4

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d4: [4] = 4

Varus:

ok

Varus:

8

server:

Igfig quit.

Varus:

still nothin

Varus:

aw

Varus:

i got a 4 after that

Varus:

that would have put me at 10

server:

Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.

Igfig:

still not enough though

Varus:

i just hold onto blaze more to move with him when he moves

Varus:

end turn

Varus:

:I

Igfig:

yup

Igfig:

oh, at the end of your turn the LoB uses his last legendary action to inspire one of the manes next to... Frosty, I guess, I think everyone else isn't adjacent to a demon

Igfig:

to attack

Igfig:

2#1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2: [2] = 4; 1d20+2: [8] = 10

Igfig:

it misses

Varus:

haaaaaaaaaaaah

Varus:

what a WASTE

Igfig:

and now the LoB takes his turn

frosty:

fuck off with that weak shit

frosty:

^i shout that

Igfig:

he saw which of his magic missiles hit Arryn, so he'll do that again, but all at where she is

Igfig:

3d4+3

Fortuna:

Igfig, 3d4+3: [3, 4, 4] = 14

Varus:

arryn moved didnt she

Arryn:

how does dodge work?

Igfig:

don't think so, he cast his previous one after her turn

Igfig:

Arryn is bombarded with bolts of force

Varus:

but his init is before her

Orrin:

Yeah she moved.

Orrin:

Oh no.

Igfig:

he's legendary, he can take some actions out of turn

Orrin:

He changed wands mid-round.

Varus:

ok then

Varus:

arryn

Varus:

i can shield that

Igfig:

sure

Varus:

if you cant dodge

Igfig:

you can't dodge magic missiles

Arryn:

how does dodge work

Varus:

ok want me to shield?

Igfig:

not at all

Varus:

or

Varus:

you can use orrins heal aura thing

Varus:

or blaze could take that

Arryn:

but

Arryn:

how does dodge work

Varus:

i assume it adds disad for them

Varus:

it rlly doesnt matter rn ben

Orrin:

That has to be on my turn.

Igfig:

what do you mean how does dodge work

Igfig:

they make cars

Varus:

igfig plz

Igfig:

OH, uncanny dodge!

Arryn:

alright w/e

Arryn:

yes

Arryn:

varus you said shield?

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

i can do it

Igfig:

it only applies to actual attacks

Varus:

how much hp will you have left if you take that damage

Igfig:

this is just autodamage

Varus:

arryn

Varus:

igfig does lob do anything else

Varus:

while we wait for ben to do whatever he is doing

Arryn:

uh it was 14?

Varus:

yes

Arryn:

54

Varus:

ok youll be fine

Varus:

i wont shield that

Igfig:

That's all he does actually, he's less effective at range

Varus:

ok

Arryn:

:(

Varus:

srry bae

Varus:

im saving the shields for when we get in melee range with the lord

Igfig:

so who's next

Varus:

i cant remember the order

Varus:

check the map

Igfig:

Arryn!

Igfig:

Arryn turn

Varus:

i think we should start charging the lord and the artificers

Orrin:

Arryn is gone forever.

Varus:

since the demons will be taken care of by spike trap

Arryn:

am i still wrist deep in demon

Varus:

no

Arryn:

aight lesseee

Varus:

ben are you doing something else cause you seem super distracted from the game

Arryn:

so all demons dead you said?

Varus:

no

Varus:

they arent DEAD

Varus:

but theres a trap that does 2d4 every square between us and them

Varus:

so theyre fucked

Arryn:

i am right by one tho

Varus:

didnt frosty kill that one

frosty:

no

Varus:

then finish that one off i guess

Arryn:

but a missile mightve hit it idk

Varus:

well

Varus:

i could use magic missile on my turn

Igfig:

I think you killed the ones you were next to

Igfig:

but ok

Varus:

and just divert one at that guy

Varus:

well if ig says hes dead

Arryn:

i did 5 damage to the second with the sord

Igfig:

yeah, but it'd already taken damage

Igfig:

so it died

Arryn:

oh

Arryn:

ok

Varus:

hmmmm

Varus:

my turns gone so im gunna run to the caf before it closes

Varus:

i wont be gone long

Varus:

if my turn comes just delay me

Igfig:

oh wait, shit

Igfig:

Arryn, make a COn save

Igfig:

you're still in the cloud

Arryn:

1d20+2+4

Fortuna:

Arryn, 1d20+2+4: [10] = 16

Arryn:

ok

Igfig:

don't forget the +1d4 bonus from the bless

Igfig:

but yeah you're ok

Arryn:

16+1d4

Fortuna:

Arryn, 16+1d4: [2] = 18

Igfig:

what're you doing then

Arryn:

i jump outta the cloud and shoot at an artificer

Igfig:

all right

Igfig:

you could actually reach one by running if you preferred

Arryn:

can i roll for sweet cloud jump

Arryn:

okay

Igfig:

as a rogue, you can run and attack in the same round

Igfig:

sure

Arryn:

1d20+12 sweet jump

Fortuna:

Arryn, sweet jump: [1] = 13

server:

Arryn falls

Igfig:

not so sweet

Igfig:

uh, your bonus is still so good that that hardly feels like a critical fail

Igfig:

but yeah, maybe your advance is halted

server:

Arryn trips

Igfig:

you're back on your feet immediately, but I don't think you could make it all the way there now

Arryn:

alright i'll just shoot then

Igfig:

so you would have to make a ranged attack

server:

Arryn trips, stumbles a bit, out of the cloud, shoot

Arryn:

1d20+8 shot

Fortuna:

Arryn, shot: [10] = 18

Igfig:

that's a hit!

Arryn:

1d6+6 arrow

Fortuna:

Arryn, arrow: [5] = 11

Igfig:

I'll just tell you they have an AC of 14, so you can know immediately in the future whether you hit or not

Igfig:

aright, not bad

Igfig:

arrow buried in the one's chest

Igfig:

Orrin turn, or anything else you want to do?

Arryn:

and the rest of my move is various barrel rolls to avoid straight shot

Orrin:

Is restrain half move or no move?

Igfig:

no move

Igfig:

also make a Con save

Orrin:

1d20+7+1d4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+7+1d4: [11, 4] = 22

frosty:

i will carry you

Varus:

i could still move even while hacking up a lung right

Igfig:

it's a Str check to disentangle yourself

Igfig:

yeah, somehow you were able to avoid the stickier of the strands

Orrin:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+4: [9] = 13

Igfig:

that is in fact enough to get out

Orrin:

Sweet.

Igfig:

that is your action though

Orrin:

Are we charging?

Varus:

YES WE ARE

Orrin:

Righto. I go far enough to keep up with Arryn and Varus, then.

Varus:

well im just wish blaze

Varus:

im delaying my move

Igfig:

you catch up to Arryn though

Arryn:

i stumbled so not too far

Orrin:

Just arryn then.

Varus:

yeah you really arent that far

Igfig:

are you using that bonus action?

Varus:

you could get right to them

Orrin:

I get a bonus action?

Blaze_Half-Elf:

You can heal people for 2d6 with a bonus action from that Aura of Vitality thing.

Varus:

yeah heal blaze

Orrin:

Oh yeah.

Arryn:

you hurt her feelings

Varus:

2d6

Fortuna:

Varus, 2d6: [1, 2] = 3

Varus:

ok shes back

Varus:

roll it again orrin

Orrin:

9

Orrin:

2d6

Fortuna:

Orrin, 2d6: [2, 4] = 6

Varus:

great

Varus:

9

Orrin:

DAMN YOU FORTUNA

Fortuna:

Mm-hmm.

Varus:

YUP DEF 9

server:

Igfig quit.

Varus:

igs laughing at us thorugh fortuna

Varus:

fortuna do you hate us?

Fortuna:

That's no way to speak to a lady.

Fortuna:

Oh god, no.

Fortuna:

That would be awful.

Varus:

GOD DAMMIT IG

Arryn:

fortuna you dead?

Fortuna:

I don't think so.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Welp.

frosty:

fortuna you lagging?

Fortuna:

It's complicated.

frosty:

hah

Varus:

igfig ruins everything he touches

Varus:

orrin what are you doing when you reach the lord of blades

Varus:

are yu gunna punch him

Varus:

in his bitch ass face

Orrin:

Naturally.

server:

Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.

Orrin:

Ima hit him with this shiiiit.

Varus:

roll it orrin

Arryn:

finally

Orrin:

I can't this turn.

Orrin:

My action was to get out the web.

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

ok

frosty:

who net

Varus:

thatd e

frosty:

xt

Varus:

artificiers

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Is Igfig actually back or only partially back?

Igfig:

okau

Igfig:

sorry

Igfig:

my internet was continually shitting itself

Igfig:

so I went down to put my laundry in the dryer whiel I waited for it to sort itself out

Igfig:

I am back for real now

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Right, so Orrin decided he healed me before moving forwards, yar, for how much was it? I hadn't done it yet.

Igfig:

does anybody have a new song? The last one got old, I stopped it

Varus:

9

Varus:

yes i do!

Varus:

oh no i dont

Varus:

i closed it

Orrin:

I rolled a 9 on my RL dice while Fortuna was shitting, and then she rolled a 6 when she got back.

Igfig:

oh

Varus:

whatever

Varus:

ig which does he heal

Igfig:

the 9 let's say

Varus:

yay

Varus:

its the farts turn

Igfig:

oh boy

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Nah after Orrin is the Manes.

frosty:

same thing

Igfig:

well, two of them are still adjacent to Frosty, I believe

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh, I thought he was referring to the artificers as fartificers again.

frosty:

1

frosty:

1 is

Igfig:

the one that was next to Orrin before has burned to death

frosty:

OH HANG ON

frosty:

starting its turn w/ me

frosty:

1d10 fire

Fortuna:

frosty, fire: [7] = 7

Igfig:

yeah

Igfig:

yes, it died

Varus:

no orrin i decided the little monsters are bigger farts

Igfig:

I figured it'd die without needing to roll

frosty:

die die die

Igfig:

the rest advance toward... Frosty, I guess

Igfig:

two closest only have to go 5ft

Igfig:

2d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 2d4: [4, 2] = 6

frosty:

die die die die

Varus:

i think they have 8

Igfig:

hurt but not dead

Igfig:

two more go 10

Igfig:

so that, plus:

Igfig:

2d4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 2d4: [4, 2] = 6

Igfig:

and they and all the ones after them die too

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yays.

Igfig:

scraping themselves down to nothing on your spike stones

frosty:

stupid fuckers

Igfig:

the two that made it:

Igfig:

2#1d20+2, 1d20+2

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+2, 1d20+2: [10, 9] = (12, 11); 1d20+2, 1d20+2: [12, 18] = (14, 20)

Igfig:

oh hey, that worked nicely there

Igfig:

I should do that from now on for disad

frosty:

the 20 hits

Igfig:

11 and 14 both miss

frosty:

ah

Igfig:

so I guess they're dead

frosty:

loooooooosers

Igfig:

from catching on fire

Igfig:

but would you like to roll the damage to make sure?

Igfig:

Oh wait

Igfig:

sorry, that's only on a hit

Igfig:

never mind they're still alive

frosty:

yes on contact

Igfig:

The Lord of Blades takes this opportunity to launch another barrage of magic missiles, this time at Orrin (who is harder to hit with normal weapons)

Igfig:

3d4+3 damage on Orrin

Fortuna:

Igfig, damage on Orrin: [2, 2, 1] = 8

Orrin:

Jerk.

frosty:

okay so can i backhand these demons to death now

server:

Igfig quit.

server:

Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.

frosty:

:/

Igfig:

yes you can

frosty:

1d20+8 backhand these demons to death

Fortuna:

frosty, backhand these demons to death: [5] = 13

Igfig:

two attacks with disad

Igfig:

vs AC 9

Varus:

pffftt

frosty:

oh right disad

Varus:

e z p z

frosty:

1d20+8 disad for the first

Fortuna:

frosty, disad for the first: [12] = 20

frosty:

2#1d20+8 the second

Fortuna:

frosty, the second: [8] = 16; the second: [19] = 27

frosty:

SLAPPED

Igfig:

both hits, and you're incapable of not killing them I think

frosty:

2#2d6+5

Fortuna:

frosty, 2d6+5: [3, 2] = 10; 2d6+5: [5, 6] = 16

Igfig:

indeed

Igfig:

they are both slapped clear back to Khybr

frosty:

SLAPPED DEMONS TO DEATH, CHECK

Igfig:

*Khber

Igfig:

*Khyber

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Right, so I can stop concentrating on that on my turn then, if you don't move you won't take any damage.

frosty:

then /me runs out with the others

Igfig:

if you do it'll only be like 1d4 damage in any case

server:

frosty says fuck your damage

frosty:

1d4

Fortuna:

frosty, 1d4: [1] = 1

Igfig:

yeah, so

Igfig:

okay

Varus:

guys i just played a really great match as megaman

Varus:

just thought you should know

Igfig:

artificers up next?

Varus:

yup

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Yup, and what game?

Varus:

the shitaficers

Varus:

super smash bros

Igfig:

Question: are Orrin and Arryn adjacent to each other?

frosty:

"OH HEY WANDMEN REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU ID BLOW UP AND THEN I DID THAT WAS FUN LETS TO IT AGAIN"

Orrin:

I doubt it.

Orrin:

I mean I guess I'm wherever you put me, but I'm trying to be the first one to the LoB.

Arryn:

yeah Orrin wouldnt make that mistake i think

Arryn:

being too close when they doing area attacks

Igfig:

I remember you were catching up to her, but I guess you don't have to be adjacent

Igfig:

then I suppose

frosty:

i am p close to Orrin tho, like not dead on but close

Varus:

guys

Varus:

maybe dont go right up to him

Varus:

cause

Varus:

somethins coming on this turn

Blaze_Half-Elf:

(It's a certain 5th level spell Varus is fond of)

Varus:

(actually it isnt)

frosty:

thunderboom?

Varus:

(close though)

Varus:

its

Igfig:

okay, one of them casts Grease under Orrin

Varus:

A LEVEL 5 THUNDER

Varus:

NO ITS NOT THATD BE STUPID

Igfig:

make a Dex save Orrin

Orrin:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Orrin, 1d20+4: [13] = 17

Igfig:

you remain standing, congrats

Orrin:

can I slide awesomely instead?

Igfig:

sure

Orrin:

Surf into battle?

Igfig:

no speed boost though

Orrin:

Orrin surfs into battle.

Igfig:

it's just a 10 ft. square

Igfig:

the other one casts Scorching Ray at Arryn

Orrin:

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNjUxMDAyMzUyNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDE4MTMyMQ@@._V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_AL_.jpg

Arryn:

yo

Orrin:

It looks like that.

Igfig:

except it's not scorching... they seem to have prepared a variant called Freezing Ray instead

Igfig:

that deals cold damage

Orrin:

http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/1867262/600full-chairman-of-the-board-poster.jpg

Orrin:

Since the first one didn't work.

frosty:

dicks

Igfig:

actually yeah, Frosty's visible now isn't he? Should cast it at Frosty instead

Igfig:

Frosty has a slightly lower AC

frosty:

hey now you said Arryn

Arryn:

shhh

Igfig:

3#1d20+4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+4: [15] = 19; 1d20+4: [13] = 17; 1d20+4: [14] = 18

Igfig:

6d6 cold damage

Fortuna:

Igfig, cold damage: [6, 6, 4, 5, 4, 1] = 26

Varus:

ouch

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Oh dear.

Varus:

hey

Varus:

ben

Varus:

want me

Varus:

to shield that

Varus:

;_

Varus:

;)

frosty:

"UP YOURS"

Igfig:

you're not vulnerable though

Igfig:

so it's not doubled

Igfig:

which is lucky

Varus:

i coooooooooould

Varus:

give you a nice +4 to ac

Varus:

if you ask me to

Igfig:

uh Varus, shield only affects yourself

Varus:

shhhhhhhhhh

frosty:

do it

Igfig:

also, it's +5

frosty:

fucking try

Varus:

i have it as

Varus:

+4 and affects allies as a reaction

Igfig:

yes but that's the playtest version

Varus:

that was the playtest though

Varus:

ill change it

Varus:

ok

Varus:

so blaze's trn?

Igfig:

Indeed it is

Varus:

NOPE

Igfig:

oh actually wait

Varus:

?

frosty:

??

Arryn:

???

Igfig:

LoB uses his second legendary action to let one of the artificers make a cantrip attack as a reaction

Blaze_Half-Elf:

????

Varus:

i thought you said that last one was his last

Igfig:

don't think so

Varus:

you def did

Blaze_Half-Elf:

That last one was his first though, why would he only have one?

Varus:

to get the lil fart to attack

Igfig:

he gets three per turn, and MM takes two

Igfig:

that was last round

Varus:

per TURN

Varus:

dang

Varus:

ok

Igfig:

er, per round

Igfig:

not per turn

Varus:

oh

Varus:

ok

Varus:

GOD

Varus:

still

Varus:

so whats the cantrip then

Igfig:

Ray of Frost, at Arryn

Igfig:

1d20+4

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+4: [5] = 9

Igfig:

it misses

Varus:

lmao

Arryn:

miiiissssss

Varus:

l m a o

Varus:

now is it blaze's turn?

Igfig:

and now it's whoever else's turn

Igfig:

yes

Varus:

blaze

Varus:

EXCEPT ITS NOT

Varus:

remember when i delayed my move

Arryn:

?

Igfig:

yes

Varus:

now that everyones gone ill move out of the cloud

Igfig:

you hop on pop

Varus:

cause its safe

Varus:

for the shy varus to come out of its den

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Right, so I stop concentrating on the spike thing and lift up the staff then, yar.

Varus:

if it sees its shadow and flees that means there is another month of ASS KICKING

Varus:

so i moved up to the others

Arryn:

dont pull your dagger again that was lame

Varus:

??

Arryn:

against the juggernaut

Varus:

????????????

Arryn:

nm

Varus:

oook

Blaze_Half-Elf:

And should I cast a spell again and then transform or should I transform and do an attack... if I can reach, hmmm...

Arryn:

you did something lame

Blaze_Half-Elf:

How far away are the Lord of Blades and the artificers?

Varus:

OH YEAH I REMEMBER

Varus:

that was great

Varus:

60 feet i thought

Igfig:

they're 60 feet from the edge of the cloud roughly

Varus:

turn into a dinosaur and slam into them

Arryn:

i guess it makes sense you wouldnt remember cause of all the lame things youve done they all blur

Igfig:

actually from the edge I guess 50

Varus:

remember to heat metal the lord

Varus:

exactly ben

Blaze_Half-Elf:

Darn, I think they are just 5 feet out of reach then. Oh maybe they are in range then, yar.

Blaze_Half-Elf:

So yeah, hey guys.

Varus:

yaaaas?

Varus:

YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Did you know Ankylosaurus are Huge in this game?

frosty:

can you cast spells as a animal

Varus:

wait

Varus:

huge??

Varus:

no thats level 18 ben

Varus:

also wow

Varus:

so you take up

Varus:

most of the street

Varus:

well no

Varus:

but youre 16x16 right

Igfig:

15 ft across

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

15x15, yar.

Varus:

oh ok

frosty:

oh hey i can push you!

Varus:

thatd be rad

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

And I go stompy charging ahead, and my trail has a reach of 10 feet, so I think I can hit someone this turn then? Speed of 30, my space taken is longer, yar.

Varus:

ben didnt get to do much pushing this capaign u_u

Arryn:

where is the goddam king army

Varus:

really far back

Varus:

rounds are roughly 6 seconds

Varus:

to march an army here

frosty:

i pushed so much

Varus:

would take an hour

Igfig:

yeah, you got +10 size, and then +10 reach, and moved 30

frosty:

i pushed the lob

Igfig:

that is just enough

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Also as per usual, flame motifs and stuff, and the big clubby tail end is leaving a trail of those little embers that float up when you push a fire around.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Sweet.

Varus:

neato

Igfig:

I guess you're like doing a spinning kick

frosty:

i pushed the giant roboman

Igfig:

except you're an ankylosaurus

Igfig:

nice

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Yar, it is a big brutal tail swing.

frosty:

i pushed a fucking giant fireball

Varus:

and yeah ben that was rad

Varus:

yup

Varus:

what else

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

On... I think one of the artificers.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Cause spellcasters are nasty.

Igfig:

running up and then planting your front legs and using the momentum to swing your tail into the artificer

frosty:

i pushed the colonal the first time

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

1d20+7

Fortuna:

Blaze_Ankylosaurus, 1d20+7: [11] = 18

Varus:

that is true!

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

+1d4 actually too.

Igfig:

The one that Arryn shot, or the other one?

Varus:

1d4

Fortuna:

Varus, 1d4: [3] = 3

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Almost forgot my own bless.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Probably the one that she shot, yar.

Orrin:

Yeah Ben is the only reason we survived the fight with the LoB.

Varus:

hell yeah

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

So 21 then, thanks Varus.

Varus:

i remember he took so much damage

Varus:

like 90

Igfig:

nice

Varus:

90 whole damage

Igfig:

yeah, that was a crazy time

Orrin:

Well, it was more that he resisted everything.

Varus:

yeah

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

4d6+4 and make a strength saving throw.

Fortuna:

Blaze_Ankylosaurus, and make a strength saving throw.: [6, 3, 4, 6] = 23

Varus:

it was great

Orrin:

I can take 90 damage, but I would've taken it twice as fast.

Varus:

luv u ben

Igfig:

ben is really hard to kill

frosty:

u no it

Igfig:

1d20 Str save

Fortuna:

Igfig, Str save: [19] = 19

Arryn:

aww thanks guys

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Darn, he made the save.

Varus:

hey blaze

Varus:

how high up is your head

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Oh right, forgot the fire damage.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

1d4

Fortuna:

Blaze_Ankylosaurus, 1d4: [3] = 3

Igfig:

that artificer is very close to dead though

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

And 3 fire damage.

Igfig:

oh wait, they're dead

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

And I'll be honest I'm not sure how big I am height wise.

Igfig:

yeah, just dead

Igfig:

smashed flat

Varus:

igfig how high is blaze's head

Igfig:

uh

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Like, I think you guys can fit under me, but if you jumped up you could probably grab on.

Arryn:

8

Igfig:

probably about head height?

Varus:

oh really?

Igfig:

or a bit lower

Varus:

i figured he was more like a trex

Varus:

basically i wanted to know if hed be above cloudkill

Varus:

which is 20 feet high

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Ankylosauruses are nothing like a t-rex, yar.

Varus:

more like ankelsaures

frosty:

he is 15x15

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

My head would be in the right height, but!

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

My club has reach, I'm not adjacent.

Igfig:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/22/Ankylozaur_(Ankylosaurus)_-_JuraPark_Baltow_(1).JPG

Igfig:

whoops

Varus:

nice one

Igfig:

that link doesn't work right

Varus:

gyazo i

Varus:

t

Orrin:

Fun fact.

Orrin:

Ankylosaurus is my favorite dinosaur.

Varus:

noice bruh

Orrin:

This concludes Fun Facts with Erik, have a nice day.

Varus:

hmmm

Varus:

mine isssss

Varus:

either the classic raptor

Varus:

or a pterodactyl

frosty:

mine too, Orrin!

Igfig:

just copy paste the whole link

Igfig:

anyway

Orrin:

Pterodactlys aren't dinosaurs, GET LIKE ME SON

Arryn:

and mine!

Arryn:

^5

frosty:

^5

Varus:

oh hey its that guy from land before time

Varus:

its kinda cute

Varus:

anyways

Orrin:

SPIKE

Varus:

my turn?

Varus:

YEAH

Orrin:

HIS NAME IS SPIKE GOD DAMMIT

Igfig:

Varus turn!

frosty:

SPIIIKE

Varus:

I HAVENT SEEN LBT IN 15 YEARS

Varus:

ok

Varus:

well

Varus:

since im with everyon

Varus:

e

Varus:

i gueeesssss

Varus:

ill cast cloudkill at the lord

frosty:

15?

Varus:

horrifying acid gas spews out of my hands at him and the cloud forms right on the fuckass

frosty:

arent you like 13

Varus:

im

Varus:

20

frosty:

w/e

Varus:

:C

Varus:

in fact

Varus:

since i can choose where it spawns

Varus:

im going to spawn it so its like this

Igfig:

right on, Varus

Orrin:

I haven't seen it since I was probably 10, but I REMEMBER HIS NAME.

Varus:

( - ) <----- varus

Arryn:

spawn it in his face

Varus:

so he's the dash

Varus:

and it moves 10 feet every turn

Orrin:

Make it come out of his butt.

Varus:

so i get the maximum fuckassery on him

Varus:

aka 4 turns

Varus:

of

frosty:

i havent seen it since last year

Varus:

CON SAVE

Orrin:

Make it come out of MY butt.

Arryn:

me too!

frosty:

Arryn we are like the same person

Igfig:

uh, if you cast it like that you'll probably hit yourself

Arryn:

<3

Varus:

nope

Varus:

I have sculpt spell

Igfig:

because it's 40 ft. diameter

Igfig:

ah, heh

Varus:

level+1 creatures to succeed

Varus:

so we're all save

Varus:

but fuck the lord and the fartifacer

Igfig:

okay

Varus:

so both of them roll con

Igfig:

1d20+7 LoB Con save

Fortuna:

Igfig, LoB Con save: [16] = 23

Varus:

dang

Igfig:

1d20+2 artificer Con

Fortuna:

Igfig, artificer Con: [12] = 14

Varus:

2d6 lord damage turn 1

Fortuna:

Varus, lord damage turn 1: [2, 1] = 3

Varus:

5d6 artificer damage turn 1

Fortuna:

Varus, artificer damage turn 1: [6, 4, 2, 3, 2] = 17

Igfig:

eh?

Igfig:

dude

Varus:

he takes half if he succeeds

Igfig:

it's 5d8

Igfig:

and you just halve the total

Varus:

oh

Varus:

ok

Varus:

2#5d8 lord and fart

Fortuna:

Varus, lord and fart: [5, 1, 1, 7, 8] = 22; lord and fart: [4, 1, 4, 2, 2] = 13

Orrin:

Terrible.

Orrin:

Just terrible.

Varus:

11 on the lord

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

You only roll once too.

Varus:

and 13 on the artificer

Igfig:

you only have to roll once

Varus:

GOD

Igfig:

so 22 and 11

Orrin:

Yeah you just roll and that's what they all take.

Varus:

okay then

Orrin:

Get your shit together, Waffle.

frosty:

dammit waffle

Varus:

the last time i used cloudkill, theonly time, was when everything was multipled by 5 million

Igfig:

The artificer is bloodied

Arryn:

smdh

Varus:

i didnt pay attention to the numbers

Orrin:

Oh yeah I forgot about that. It was pretty rad, though.

Varus:

IT WAS

Varus:

and thats my turn

Varus:

no wait

Varus:

i message the lord

Igfig:

LoB hardly cares though

Orrin:

that whole battle was pretty boss.

Arryn:

your welcome

Varus:

"thats what we all smell when we're around you, take a shower plz"

Orrin:

I challenged a robot to a rock-off and then killed him with my bare hands.

Igfig:

haha

Varus:

and now its his turn actually

Igfig:

and it's the LoB's turn

Igfig:

uh, hmm

Orrin:

Orrin yells at him "U smel nerd"

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

So many options.

frosty:

"LOL LORD OF BLAZE FARTED"

Igfig:

how are you all arranged? Who's in front

Varus:

blaze

Orrin:

I believe Blaze is now the closest.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

I think I'm just kinda, above everyone, yar.

Varus:

then orrin and arryn are back a bit

Orrin:

With me behind him and Arryn behidn me.

Varus:

and im between blaze and the others

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

I got within a 10 foot reach of the artificer I flattened.

frosty:

cause im gonna burn him see

frosty:

lord of blaze

Varus:

420

Orrin:

They call me the Lord of Blaze cuz my kush so doooope

frosty:

i am close to Orrin somewhere

Varus:

i think youre basically just with orrin

Varus:

like beside him

Igfig:

okay, hmm

frosty:

beside sure

Varus:

LORD BLAZE VARUS OTHERS

Varus:

basically that

Igfig:

so you sculpted your spell to avoid all the party, right? So there are some holes in the cloud

Varus:

it fills gaps

Orrin:

I think he just auto-passed us.

Varus:

cloudkill specifically

Varus:

yeah

Orrin:

Because he can choose people to save.

Varus:

the cloud went around them

Igfig:

and the holes presumably drift at the same rate as the rest of the cloud, right?

Varus:

nope

Varus:

cloudkill fills all holes

Varus:

so it went completely around them

Orrin:

They wouldn't if we were moving in them.

Varus:

like a safety buble

frosty:

i dont breath i dont need saving

Varus:

then reconverged

Varus:

it effects people who dont have to breath too ben'

Orrin:

I think we ruled it has a corrosive effect as well, Frosty.

Varus:

<>

Varus:

it did that ig

Orrin:

Else it wouldn't hurt the Lord.

Varus:

around us

frosty:

i dont corrode either

Varus:

you still take damage

Varus:

it specifically says

Orrin:

You can still take acid damage, so for the purposes of the game you corrode.

Igfig:

Yeah, Varus researched a version that deals acid instead of poison

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

In the text it says as cloudkill moves it fills in all gaps and spaces, like flowing around corners are going down grates.

Varus:

exactly

frosty:

fire +acid = cool fire colors

frosty:

bring it

Varus:

its gas, gas fills the space of its container

Orrin:

So as we run through it it would just have holes flowing through it.

Varus:

Creatures are affected even if they hold their breath or don’t need to breathe.

Varus:

" "

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

itd be really badass

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Yeah, it is magic that he is exempting us from with his magic, yar.

Orrin:

I mean that's true, but it IS magical gas you created out of thin air so it can't be totally assumed it behaves normally. In this case it will, but "well duh" is kind of out the window when it comes to shooting magic flying acid at robots.

Varus:

i guess yeah

Varus:

but it does fill holes and gaps and stuff

Varus:

so point is, itd reconverge

frosty:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqgFMQlKLg8

Varus:

like that

frosty:

that should happen

Orrin:

Basically, it looks like that scene in Jurassic Park 2 where the raptors are chasing them in that field.

frosty:

40 seconds i

Igfig:

well we should figure out whether this is a matter of there being holes in the cloud where the other people are, or if they just somehow aren't affected

Varus:

it says right in the spell

Varus:

i used sculpt spell to make it miss them

Varus:

and then it reconvenes once it passes them

Igfig:

see, I kinda want the LoB to try and jump onto Blaze to avoid the cloud

Orrin:

That would totally work.

Igfig:

so the question is, will that work or not

Varus:

he can do that yeah

Igfig:

aright, awesome

Varus:

because the cloud is currently avoiding blaze

Varus:

that IS awesome

Igfig:

in that case

Varus:

the MURDEROUD ROBOT GENERAL IS RIDING A DINOSAUR

Orrin:

Blaze now just roll over and smush him.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

I knew someone was going to try and use me a platform, I was just hoping it'd be party members.

Orrin:

Oh man.

Igfig:

1d20+8 athletics to jump onto Blaze

Fortuna:

Igfig, athletics to jump onto Blaze: [2] = 10

Orrin:

I am gonna fight this motherfucker on the back of a charging dinosaur.

Orrin:

What a lil bitch.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

(Oh snap)

Igfig:

too bad, I really want to do this

Igfig:

crap, what are his aspects again

Orrin:

Honestly, I think you've let us get away with enough shit this campaign to just say he does it.

Arryn:

"dumb dick"

Arryn:

^aspect

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Maybe you can do it, but I get an attack of opportunity?

Orrin:

Weakness is an abomination

Orrin:

Some other stuff.

Orrin:

Oooh I like that.

Varus:

blaze is a good idea

Orrin:

Blaze has a chance to knock him off course with a tail whip.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

In which case I might just smack him down, but yar.

Varus:

theres plenty of spikes and stuff to grab onto as well

Igfig:

oh yeah, weakness is an abomination

Igfig:

thank you

Varus:

we are helping the lord succeed

Varus:

ig i say advantage from the spikes

Varus:

easy climbing

Orrin:

Yeah but in a really awesome way.

Igfig:

he is not going to be so weak that he can't jump onto a little old dinosaur

Igfig:

1d20+8 athletics

Fortuna:

Igfig, athletics: [11] = 19

Igfig:

there we go

Varus:

that works

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Nah, he is jumping right now though I think, so if anything spikes would be not so good then.

Varus:

and now he has 1 fate point if any left

Varus:

since we condemned him before

Orrin:

On my turn, can blaze pop me up with his tail so I fly up all Jack-Sparrow-esque?

Varus:

compelled*

Igfig:

except he totally accepted your compel

Orrin:

Yeah he gets a point for accepting the compel.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Yar, he came charging right for us as fast as he could.

Igfig:

I think?

Igfig:

yeah

Orrin:

Yeah he did.

Orrin:

But seriously. Jack Sparrow dinosaur tail-leap.

Igfig:

he moved toward you as fast as he possibly could

Igfig:

in theory, he should have gotten an extra FP for that

Igfig:

except I don't think it works that way for NPCs

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

But I forget if you can have more then your max anyways.

Igfig:

right

Igfig:

you can, yes

Igfig:

he hops up on your back

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Nifty news, yar, oh right, that's just the refresh/decay rate.

Orrin:

You can have more than your max or I can ride a dinosaur?

Igfig:

both

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

All the above?

Orrin:

Baller.

frosty:

boss fight on a dinosaur

Igfig:

which, first of all, deals you 1d8 damage just for being in sustained physical contact with a guy covered in swords

Orrin:

He has a turtle shell.

Orrin:

I think he'd be fine.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Though I kinda want to shake him off, I'd finally get to use that Untamed, Unbound aspect for something.

Varus:

yeah

Varus:

HELL YEAH

Varus:

throw him back into the cloud

Varus:

my other option is reforging the cloud into you

Varus:

which ill absolutely do

Varus:

so figure something out before then

Orrin:

I can also go up there and knock him off, unless you really want the shaking.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

I'm not sure if you can do that with it but I suppose you have fate points.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

We'll see how it goes, yar.

Orrin:

Well, I'm up next so I kinda gotta decide now.

Orrin:

I don't think I'm really needed on the fartfacer, though.

Arryn:

roll over on him

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

I'll assist you to try and get you on board on your turn, if it doesn't work then other stuff.

Igfig:

and then he thrusts his triple blade between two of your plates, as deep as he can go

Varus:

OUCH

Varus:

OK

Varus:

someone fuck this guy up

Arryn:

roll over

Igfig:

2#1d20+8

Fortuna:

Igfig, 1d20+8: [5] = 13; 1d20+8: [20] = 28

Varus:

OH NOOOO

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

One crit, other is a miss.

Igfig:

oh noo

Igfig:

that

Igfig:

is

Igfig:

lessee

Igfig:

4d8+4+2d6

Fortuna:

Igfig, 4d8+4+2d6: [2, 1, 8, 5, 2, 5] = 27

Orrin:

You've gotta get some serious hp buff from turning into a 15-foot-tall dinosaur though, right?

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Oh yeah.

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Ankylosaurus comes with 68 hp.

Arryn:

now roll over on him

Orrin:

It is very far from Blaze's turn.

Igfig:

and that was his turn

Igfig:

who's next?

Orrin:

Arryn, actually, I forgot about her.

Orrin:

Arryn go kill that fartface.

Arryn:

yeah i go kill that fartface

Arryn:

hmmm are axes good on warforge

Igfig:

they're decent

Orrin:

You'd think they'd be better than swords.

Orrin:

Slashing is certainly not going to do much.

Arryn:

hammers?

Orrin:

I've had good luck with bludgeoning.

Arryn:

ok

Varus:

yell yeah

Varus:

crumple his skull

Igfig:

he's covered in adamantine armour, so either way really

Arryn:

hammer!

Igfig:

axe or hammer could both work

Arryn:

its a hammer

Orrin:

Are axes piercing or bludgeoning?

Igfig:

right!

Igfig:

axes are slashing too actually

Orrin:

That seems wrong.

Igfig:

they didn't want to differentiate slicing and hacking

Orrin:

I mean it's not a spear, but it's much more like that in effect than like... a cutlass.

Arryn:

HAMMER IT IS

Orrin:

I guess they do have to limit it to SOMETHING.

Arryn:

1d20+8 hammer

Fortuna:

Arryn, hammer: [1] = 9

Igfig:

oh no

Orrin:

Wump wump.

Arryn:

i drop the hammer

Igfig:

You swing at him

Orrin:

Fate point it.

Orrin:

It's your Dynamic Weapon.

Igfig:

and he just reaches up and stops your hammer with his hand

Arryn:

it is!

Igfig:

just graps its head

Orrin:

Oh man you could RP that in a super awesome way now, too.

Arryn:

I AM THE BEARER OF THE DYNAMIC BLADE

Arryn:

"THATS MY SWORD"

Igfig:

THAT IS A HAMMER NOT A SWORD

Blaze_Ankylosaurus:

Also wait, I think Igfig thinks she is going for Lord of Blades but I think she is going for the artficier unless artificers have adamantine armour too.

Orrin:

That's my fuckin' hammer.

Igfig:

oh shit

Igfig:

the artificer

Orrin:

Oh yeah he's after the fartface Ig.

Orrin:

But it is still a 1.

Arryn:

yeah

Igfig:

yeah I misread that

Orrin:

But this fate point is gonna be GREAT

Orrin:

BEN.

Orrin:

BEN DO A THING.

Orrin:

RP IT.

Arryn:

ok

Varus:

JUST KILL THE ARTIFICIER

Arryn:

i am gonna do i thing

Varus:

ok

Varus:

do something cool

Varus:

turn it into a spear to imbed it in his hand

Igfig:

okay, so the artificer actually catches it on a shield of some sort I guess

Varus:

and use it as a pole vault over him

Varus:

to kick him off the dino

Orrin:

I was more thinking have it shift around his hand and reform beyond it.

Orrin:

And just whack him in the face.

Arryn:

can i do another attack then fate point the first

Orrin:

He IS still a robot Ig, I 'd think he could open-palm block a 1.

Arryn:

or does it not work like that