Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.
Ailo: yayyy
benjamzee: attack by saying things that dont mean anything
handofevil: there you are fortuna
benjamzee: how i roll
handofevil: 1d20
Fortuna: handofevil, 1d20: [20] = 20
handofevil: I am saving that
Ailo: wow
Ailo: no too bad
handofevil: For when you are attacked 30 dragons
Ailo: nope
Ailo: player over ride
handofevil: lolnope
Ailo: yup
Ailo: i think we're all ready
Ailo: this time 5 real
handofevil:  /kick waffle
Ailo: im not even waffle
handofevil: ALRIGHT
Log: argh am I not a real
benjamzee: wheeeee
benjamzee: i can kill people through talking nonsense this is the best character ever
handofevil: We begin our story in they city of Kurn where you have been summoned the steward of Sorcerer-King Keltis
handofevil: summoned by the steward*
Log: Right
Log: actually maybe wait for Erik
Log: like 10 mins
Ailo: ?
Ailo: how do you know
handofevil: Your summons stated that the King had fallen deathly ill and that your presence was requested immediately in his castle. 
handofevil: You've since arrived in the city and have spent the night at the fanciest inn, The Empress' Wineskin.
Log: yay
Log: I avail myself of all amenities
handofevil: You have an appointment with the sorcerer-king's steward in an hour.
Log: especially the bidet
handofevil: YOU MAY NOW BEGIN YOUR ROLEPLAYING
handofevil: Says a loud voice from nowhere
Log: although water is rare here, so it's just a spray of sand up your butt
Ailo: "well it's better than sleeping outside"
Ailo: I lay on the bed determined to make it seem awful
Ailo: "terrible, just terrible, id almost prefer outside"
handofevil: Roll a bluff check. You have velvet sheets and a soft cushy matress
Ailo: oh uh okay
Ailo: 1d20+18
Fortuna: Ailo, 1d20+18: [6] = 24
Log: "I believe you. You should go sleep on the balcony.
Log: And I will push your bed next to mine and sleep in both.
Ailo: "I said ALMOST, it's still better than the possibility of being eaten by wolves while im unconscious"
Ailo: "Why do we have to save the sorcerer king anyways, if he dies its one less emperor to worry about in this infinite war"
Log: "If wolves do appear, they will have to go through this room to get to the balcony. Can you really afford to take that risk?"
Ailo: "That.... is true"
Log: "also what's a wolf"
Ailo: roll diplomacy 
Log: 1d20+12
Fortuna: Log, 1d20+12: [14] = 26
Ailo: ahaha
Ailo: "You're right"
Ailo: "it's safer on the balcony"
Ailo: "You just take that other mattress ill take this blanket"
Log: "That seems fair."
handofevil: You step outside and see a sand storm on the horizon
Log: I take all four beds, push them into the corner, and lie on th corner where they meet.
Ailo: "I take it back gimme"
Ailo: I shove you off
Log: "Too late."
Log: My fortutude is 30
Ailo: "sleep with one eye open"
Log: can you even hit that with a bull rush
Ailo: nope
Log: hehe
Ailo: i gracefully lie on the floor
Ailo: huffing
Krom_Halftusk joined #pwot_dnd.
Ailo: "let us sleep at least before we see ~his majesty~
Log: Because I am nice though, I move over so I'm only on two beds
Ailo: yay
benjamzee: i come out of nowhere to join the fun
handofevil: They've kindly provided a soft cushy rug for you to sleep on
Log: mine and Ailo's
Ailo: I sleep on the ground anyways just to spite you
Ailo: wow 
Ailo: w o w
benjamzee comes out of nowhere
handofevil: You here a knock on the door
Log: maybe you can convince on of the others to share with you
handofevil: HEAR
handofevil: YOU HEAR A KNOCK
Krom_Halftusk: This is delf 4e right?
Ailo: I refuse to get it
Ailo: yeah
Ailo: "fuck the door"
handofevil: No this is Shadowrun
benjamzee rolls out of bed
Krom_Halftusk: "Who even invited a door?"
benjamzee: 1d20 out of bed 
Fortuna: benjamzee, out of bed : [12] = 12
Ailo: yeah make ben get it
Log: oh hey, I forgot the red-text convention
handofevil: The innkeeper opens the door
Log: that was a good convention
benjamzee opens door
Ailo: "wow what if we were fucking in here have some respect"
handofevil: "My lords, sorry to bother you. Two more have arrived with your summons"
Ailo: ben slams the door in her face
handofevil: Krom and ben step in the room
Log: what
Ailo: wait what
Log: if Ben is in here
Log: and Ben is out there
Ailo: THEN WHOSE FLYING THE PLANE
handofevil: Oh was ben already here
Log: ^5
handofevil: I thought he had just gotten here
handofevil: Krom steps in the room them
handofevil: The innkeeper shuts the door behind him with a bow
Log: Well met
Log: whoever you are
Log: who is krom
Ailo: impressive use of archery
Krom_Halftusk: Erik.
Log: Yes I know, I mean
Krom_Halftusk: "Well met, then."
handofevil: (I don't know if you guys have been adventuring for a while together or just met so just roll with whatever you want)
Krom_Halftusk: A figure in a long cloak enters the room.
Log: who IS Krom Halftusk
Log: his hopes, his dreams
Krom_Halftusk: He removes the hood to reveal a half-orc's face.
Log: gasp
Ailo: "We haven't even gotten to be forced to accept this mission and they are already sending more guys to join us"
Krom_Halftusk: You see a short length of chain attached to a manacle on his wrist.
Log: ah, a goth
Ailo: "great and a prisoner too"
Krom_Halftusk: "Not for many years. I wear it to remind me."
Krom_Halftusk: "The only chain i wear will be one of my own choosing.
Log: "Good for you. Taking ownership of your own destiny. Dominate yourself."
Log: "but not in a sex way or anything"
Krom_Halftusk: "Well, sometimes."
Ailo: "uuuUUUUGGHH LET'S JUST SLEEEEEP
Ailo: "You always do this, big mission hey lets stay up all night chatting about the mission"
handofevil: You hear a knock on the door again
Ailo: "ionstead of doing the fucking mission{
Log: is it sleep time or is it go to the castle time
Ailo: "H O L Y S H I T 
Ailo: I get up and slam open the door
Log: that poor inkeeper
Ailo: 1d20+13 indimidate
Fortuna: Ailo, indimidate: [11] = 24
handofevil: It's the innkeeper
handofevil: "My lord! I-I-I apologize!
handofevil: It's just that..."
handofevil: "That there are two guards here to escort you to your meeting."
handofevil: He bows low
Ailo: isnt it the night before
benjamzee: "HELLO!"
Log: I guess it is the next day
Ailo: welp
handofevil: handofevil	You've since arrived in the city and have spent the night at the fanciest inn, The Empress' Wineskin. 16:10	Log	yay 16:11	handofevil	You have an appointment with the sorcerer-king's steward in an hour.
Ailo: oh
Ailo: oh we already slept
handofevil: lolnope
Ailo: maybe ailo is just tired
handofevil: You guys stayed up all night
Ailo: great
benjamzee: "HI!"
handofevil: Talking about the mission
Ailo: great
Ailo: "Fine bring them to us"
handofevil: You hear heavy boots stomping up the stairs
benjamzee: "hows it going fellas?"
handofevil: Two massive muscular guards stand with nothing but a solid gold jockstrap for armor and a scimitar at their waist
Krom_Halftusk: "Let's get on with it then."
handofevil: "The steward awaits."
Ailo: "more like let's get on them amirite"
Ailo: "eehhh?"
Ailo: "eeeeeeehhhhh?"
Krom_Halftusk: "hOOOOO."
Ailo: "no. ok. fine. i can be funny when i want to be but i guess my humour isnt apreciated here"
benjamzee: "nah man i appreciat you"
Log: "Right, let us be off then."
Ailo: "lead on"
Krom_Halftusk: It should be noted that krom has 9 charisma.
benjamzee: "just dont think its funny is all"
Ailo: that explains why he's so cheesy
benjamzee: what does charisma do?
handofevil: The guards lead you through the city to a massive castle that raises into the sky
benjamzee: cause i got 20
Krom_Halftusk: You're a real smooth talker.
Krom_Halftusk: People naturally want to follow you.
benjamzee: aw yeah i am
Log: also, sexy
benjamzee: ;)
handofevil: "You must go on from here. We are not allowed inside."
Log: like me
Log: we are sexy broz
benjamzee: ^5
Log: cha 20 all the way
Ailo: "Err, alright then"
Log: We go insode
Log: inside even
Ailo: i skip on into the scary castle
handofevil: The massive obsidian doors open to reveal a throne room with an empty throne. A small eladrin clad with heavily adorned robes stands beside it.
handofevil: "Welcome."
benjamzee: "yo"
Log: "I would be careful here, elves are all barbarians and thieves."
Ailo: "Well seeing as you aren't sitting on that throne i'm guess you aren't our wonderful all powerful king"
Krom_Halftusk: "What do you want from us?"
Ailo: my voice drips with sarcasm
handofevil: She glares at Log."
handofevil: "I am not an elf."
Ailo: she's a delf
handofevil: I may or may not have just choked on a cracker.
Ailo: good
handofevil: "Anyway. I trust your journey fared you well?"
Ailo: "we're tired and just walked right past attractive guards without even a wink so not really to be honest"
Igfig joined #pwot_dnd.
handofevil: "Our guards are eunuchs." 
Ailo: oh noooo
Igfig: oh boy what did I miss
handofevil: "So forgive them."
Ailo: nothing really
handofevil: Ailo found out the guards for eunuchs
handofevil: were*
Igfig: right
Ailo: whatever that is
Ailo: "lets stop beating around the bush why are we here"
handofevil: They've had their dongs cut off
handofevil: that's what it is
Ailo: oh gosh
benjamzee: "are there snacks?"
handofevil: "Straight to business then."
benjamzee: "yup"
Krom_Halftusk: "Not really."
handofevil: "You're here because our king had fallen deathly ill."
handofevil: "Not just physically ill, but magically ill. He is in a coma."
Ailo: "Great, cool, amazing, whats that have to do with us"
Krom_Halftusk: "Had? So he's all better now? Great! Well done, everybody."
benjamzee: "whats this to do with snacks?"
Igfig: "So you're saying the kingdom needs a strong leader to rule it in his stead? Thank you, I am honoured."
Ailo: i prick Log in the thigh with my dagger
handofevil: "Two weeks ago, he was found collapsed in his Sanctuary foaming at the mouth with magical scarring covering his entire body."
Igfig: you can't even hit my ac ailo
Ailo: its not really an attack roll
benjamzee: oh snap
Ailo: its more like just poking you through a chink
handofevil: "The grand healer saw him to his chambers and he has yet to awake from his slumber."
Igfig: no my butt ac is still too good
benjamzee: "not so grand then eh?"
handofevil: "Nothing we have done has worked. We can find no reason for his condition, which has worsened. We've contacted you for help."
benjamzee: "he's probably in on it"
Igfig: "Poor man. Does he have any heirs?"
benjamzee: delf is ignoring us all
Ailo: "now is the perfect time to reveal i am a bastard child of the king:
Ailo: "
handofevil: "With your experience and reputation in the field, we were hoping you would be able to help."
benjamzee: "reputation?"
Ailo: "What's this have to do with us at all though, the king is just a man sitting on a throne who says what we can and cannot do."
Ailo: "and if we walk over the border to a new land, suddenly its the same thing with a new king"
Ailo: "kings come and go"
handofevil: "We have more money and we can pay you."
handofevil: "Also attractive men who are not eunuchs."
Ailo: "an adventurer doesn't have much use of gold"
Ailo: "I can't bring my giant house along with me"
Ailo: what say you guys, should we kill the king instead and become rulers
handofevil: "And if you refuse, you will be buried up to the neck in the wastes."
Ailo: "So once again a king is forcing us to do his bidding"
Krom_Halftusk: "Wouldn't be the worst prison I've been in."
Ailo: "Well it looks like we don't have much of a choice"
benjamzee: "so like, i dont like being buried right"
Ailo: does anyone have telepathy by any chance
benjamzee: "lets just do this ting"
Krom_Halftusk: "Very well."
benjamzee: do i have telepathy
Ailo: look at your sheet
Log joined #pwot_dnd.
Ailo: i dont think i gave you telepathy though
Igfig quit.
benjamzee: you made it
Ailo: you have telepathy with your familiar but thats it
Log: Hey guys, I don't know what just happened
benjamzee: oh shit right i have a fire lizard
Ailo: i kept saying no to their prizes until they said do it or we'll imprison you for life
Log: I was putting in some headphones
benjamzee: i should talk to it more
Log: and I plugged the pin into the microphone slot
Ailo: and OOC i said lets kill the king and become our own rulers of this kingdom
Log: and my computer shut down
benjamzee: his name is toby
Log: and the power button stopped working
Log: until I took out the battery and out it back in
handofevil: You must have waffle's computer
Ailo: only the touch pad is broken on my computer
benjamzee: "hey toby, we're gonna save the king!"
Ailo: also its still in hamilton currently
Ailo: its name isnt toby
Log: oh, I bet I know how to fix your touch pad
benjamzee: "i dont know, king of somewhere though"
Log: the cable prolly got unpugged
Ailo: [5/31/2014 7:26:14 PM] Emily Waffle: ben just got a familiar [5/31/2014 7:26:19 PM] Emily Waffle: so its going to be a corgi of course [5/31/2014 7:39:22 PM] Emily Waffle: its named j/900i99j9ulo,
benjamzee: "right?"
Log: unpluged even
handofevil: Ben has a firecorgi
benjamzee: named toby
Ailo: its named j/900i99j8ulo
Ailo: or
Ailo: jayninulo
benjamzee: toby
Krom_Halftusk: For short.
Ailo: I MADE THE CHARACTE RI GET TO NAME THE FIRE CORGI
benjamzee: josh maybe
handofevil: "That fire corgi you have is adorable. Is his name toby? He looks like a toby."
benjamzee: "it IS"
benjamzee: "pet him, he doesnt bite"
Ailo: he just burns your hand
benjamzee: shhh
Ailo: okay so igfig what do you say to my idea about ktaking over the kingdom
Log: "So, where do we start? I imagine the king has a backlog of decrees that we'll need to sign."
Log: yes, obviously
Log: that's why we're here Ailo
handofevil: "No no. I've been handling it."
Ailo: of cours
Ailo: okay
Ailo: so we need to think of a way
Ailo: it would cause an uprising if we just straight up assassinated everyone
Ailo: we need to be careful
Ailo: and sneaky
Ailo: first we need to make sure the king dies
Log: "I don't suppose we could take a look at your work, friend... do you have a name?"
Ailo: i reccomend going along with their plan until we find whatever will cure the king
handofevil: "I suggest you start with either the King's sanctuary or The King himself."
Ailo: then poisoning it
Log: "Just to make sure you really are doing as well as you say you are."
Ailo: once the king is dead and they are in disarray we can work something out
handofevil: "My name Araora Moonshadow"
handofevil: "And no."
Log: "What kind of a name is that even."
handofevil: "The name of an Eladrin."
benjamzee: "my name is benjamzee"
benjamzee: "the name of an me"
Ailo: okay so whats our plan
Ailo: see to the king first?
benjamzee: yes
Ailo: since we;re already here
Ailo: alright lets head in then
Log: fine yes let's see the king
Ailo: "We'd like to see the king, to get an idea about his condition"
Ailo: krom is deeply confused by all the smooth talking
handofevil: "Very well. If you'll follow me please."
Ailo: we follow him
handofevil: The Eladrin takes out a wand and creates a doorway in the air.
handofevil: Also she
Ailo: right
handofevil: "Enter please. It will close behind me."
Ailo: "interesting, what kind of spell is that?"
handofevil: "A doorway spell. As you obviously saw, this is a massive castle."
Log: we enter
handofevil: "This is so I don't have to walk down 5000 flights of stairs to get where I need to go"
handofevil: Araora enters behind you and the doorway disappears
benjamzee: "how do you stay fit then?"
Krom_Halftusk: I used to walk 5,000 flights of stairs every morning.
Krom_Halftusk: Excellent time to focus one's mind.
handofevil: You see a withered old man lying in a bed. His face is deathly pale. His veins stick out and glow bright blue. Magical scarring covers his entire being. He is surrounded by 6 healers.
handofevil: "As you can see. He is not doing well."
Ailo: are the healers constantly casting a spell?
Ailo: like sustaining him 
Ailo: or are they trying to find out how to cure him
handofevil: Pretty much
Log: Do any of us have Heal or Arcana
benjamzee: "hello!"
Ailo: ben does
handofevil: Caring for  him pretty much
Ailo: ben has arcana
handofevil: Taking care of his bodily needs and such
Ailo: like poop
handofevil: yes
handofevil: like poop
benjamzee: "how goes it, kingman?"
Ailo: ben check out the scarring on this guy
Log: "yeah, it's pretty crazy"
benjamzee: 1d20+20 i think
Fortuna: benjamzee, i think: [19] = 39
Ailo: welp
handofevil: Wow
handofevil: These are the marks of a demon possession spell gone wrong Ben. 
Ailo: PLEASE dont say that out loud ben
Ailo: that is some serious leverage for our coup
benjamzee: "your king was improperly possesed by a demon mates"
Log: "gasp"
handofevil: hahahahahaha
handofevil: You hear an audible gasp
handofevil: "Are you sure?"
Ailo: fuck
benjamzee: "pretty damn"
Ailo: Ailo covertly rubs her temples
handofevil: "Do you know of any cure?"
Log: "This man has been consorting with demons! As a representative of the holy order of people who serve the sorcerer-kings, I am hereby placing him under arrest."
Log slaps some manacles on the unconscious man's wrists
Ailo: a job well done
Log: 1d20+12 religion
Fortuna: Log, religion: [4] = 16
handofevil: Log is suddenly blasted onto the wall with a massive ball of air
Ailo: shit
Ailo: oops
benjamzee: "no clue"
Log: I know nothing about de-demonizing people
Log shakes his head, dazed
benjamzee: "maybe try asking the demon to leave"
Log: "Charges continues to accrue. Assaulting an officer of the peace, that is."
handofevil: "He must have been summoning a demon in his sanctuary. Follow me. We must find a cure."
Ailo: one moment let me examine him closer
Ailo: " "
benjamzee: 1d20+17 diplomatically asking the demon to leave
Fortuna: benjamzee, diplomatically asking the demon to leave: [10] = 27
handofevil: No response
Ailo: I move closer to the king
Ailo: and bend over him to hide what im doing
Ailo: 1d20+19 stealth
Fortuna: Ailo, stealth: [14] = 33
handofevil: The healers look at you suspiciously
Ailo: I prick him with a poison
handofevil: The prick heals instantly
Log: what poison?
Ailo: well dang
Ailo: let me check
handofevil: "Did you find anything Ailo?"
Log: damn, that's some powerful genital reconstruction magic there
Log: i guess the king isn't jewish any more
handofevil: Well with 5 healers + a grand healer it better be
Ailo: aah everything is breaking
handofevil: Karma
handofevil: The ceiling collapses on Ailo
Ailo: it was bloodroot poison
Ailo: "hmmm interesting..."
benjamzee: "yo king what is up?"
Ailo: "I was just examining to see if the constant magical healing was causing the scars to worsen"
Ailo: 1d20+18 bluff
Fortuna: Ailo, bluff: [4] = 22
Ailo: oopsy
Krom_Halftusk: I find it pretty unlikely he was nearly possessed without noticing anything
Krom_Halftusk: "Sire, can you tell us anything at all about when you fell ill?"
benjamzee: "the king isnt talking, toby"
benjamzee: "yo is the king deaf?"
handofevil: "The king is in a coma you fool."
Krom_Halftusk: "Then you tell us about it, dick"
benjamzee: "nah toby, just the coma"
Krom_Halftusk: "Or we can just leave."
Krom_Halftusk: "When did he get sick?"
handofevil: "Then leave. The guards are waiting for you with shovels."
Log: "I suppose we can go to the sanctuary."
handofevil: "Two weeks ago."
Krom_Halftusk: Krom's lower lip draws back, revealing his tusks.
Krom_Halftusk: "I'd like to see them try to bury me."
Ailo: "When did you realize he was ill"
Log: a few seconds later probably?
Ailo: when he just instantly passed out
Log: they did describe it
handofevil: "When we found him collapsed on the floor of his sanctuary foaming at the mouth."
Ailo: "oh right"
Log: "We should examine the sanctuary."
Ailo: "Yes, let's
handofevil: Araora opens another doorway
handofevil: She holds open the door
handofevil: "If you will please."
Log: we go
handofevil: The door way closes behind her
handofevil: You are now standing in a small candle lit room
Ailo: i still think our best option is corrupting what we will use to cure him
handofevil: Papers and books are eveywhere
handofevil: In the center of the room is a white chalk pentagram
Ailo: hm
Ailo: ben should examine that too
Ailo: maybe with a history instead of arcana
Krom_Halftusk: "What a nerd."
handofevil: You hear a rustling in the back
Ailo: i draw my daggers
Log: and I will examine it with Religion again
handofevil: Flames form around the stewards arms
handofevil: "Who's there!"
handofevil: A small girl steps out from behind a bookshelf
Ailo: DEMON
Log: I ready my flail and shield
Ailo: ROLL INITIATIVE
Krom_Halftusk: Krom drops into an easy fighting stance.
Log: "Stand back everyone."
Log: "This kind of demon looks small, but they can guy tou from ten feet away."
Log: *gut you
Log: "What do you want, demon? Back to possess more peopl?"
Log: e
handofevil: The flames disappear from the stewards arms
handofevil: "Sachil! What have I told you about playing in here."
benjamzee: "yo girl"
benjamzee: "sup"
handofevil: "Lower your weapons. She is no demon."
Log: "...What is she then?"
handofevil: "A foolish little girl."
Log: "A what?"
Ailo: "same thing in my experience"
handofevil: "The sorcerer-king's heir."
Log: "Oh"
Ailo: okay so we need to kill her
Krom_Halftusk: "I like her, let's put her in charge."
Ailo: whose up for stabbing the little girl
Log looks suspiciously at the heir
benjamzee: "no toby, i dont think she's a demon either"
Log: *other heir
Ailo: of course, log is the first heir
handofevil: "He brought her back with him from one of his expeditions 6 months ago claiming he had found an heir."
handofevil: "Now Sachil, run along."
handofevil: The little girl runs out the door
Log: "What."
Log: "I am ninety percent sure that that is not how children are made."
handofevil: "I don't get it either. But it's not my job to question him."
handofevil: "What he says is."
Krom_Halftusk: "I have seen the great Southern Children Mines with my own eyes."
benjamzee: "what is your job?"
Ailo: maybe we should ask the girl if she saw anything 
Ailo: since she likes to play in here apparently
Ailo: maybe she was there when it happened
handofevil: "I am his steward. Should he die and his heir be too young, I will be the standing ruler."
Log: "Oh, really? I guess we have to head south next then. Get back to the root of the matter.:
Ailo: "before you go"
handofevil: The little girl is gone
Ailo: fuckin catch her
Ailo: a little girl isnt thwat fast
handofevil: You clearly haven't been around children waffle
Ailo: i have and longer legs make up for energy 100% of the time
Krom_Halftusk: It was the Steward.
handofevil: Good luck
Ailo: 1d20+11 CHASE DOWN THE GIRL
Fortuna: Ailo, CHASE DOWN THE GIRL: [3] = 14
Ailo: aw
benjamzee: "so, araura, what do you think about the demons?"
handofevil: You step out the door and a maze of doors, hallways, and stair cases is in front of you
handofevil: The little girl is nowhere in sight
handofevil: "I don't know. I never suspected this."
handofevil: "Is there anything you can find in here that might give a clue as to what will cure him?"
Ailo: "make sure to ask that girl if she saw anything next time you see her steward"
benjamzee: "suspect something else then?"
Ailo: well we can look around
Log: meanwhile, I make that Religion check ont he pentagram
Ailo: 1d20+12 perception sort of ruffle through the papers scattered around
Fortuna: Ailo, perception sort of ruffle through the papers scattered around: [7] = 19
Log: 1d20+12
Fortuna: Log, 1d20+12: [9] = 21
Ailo: dang flabbit
Log: and I guess I can perception too while I'm at it
benjamzee: 1d20+14 perc whatever
Fortuna: benjamzee, perc whatever: [15] = 29
Log: 1d20+15
Fortuna: Log, 1d20+15: [16] = 31
handofevil: You notice a small footprint has broken one of the lines in the pentagram.
Ailo: the girl caused it
Ailo: great
benjamzee: ah ha
Log: "Aaaaa! AAaaaaaa! AAAaaaa!"
Log: "Aaaaa"
handofevil: Log, you notice that the pentagram is used for summoning high-level demons
benjamzee: "so if we fix the line, the king can be properly possesed eh?"
Ailo: high level
Ailo: lets possess the king
Ailo: with the fire corgi
handofevil: Ben, you find an ancient tome that is different from the other ancient tomes
benjamzee: oooo
Log: "So was the king trying to possess himself then? Strange."
benjamzee: "yooooo gaurds"
benjamzee: "send this thing to the healers"
benjamzee: "its funny looking"
Log: "Wait, let's have a look at it first."
Ailo: ben be at least 50% serious
Log: what's the title
benjamzee: i love this character can i keep him
Log: exactly 51% serious
Log: yes
benjamzee: i am completely serious
Ailo: no you arent
handofevil: Anyone here understand deep speech?
Ailo: actually!
Ailo: yes I do!
Ailo:  noo wait
Ailo: not me
Ailo: ben does
benjamzee: yessss
benjamzee: i understand everything
Ailo: because he was a dune trader in the past
handofevil: Wait hold on. That was for the wrong thing hold on.
handofevil: Wait no
handofevil: That's right
handofevil: Okay
handofevil: So you understand deep speech ailo?
Ailo: no ben does
handofevil: Okay
handofevil: Ben, the title is "Summons of The Demon Lords"
handofevil: There's a book mark in the book
Log: ooh what's it say
handofevil: You open to a page with a drawing of the pentagram on the floor
benjamzee: "its called Summons of The Demon Lords"
handofevil: The page is titled
Ailo: lets assume you just tell us the things you learn
benjamzee: "hey look, theres a picture that looks like here"
handofevil: "The Death Tyrant"
benjamzee: alrigt then
benjamzee reads aloud
Krom_Halftusk: I wonder what he does.
benjamzee like a nightime story
Log tucks self in
handofevil: "The summoning of the Death Tyrant can gain the summoner unspeakable power and eternal life should they possess the will to overpower it. Failure to do so, however, comes at a terrible price."
Log: oh, I see
Ailo: welp there we go
Ailo: problem solved
Ailo: good adventure everyone
Ailo: lets kill the king
Krom_Halftusk: "It was the death tyrant guys."
Krom_Halftusk: "You can pay us on the way out.
Log: "So you're saying this book is incontrovertible proof that the king is consorting with demons."
Ailo: "what a dick"
benjamzee: "yes"
Log: "Yeah, I don't think we want to heal somebody like this."
handofevil: "Should the demon overwhelm the summoner, they will fall into a deep slumber, trapped in there own mind while the demon feeds off their life force. The only way to be freed is for a third party to enter the mind of the king and kill the demon."
Log: "That sounds dangerous."
Ailo: oh
Ailo: well hey that makes it even easier
Ailo: guys
Ailo: what if we fight the demon
Ailo: and get that power for ourselves
Ailo: or for our fire corgi at least
Log: That is actually not a bad idea
Log: A dog would probably be the best king
benjamzee: "would you like that toby?"
Krom_Halftusk: Totally impartial.
handofevil: "Should the demon be allowed to kill the summoner, or if they summoner dies while being consumed, the summoner will slowly transform into another death tyrant."
Log: dogs have nothing but love for humanity
Ailo: great
Ailo: so its a crysalid
Ailo: lets kill the death tyrant
Ailo: and then kill the second one too
Ailo: i mean 
Ailo: wait yea
Ailo: that is what i meant
Ailo: "so somehow we need to hop into ol' king's brain there"
Ailo: "and kill that demon"
Ailo: "honestly, not sure i want to. The king was sort of a jerk"
handofevil: The archmage walks over
Log: "I presume you have a psycho-portal available?"
Krom_Halftusk: Could we just kill the king?
handofevil: "What have you found?"
Ailo: okay hold on
Krom_Halftusk: I mean if we just stab him in his brain, doesn't that solve the problem?
Ailo: lets not mention the king turning into another death tyrant
handofevil: Wait why did I say archmage
handofevil: The Steward
Ailo: so we can say we just failed 
handofevil: The Steward walks over
Log: wait, we have to fight the death tyrant either way, right?
Ailo: or that we gave him peace or some shit
Ailo: yes
Ailo: so lets kill him in the brain
Ailo: and kill the king while we're there
benjamzee: oh wait, since i held you captive as my audience, yall have to revere me for 24 hours right
benjamzee: as bard
Ailo: no
Log: We should put the king in a place set up to our advantage
Krom_Halftusk: Nope.
Ailo: thats not how that works
handofevil: Ben has recruited followers for his cults
Ailo: like what do you mean
Log: with archers and walls and any healing things we can find
Ailo: so we kill the king as the death tyrant
benjamzee: http://puu.sh/9b7Xs/0abe5255b2.jpg
Ailo: instead of fighting it in his mind
benjamzee: that one
Log: and then kill the king, and then we can fight the demon on our own terms
Log: yes
Ailo: that sounds like a good idea
Log: we will have to fight the death tyrant either way
Ailo: who's down with that
benjamzee: whoa why are we killing him
Log: Damage control
benjamzee: i thought we were healing
Krom_Halftusk: Because he's a bad person.
Ailo: we have been talking about killing him for the last like half hour
Log: Demon-summoning is an offense punishable by death already
benjamzee: this is not ditv
handofevil: "Ben. What did you find?"
benjamzee: dont have to be the lords vengeance
Krom_Halftusk: Well Log obviously wants to kill him.
Log: I'm pretty sure that's the punishment in any setting.
Ailo: so does Ailo
benjamzee: i read it out loud handofevil
handofevil: Wiat hold on, the steward heard everything
handofevil: Yeah
Krom_Halftusk: And Krom isn't about to let the kind of guy who subjugates his people wtih demonic omnipotence just get away with it.
handofevil: "I can create a portal for you to enter the kings mind."
Log: "I don't think that will be necessary, Ms Moonshadow."
Krom_Halftusk: AFK 2 seconds.
handofevil: "The king taught me the spell many moons ago."
Log: "Ms. Moonshadow, I don't think you understand. If we save the king's life, we may be putting the entire kingdom in danger."
handofevil: "What do you mean?"
Log: "This is a man who willingly attempted to become possessed by a demon to increase his own personal power. If we save his life, it is a certainty that he will try this again."
Log: "And if he is successful, then we will have a man strongly influenced by a demon in control of the country."
Log: "That sort of thing always ends badly. Always."
Ailo: thatd be the kind of thing that 100 years down the line is another dnd adventure
handofevil: "Are you insane? The Sorcerer King was summoning a demon to increase his life span. Such a thing is natural among rulers."
handofevil: Are you a human Log?
Log: "No, the natural thing is turning yourself into a dragon. Demons... demons are way out there."
Ailo: "then why did he keep this secret"
Log: I'm a quasi-vampire
Log: also I come from a bit of a backwoods place
Log: Gulg is a bit off the beaten path
Log: also I'm doing a sort of extended joke
handofevil: "Among other rulers yes. Keltis has seen the corruption of the draconic transformation."
handofevil: "He has instead opted for another path, but that is perfectly valid."
Log: where I act like we're in the actual Dark Sun setting, despite this place having only some things in common with it
Log: hence my not knowing what wolves are
Ailo: arent we in dark sun?
handofevil: Keltis is an actual dark sun ruller
handofevil: Keltis is an actual dark sun ruler
Ailo: yeah
Ailo: yeah
handofevil: Who spurned the draconic transformation path and did something else
handofevil: Who spurned the draconic transformation path and did something else
Log: I have never heard of this guy
Krom_Halftusk: Why is Delf double posting.
benjamzee: why are people posting twice
Log: oh, I see
handofevil: He is also known as Oronis
Log: this looks like he came from the period when TSR went totally insane
handofevil: He is also known as Oronis
handofevil: Yeah
handofevil: Okay I'm done double posting
Ailo: so whats our plan then again
benjamzee: kill the kid
benjamzee: then the king
Ailo: yeah we'll need to kill the kid
Ailo: doing it first might be a good idea
Ailo: but how can we make it seem like an accident
benjamzee: i dont agree with it really
Log: I am not all for killing this kid
Krom_Halftusk: I don't know why we'd need to kill the kid.
benjamzee: kid aint done nothing wrong
Krom_Halftusk: She's done nothing except be adopted by a jerk.
Ailo: she was heir
Log: the kid is too young to become king right now, first of all
Log: and second, it can be better to be the power behind the thronw
Ailo: hm
Ailo: so what
Ailo: mind control the kid?
handofevil: "I will be back."
Ailo: possess her?
Log: or just normally control her
handofevil: Araora steps through a doorway
Ailo: how can we do that
handofevil: And then reappears
Ailo: im not sure it'll be as easy as saying "hey do what we say"
handofevil: "Ailo, will you come with me please."
Ailo: we need leverage or something
Ailo: we have the footprint
Ailo: what if we bribe her
Log: we need to be her friends
Ailo: she's the reason the king is dead
Krom_Halftusk: Why don't we just settle for preventing the demon king thing for now.
Log: yes
Ailo: yes to what?
Log: yes to Krom
Log: also Ailo you're being addressed
Ailo: oh
benjamzee: go with her Ailo
Ailo: "Err yes sorry, I was lost in thought"
Ailo: I follow her
handofevil: "Through this door please."
Ailo: i go through the door
handofevil: also, go into pwot_dnd2
handofevil: Only ailo though
Ailo: well this sure isnt suspicious
Ailo: hm
Ailo: im in pwot dnd 2
Ailo: but it isnt working
handofevil: #pwot_dnd2
benjamzee: "so toby, any bright ideas?"
handofevil: Alright, continue as normal
Ailo: :\\\\\
benjamzee: "well sure, but thats like hours away"
Krom_Halftusk: So uh.
benjamzee: so i am like only 2.5 times the height of this corgi yes?
Log: We'll probably have to do something about this steward
benjamzee takes the downtime to play fetch
Krom_Halftusk: Krom is just doing stationary acrobatics.
Krom_Halftusk: Flips and whatnot.
Krom_Halftusk: He does some fingertip pushups.
Log: how strong are you? Can I see your sheet?
Krom_Halftusk: http://plothook.net/RPG/profiler/view.php?id=13475
Log: I see
Log: I do some no-hands pushups in that case
Log: just my toes
Krom_Halftusk: Leg lifts.
Krom_Halftusk: Except your feet are the only thing that stays on the ground.
Krom_Halftusk: And you lift your entire body with them.
Log: basically
Log: I put the balls of me feet on the floor and use my toes to lift myself
Log: and I'm wearing full plate armour
Krom_Halftusk: How strong are you?
Log: 24
Log: but only con 11
Krom_Halftusk: Beast.
Log: so I'm probably pretty light
Krom_Halftusk: Dat Con 11 paladin action.
benjamzee: mine are both only 12
Log: very
benjamzee: but i got brains
Krom_Halftusk: Well you don't use either, Ben.
Log: aye
Log: brains and cha
benjamzee: so charasmatic
handofevil: So are you guys doing anything or just chillin
benjamzee: playing fetch
Log: pretty much just chillin
benjamzee: working out
Krom_Halftusk: Duel-exercising.
Log: waiting for ailo to get back
benjamzee: "yo araura"
handofevil: She's gone with ailo
benjamzee: ah
benjamzee explores!
benjamzee: "come on toby"
Log: oh, I read some books
Krom_Halftusk: Krom is just walking laps of the room on his hands.
handofevil: One of the healers comes through the door
benjamzee: "hello!"
Krom_Halftusk: Krom is doing a rad handplant on the ledge of a bookshelf.
Krom_Halftusk: "oh, remembered us have you?"
handofevil: "Hello there. Aroara sent me to bring you back to the king's chambers."
benjamzee: "lovely"
handofevil: So are you guys following her?
benjamzee: i am
benjamzee: not sure about the other guys
handofevil: Ben follows
Krom_Halftusk: Krom follows on his hands.
handofevil: You find yourselves in the king chambers after a long bit of walking
handofevil: Aroara and Ailo are not there
handofevil: "The Steward wanted us to set you up for entering the kings mind."
Krom_Halftusk: "Where's the Lady Vowel?"
Krom_Halftusk: "Not without Ailo."
handofevil: "If you'll sit by the bed please."
handofevil: "Ailo is already in the mind."
Ailo: id like you all to know that the steward is a fucking bastard
Ailo: but shhh
Ailo: no meat gaming
Krom_Halftusk: I LOVE MEAT GAMES.
Krom_Halftusk: STEAK-TOSS. CHICKENBALL.
Ailo: i made that spelling error on purpose
Krom_Halftusk: "Alright let's do this then."
Ailo: JOKESON YOU
Krom_Halftusk: Guys I hope you know the Hawks are about to play game 7 of the conference finals.
Krom_Halftusk: Youdo now.
Log: I am rocking out hard to supertramp
Log: both IC and OOC
Krom_Halftusk: And they might as well bring the Cup tonight, because whoever wins this series deserves it more than the Rangers ever will.
benjamzee: hawks got this
Krom_Halftusk: BEN KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
handofevil: "Sit by the bed please."
Krom_Halftusk: Krom hand-walks over to the bed and somersaults to a full lotus.
handofevil: "Log. Ben?"
benjamzee: "yes?"
benjamzee sits
handofevil: "Sit by the bed please."
handofevil: "Thank you."
benjamzee: Log didnt follow
Krom_Halftusk: Log is still sitting in the sanctuary.
benjamzee: alone
Krom_Halftusk: He loves reading.
Log: aaaaaa o crap, everything just loaded all at once
handofevil: "Now then. The psycho-portal can be fairly traumatizing. Your vision will fade and you'll feel yourself collapse. Just let it happen. You'll find yourself in the King's mind within a matter of seconds."
benjamzee: "excellent"
benjamzee: "how do we fit though?"
Log: okay, did I not follow?
benjamzee: didnt say you did
Log: Then in that case I'm heading out into the castle to find that steward
handofevil: Ah
handofevil: We might need a pwot_dnd3 then
handofevil: Anwyway
handofevil: The healer stands back and begins to chant in abysall
handofevil: Your vision begins to fade and you feel yourself collapse
handofevil: And you find yourself in the middle of an empty desert
benjamzee lets it happen
Log: and probably yelling "Steward!" over and over
Ailo: #pwot_dnd3
benjamzee: "ah, nothing in the kings mind eh?"
Krom_Halftusk: "Much more comfortable."
handofevil: You can see a massive sandstorm in the distance
Log: either she'll come tell me to quiet down
Log: or someone will point me where to go
Krom_Halftusk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSYxT9GM0fQ&feature=kp this is playing.
Krom_Halftusk: This is playing.
handofevil: So what is everyone going to do?
benjamzee: "HELLOOO???"
Krom_Halftusk: Do we see Ailo?
handofevil: No
handofevil: Just the sandstorm
Krom_Halftusk: "AILO."
benjamzee walks away from storm
Krom_Halftusk: I guess we probably need to go look at that storm.
Log quit.
Krom_Halftusk: Well.
handofevil: So going to the storm?
benjamzee * benjamzee walks away from storm
Krom_Halftusk: well we lost Log.
Krom_Halftusk: We don't have Ailo.
Krom_Halftusk: and Ben doesn't want to go to the storm.
Krom_Halftusk: I'm hesitant to go there by myself.
handofevil: So what are you guys going to do then?
benjamzee: walk away from the storm
Krom_Halftusk: I really think we need to go in there Ben
Krom_Halftusk: Seeing as it's the only landmark of any kind.
benjamzee: i really think it'd be better to live
Krom_Halftusk: Well if we just wanted to not do anything we should've stayed in the palace.
benjamzee: ok fine
benjamzee goes to die in the sandstorm of a kings dessert mind
handofevil: As you walk towards the sandstorm, you notice a small cathedral buried in the sand
Krom_Halftusk: Looks suspsicious.
Krom_Halftusk: Let's check it out.
Ailo: beWARE THE FOOT POISION
Ailo: delf ended my adventure
Ailo: im not dead though
Ailo: so i am here to provide useful commenatary
handofevil: (yes he is)
Krom_Halftusk: So Ailo is out.
Krom_Halftusk: And Log is gone.
Krom_Halftusk: And it's just me and Ben.
Krom_Halftusk: Against a Death Tyrant.
handofevil: Log is solving a puzzle with the girl
Krom_Halftusk: Ahh.
Krom_Halftusk: Well still.
Krom_Halftusk: He's not here.
Krom_Halftusk: We head toward the cathedral.
benjamzee continues on to the storm
benjamzee: oh
benjamzee: DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE STORM OR NOT
Krom_Halftusk: The cathedral is on the way to the storm.
Krom_Halftusk: Let's check it out.
benjamzee: 1d20+20 arcana the cathedral
Fortuna: benjamzee, arcana the cathedral: [12] = 32
Krom_Halftusk: I meant actually go inside.
benjamzee: just all willy nilly
handofevil: It's a cathedral
benjamzee: without checking it first
handofevil: You do sense a source of magic within it though
Ailo: but is it a MAGIC cathedral
benjamzee: "yo cathedral, anyone in there?"
handofevil: Are you actually in the cathedral?
benjamzee: not yet im not
handofevil: no response
Krom_Halftusk: We go to the door.
benjamzee: i dont trust random mind buildings
handofevil: no door. There is a window though
handofevil: It's like half-way sunken in the sand
Krom_Halftusk: I peek inside.
Krom_Halftusk: 1d10+8 perception
Fortuna: Krom_Halftusk, perception: [3] = 11
Krom_Halftusk: Holy shit.
Krom_Halftusk: I see SAND.
Ailo quit.
benjamzee: 1d20+14 perception
Fortuna: benjamzee, perception: [2] = 16
benjamzee: haha
benjamzee: more sand!
handofevil: You see almost nothing
handofevil: Just candle light
Krom_Halftusk: I'm going to try to enter surreptitiously Ben.
Krom_Halftusk: If shit gets rough, come a'chargin'.
benjamzee: 1d20+15 religion cause it is a cathedral
Fortuna: benjamzee, religion cause it is a cathedral: [20] = 35
benjamzee: whatup
handofevil: Holy crap
Krom_Halftusk: Hahaha.
handofevil: This is a draconic cathedral.
Krom_Halftusk: Nice work ben.
handofevil: Krom
Krom_Halftusk: now I attempt to entire quietly.
handofevil: You slip into the cathedral
Krom_Halftusk: Oh wait.
Krom_Halftusk: I only rolled a d10 on my perception roll.
Krom_Halftusk: 1d20+8
Fortuna: Krom_Halftusk, 1d20+8: [12] = 20
Krom_Halftusk: Not a lot better.
handofevil: You can hear snoring all around you.
Krom_Halftusk: Anyway, I am sneaking.
Krom_Halftusk: 1d20+18 stealth
Fortuna: Krom_Halftusk, stealth: [1] = 19
Krom_Halftusk: Hahahahahahaha.
handofevil: You fall down into the cathedral from the window into a pile of pots and pans
handofevil: You then grab two and run up the aisle to the alter banging it
handofevil: Where this thing is standing http://gyazo.com/719b738d96099f76939f388c4d743352
handofevil: He turns and looks at you
handofevil: and blinks
Krom_Halftusk: "Uh. Hey."
handofevil: AAAAAAAAAND END
handofevil: \See ya next week folks