Heronius_Napalm: Hello fortuna Fortuna: Good evening. Igfig: Hello, gentlemen. Fortuna. Fortuna: Hello. dreyrugr: Morning, Luv. Fortuna dreyrugr: Fortuna hates british impersonations Igfig: Last time, you finished the battle with the eels Igfig: by harnessing the power of eels and Thorn's incredible powers of intimidation Brigsby: We did. And we brought King Eel to the surface, and our boat with it. Igfig: Indeed. Brigsby: And earned the eternal adulation of the people of...whatever the town's name was Igfig: Horkon. Brigsby: That Heronius_Napalm: What an awful name. Igfig: Yup. Igfig: And I dunno about adulation, but definitely repspect. Heronius_Napalm: I would prefer fear. Brigsby: That's because you're evil Wilco: of course YOU would Brigsby: So... now what? Igfig: Since Thorn won't be here today, I figure he collapsed from exhaustion after his feat Igfig: and the eel fled into the bay Igfig: and now you guys are here on the dock Igfig: with a wrecked ship tied to it Igfig: What are you going to do now? Brigsby: So, let's go get Gerom and get him to fix up our ship? Wilco: eeyup Far-Walker: Yup Lucas_Strongbow joined #pwot_dnd. Heronius_Napalm: That, and we need to get our shuttle here too. Brigsby: Also I'll go to some shop and get my familiar Lucas_Strongbow: Arrived Brigsby: Unless I just suddenly know how to summon it Igfig: I think having to actually acquire the familiar is more interesting Igfig: so we'll go with buying it Lucas_Strongbow: It comes in a dream Igfig: or that Brigsby: Yeah, me too. So I go to a pet shop! Lucas_Strongbow: like Jiminy Cricket Heronius_Napalm: I will go as well Brigsby: I didn't get the Fiddling Grig, so no Heronius_Napalm: I like maigc Igfig: I don't think they have pet shops here, actually Brigsby: Oh. Familiar Shop? Brigsby: Exotic Lizard Boutique? Igfig: well... how in-depth do you want to RP this? Heronius_Napalm: They certainly have a sewer you could explore. Igfig: Because if the answer is "not much", then you can probably find a breeder somewhere Brigsby: I honestly don't care, just whatever makes more sense than "And suddenly Brigsby knew how to summon a fire lizard" Igfig: or perhaps one of the local mages had a fire-lizard familiar, and it laid some eggs Brigsby: That sounds cool. Heronius_Napalm: Wait, they have mages? Igfig: A few, yeah. Heronius_Napalm: I would like to challenge them to duels to prove my superiority. Igfig: You bought some of your rituals from them. Heronius_Napalm: Then take their stuff. Brigsby: Oh, speaking of that, I need to buy the Mount Familiar ritual from them as well Igfig: uh... I don't think they're particularly interested in that kind of thing Igfig: dueling, I mean Heronius_Napalm: I would like to set their homes on fire then. Yin joined #pwot_dnd. Heronius_Napalm: Lousy redneck mages. Igfig: the magical tradition here is more of a scholarly thing Thorn_the_Gnoll joined #pwot_dnd. Wilco: cowards Heronius_Napalm: It was like that where I came from too, except in my family. Yin left #pwot_dnd. Igfig: and uh, if you really want to make everyone want to lynch you, I guess you could Heronius_Napalm: We like to strut about burning things. Heronius_Napalm: *sigh* Thorn_the_Gnoll: What's happening? Brigsby: Well, before Hero gets around to terrorizing the populace, I would like to get my egg and ritual. Igfig: oh, and Brigsby, sure you can buy the ritual from someone Heronius_Napalm: I suppose I would rather just get the ship finished. Igfig: right, you do so. Brigsby: Yay Brigsby: Awesome. Heronius_Napalm: So I can leave this rock. Igfig: Also, hey Thorn I thought you weren't coming. Brigsby: Yeah, I've got my stuff, so let's get this ship running. Igfig: okay Thorn_the_Gnoll: My computer won't connect with the cable, I'm on my mother's laptop at the moment. Igfig: right Thorn_the_Gnoll: Which needs a flash update in order to see the map. Thorn_the_Gnoll: So yeah. Igfig: oh, aright. Cool. Igfig: *that you could make it Igfig: also, did you see your new item? Thorn_the_Gnoll: New item? Igfig: go to the magic items page on the wiki Heronius_Napalm: I want to get a ritual for myself. Igfig: Anyway, you guys go to Gerom's Igfig: oh, aright Heronius_Napalm: Arcane Lock Igfig: Done. Heronius_Napalm: yay! Igfig: You go to Gerom's; the new armour is ready. Igfig: so whoever's wearing that. dreyrugr: Me Fingers joined #pwot_dnd. Igfig: all right dreyrugr: "Hey fingers. Check out my badass armor." Heronius_Napalm: Fingers regains conciousness. Brigsby: I also need to buy some residuum, so I guess I'll retroactively do that as well Fingers: Ublugh? Igfig: Fingers, you have been deep in hibernation. Fingers snore Thorn_the_Gnoll: Sweet, I get a super fancy garrote thing. Igfig: No, make that a spirit journey Fingers wake up Fingers: "Guys, I have unlocked the secrets of the universe." Fingers: "Insofar as they relate to rocking the fuck out." Wilco: Are they very exciting? Heronius_Napalm: It's probably just gas. dreyrugr: "Yeah. But check out my armor." Igfig: there was a spirit guide and purreal imagery and everything Fingers: Doing it now Igfig: *surreal Igfig: your spirit guide was, uh, Kurt Cobain dreyrugr: Oh Ig. This armor has a +1 AC enchantment. Do I get a +8 armor then? Lucas_Strongbow: Jim Morrison, surely Brigsby: Yoda Brigsby: with boobs Heronius_Napalm: Sonny cofax. Igfig: that +1 is an enhancement bonus, so put it in the enhancement bonus column dreyrugr: Alright Lucas_Strongbow: Frank Zappa Igfig: Make that Jimi Hendrix Igfig: or whatever dreyrugr: Make that Shetland Firestorm Igfig: I don't know very much about old rock stars dreyrugr: Wait, we're talking about the greatest rock stars right? Fingers: "I saw Jimi Cobain" Fingers: "His cleavage was MAGNIFICENT" Igfig: yeah, him Brigsby: "Who's that?" Igfig: anyway, the important point is you now have special powers Igfig: boon powers Heronius_Napalm: more like boob powers! Igfig: also that Heronius_Napalm: yuk yuk Igfig: But ANYWAY Igfig: You are at Gerom's because you wanted to talk to him about ships Far-Walker: And shipping. Far-Walker: We're going to talk to him about our favorite shippings. Thorn_the_Gnoll: What about my eel? Heronius_Napalm: Catch and release Far-Walker: Far is shipping Thorn and his eel. Igfig: Yeah, you were pretty exhausted after that feat Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh right right, makes sense. Igfig: so the eel ran away Thorn_the_Gnoll: No not run away, I was hoping to keep it. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Like as a mount since it can breath air. Wilco: It's a little big to drag around with us Igfig: It can breathe air if it needs to, but it doesn't like to Igfig: also it can't move on land Lucas_Strongbow: I say we eat it Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, figured on off chance we hit a water planet or something, plus that back up spaceship energy supply idea. Heronius_Napalm: I refuse to magic a set of wheels onto an eel Thorn_the_Gnoll: Either way. Wilco: We should eat it Thorn_the_Gnoll: We can discuss it some other time. Brigsby: Let's just get this ship fixed up Igfig: It's certainly a cool idea, but the eel has unfortunately swum off for now. Wilco: swum Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'll just get him back later or something. Far-Walker: swoom Lucas_Strongbow: I've made you an eel whistle Igfig: So yeah, Gerom is glad to hear that you've raised the ship, and he's ready to start working on the space and magic stuff for it Brigsby: Awesome Igfig: but the thing is, he's not a shipbuilder Brigsby: Not awesome Wilco: fuck Heronius_Napalm: We have the plans, but we need an expert. Lucas_Strongbow: We need whatshisface Wilco: Whatshisface is pretty good at these things Igfig: you need a shipwright, some carpenters... Igfig: plenty of material, to fill holes and replace the rotten bits Heronius_Napalm: Do we need to pay these people? Brigsby: Rotten? I thought it was metal Fingers: If there's holes that need fillin' I'm ready and willin' :D Igfig: you would, yes Igfig: Nope, it's a wooden sailing ship Heronius_Napalm: Screw that. Lucas_Strongbow: Why do we need to plug it up if it's not going in water? Brigsby: Ah Igfig: well, you don't /have/ to plug it up Brigsby: Because... space Lucas_Strongbow: Must repair ship because space Brigsby: Exactly Lucas_Strongbow: I'm down with that Far-Walker: Sound logic Igfig: but there is the worry that if you tried to raise it off the ground, large parts of it would just fall off Wilco: We will have a true space ship Brigsby: that's a problem Fingers: Which parts? Igfig: you aren't sure offhand, but important parts. Heronius_Napalm: As for materieals, we can scavenge our old shuttle. Brigsby: all the parts Fingers: Hmm... those parts sound important Fingers: Hell no, we should have them add a shuttle bay Igfig: Also the masts on this are broken, so you'd need some of those Wilco: will we have enough power just from that small shuttle to raise this huge ship? Fingers: And we can use the shuttle as a dinghy! Brigsby: Our old shuttle is in the middle of the junklands a long way from here. Heronius_Napalm: We have comms. Wilco: we need to get it either way Heronius_Napalm: We can get them to fly it over Wilco: comms? Brigsby: Wasn't it out of fuel? Heronius_Napalm: no Igfig: The spelljammer helm in the shuttle would be enough to move this ship, yeah Heronius_Napalm: it was low on air Fingers: We can load it in the battlewagon Heronius_Napalm: No we will not. Fingers: And BATTLEWAGON it over Wilco: I don;t see why not Heronius_Napalm: Denied Wilco: the BATTLEWAGON is awesome Brigsby: I see many reasons why not Igfig: but if you only used the shuttle's engines for maneuvering, it would handle like a barge Fingers: Can we add a Battlewagon bay? Igfig: You could, yes Fingers: Bitchin' Wilco: yay! Far-Walker: woo! dreyrugr: RELEASE THE BATTLEWAGONS UPON OUR ENEMIES dreyrugr: Battlewagon shuttles Fingers: Battlewagon(s)? Did it breed while I was out!? Brigsby: So how do we get to our shuttle? Igfig: Also, this ship isn't really big enough to keep the Bus in Wilco: Crap Igfig: the hangar would take up half the ship dreyrugr: yes fingers Fingers: Which half? Brigsby: So we scuttle the Bus for parts dreyrugr: It did Igfig: so you might want to either combine the two, or break up the bus for parts for the ship, or vice versa Heronius_Napalm: I think we are in line for some fetch quests. Lucas_Strongbow: I knew it Wilco: FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK Igfig: to get to the shuttle, you just hike back across the junkyard Brigsby: Wonderful Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right past those jackalweres from earlier. Igfig: Actually, most of the stuff you need for the ship is pretty easy to come by Thorn_the_Gnoll: Possibly. Brigsby: I say we combine the two Brigsby: make it a Super-bus Wilco: We killed the jackalweres Brigsby: There are probably more Milo_Magnus joined #pwot_dnd. Igfig: You killed some of them, and then the rest disappeared Wilco: eric! Heronius_Napalm: The ones we didn't kill are in a hole somewhere dreyrugr: Yes, but who's to say they haven't turned into ghost wilco? Milo_Magnus: grunt dreyrugr: HMMMMM?! Milo_Magnus: sup Igfig: Hey Milo, good you made it Milo_Magnus: can y'all introduce yourselves? Wilco: Waffle Igfig: Well, I'm Igfig. dreyrugr: I am the butt master Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yin. dreyrugr: I AM THE MASTER OF ALL BUTTS Wilco: David Wong Igfig: that is treu dreyrugr: And also the guy who made you fight a kitten Igfig: *true Far-Walker: I am bug-man! Fingers: I am Fingers, and possible Rock Jesus Milo_Magnus: dude we friended the fuck out of that kitten Brigsby: I am Brigsby, Lighting Hobbit Wilco: I did, not we dreyrugr: I am dreyrugr. Stupid slut of the party Brigsby: Lightning* Heronius_Napalm: I am Heronius Napalm XVI, your superior in every conceivable way. Wilco: I am Wilco, fat ass paladin who got kicked out before he could become a true paladin for a series of events involving dead bodies Heronius_Napalm: Also wizard. Brigsby: Wilco is a terrible paladin Wilco: Hero isn't that great of a guy Far-Walker: I am Far-Walker. The bug man who can kill your ass at a hundred yards. Thorn_the_Gnoll: I am Thorn, the manager, and scary giant fuzzy ninja. Fingers: I am Fingers dreyrugr: Hero is the best, shut up wilco Far-Walker: also bassist of the band Fingers: I do the thing with the fingers Heronius_Napalm: I have never attempted to be good, merely better than everyone and everything. dreyrugr: I am leaving in 30 minutes Brigsby: Now that we have introduced ourselves... who are you? Milo_Magnus: I am a rogue bard Milo_Magnus: a human Wilco: of course you are Brigsby: rogue bard? Milo_Magnus: I left a guild of dark elf assassins Milo_Magnus: a long time ago Igfig: whoa, whoa Fingers: Dark elf assassin bards Fingers: His methods were too bardly Thorn_the_Gnoll: ? Fingers: They took his badge and his lute Far-Walker: So he went rogue Milo_Magnus: I've always had a way of wandering into a village and walking out with half their money Igfig: you can't just tell them this. You aren't here yet. Milo_Magnus: oh Milo_Magnus: OH Igfig: well Wilco: Wait Milo, we are all level 4, your character is level 6 for the other campaign Brigsby: Ah, I was thinking hybrid class. What they said makes more sense. dreyrugr: Wrong character waffle Lucas_Strongbow: I am Lucas_Strongbow, resident Han Solo, rhythm guitarist and Hunter Igfig: well okay, a little background is all right Heronius_Napalm: If you walk up to us in the street and start talking like this you will end up on fire. Fingers: They also took his badge because he threw off the party xp by being higher level dreyrugr: (I assume) Wilco: Milo Magnus is his name dreyrugr: Two milo's Fingers: Bastard refuses to level sync Wilco: That is dumb Igfig: you will need to figure out how you and Milo will meet dreyrugr: I KNOW Milo_Magnus: I made a second milo magnus Milo_Magnus: I KNOW Milo_Magnus: no let me dreyrugr: MILO HAS BEEN CONTRACTED TO KILL WAFFLE dreyrugr: I mean wilco Milo_Magnus: ... Lucas_Strongbow: Finally Wilco: WHAT DID I DO Brigsby: you mean waffle Milo_Magnus: actually that's a better idea Wilco: GOD DAMMIT dreyrugr: Because rumor has it... dreyrugr: that he is a rocker Milo_Magnus: because igfig and I had a conversation Milo_Magnus: let's do it Wilco: Okay Igfig: hired to kill Waffle? Wilco: Just before we take off from this planet Wilco: we should rock the fuck out dreyrugr: Hired to kill wilco* Igfig: Wilco, right Far-Walker: Wait, you can get paid money to kill Wilco? Far-Walker: Where do I sign up? dreyrugr: Right here Far-Walker signs dreyrugr: Have fun! Wilco: fucjer Wilco: fcker Wilco: fucker Far-Walker: Livin' the dream Heronius_Napalm signs up a dozen times Heronius_Napalm: Let's get burnin. Wilco: fuck you guys Lucas_Strongbow: Don't worry, he won't actually kill you Lucas_Strongbow: Just rough you up a bit Lucas_Strongbow: We'll stop him Lucas_Strongbow: Probably dreyrugr: Maybe dreyrugr: Nah Far-Walker: If you payus Far-Walker: pay us Heronius_Napalm: I will likely be reading a magazine somewhere. Wilco: I have no money Wilco: in fact Wilco: I have 100 gold Wilco: in total dreyrugr: Oh well dreyrugr: Looks like he can't pay us not to kill him Wilco: DON'T MAKE ME Wilco: *pulls out the poo jar* Wilco: I'LL CLEAN OFF THE DILDO Lucas_Strongbow: HO SHIT dreyrugr: So? Brigsby: That poop isn't going to travel across time and space to attack us here Lucas_Strongbow: that was not meant to be a pun, by the way Wilco: I'm sort of wondering if it would do that dreyrugr: Let's find out Wilco: Igfig would the poo resort to anything to kill us? dreyrugr: *Wipes off all the shit on wilco* Wilco: You don't have the jar dreyrugr: :( Igfig: uhh Heronius_Napalm: Great, make him smell /worse/ Far-Walker: So back to the adventure... Igfig: if you clean the dildo, it will not summon poop from another planet, no. Wilco: Dammit Brigsby: Let's hike back to the bus I guess Igfig: Anyway, as we were saying Milo_Magnus: why is there a dildo? Lucas_Strongbow: Looong story Wilco: Long story Brigsby: long story Far-Walker: Long story, other chat Fingers: You and that fucking thing, Wilco Wilco: hahaha dreyrugr: Wilco plays with it every night Igfig: most of the stuff you need for the ship is pretty easy to come by... you can get the basic materials and the contractors here, Igfig: or some better ones in Phalant Fingers: Bet-ter-ones Fingers: Bet-ter-ones Brigsby: Let's split up, then. One Bus-getting team, one material-getting team Wilco: I'll go get the bus Lucas_Strongbow: one team go adventuring, the other goes shopping Igfig: if, however, you want more unusual things on your ship Fingers: I'll go with the bus team Far-Walker: What's the Bus team doing? Wilco: we need a mini fridge Lucas_Strongbow: I call bus team, I am the pilot Fingers: Someone be sure to make them add a battlewagon bay Igfig: such as mounted weapons, or gadgets, or whatever Fingers: I'll be coming back fully wagon'd Wilco: ooh Wilco: fancy Brigsby: Bus team is getting the bus and bringing it back here. Which means Hero and Lucas need to be on the Bus team to fly it over. dreyrugr: "I don't care. I'll get drunk and pass out soon anyway" Heronius_Napalm: We will want that cannon. Igfig: then you may have to do some looking around Far-Walker: I'll be on scavenging Fingers: How about three teams? Fingers: Repair team, finds contractors for boat Fingers: Bus team, goes and brings it here Heronius_Napalm: How about not splitting the party? Lucas_Strongbow: that may be overcomplicating things Fingers: and Scavenge team, which searches the jumk pile for add-ons Igfig: You guys should at some point do some brainstorming and figure out all the special stuff you want for your ship Wilco: MACHINE GUNS dreyrugr: GUNS Wilco: ROCKETS dreyrugr: ALL THE GUNS Wilco: a gyroscope so we can do barrel rolls and back flips Heronius_Napalm: What did you expect? dreyrugr: A PRISON CELL FOR WILCO Wilco: without vomiting Lucas_Strongbow: A hot tub Igfig: Also, if Slim was here, I'd be good for splitting the party Lucas_Strongbow: And a bed made of velour Brigsby: A new gun, and better shields, better engines, and a grappling hook to fire at enemy ships so we can board them. Milo_Magnus: preferably a prison cell with easy access for assassins dreyrugr: Hookers dreyrugr: We need hookers Far-Walker: Blow Far-Walker: Hookers and blow Brigsby: One is enough Igfig: Note that this place doesn't have much in the way of tech Far-Walker: Don't need tech for hookers and blow Igfig: well, other than the scavenging stuff Brigsby: It's a junk planet, could we not just scour the junk-piles? Igfig: so better shields and better engines may be hard to come by Heronius_Napalm: We could mount thorns rope to a big grappling hook. Igfig: particularly the better engines Brigsby: We might need something to launch the hook though Igfig: luckily, this ship has sails Fingers: BOAT Fingers: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e187/johnnyevilguy/boat.png Igfig: Also you'll have to figure out what the ship will actually look like, eventually Igfig: but for now Lucas_Strongbow: the good ship Ship Wilco: I think Wilco: we should just keep the ship looking like a ship Wilco: so we can have... a space ship dreyrugr: Booooooo Far-Walker throws tomato Fingers: FUCK Igfig: well, floor-plan-wise Fingers: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e187/johnnyevilguy/ENEMIESAPPROACH.png Igfig: at the very least Igfig: and heh Igfig: but for now, how about that simpler stuff. Finding the workers and going back to the Bus, I believe? Brigsby: http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071205061202/starwars/images/d/d9/Woodenbattleship.JPG Heronius_Napalm: That'll do. Milo_Magnus: well that settles that Far-Walker: yup Fingers: THE DAY IS SAVED Fingers: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e187/johnnyevilguy/FUCKYEAHBATTLEWAGON.png dreyrugr: HOORAY Lucas_Strongbow: Those people look like tourists Brigsby: I like mine better dreyrugr: We can't see yours Brigsby: oh Fingers: Battlewagon destroys without mercy, tourists be damned. Brigsby: http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071205061202/starwars/images/d/d9/Woodenbattleship.JPG Igfig: You find some guys who claim they know something about making ships Wilco: sorry guys I'm on the phone right now Lucas_Strongbow: Who claim Heronius_Napalm: Insight check!!! dreyrugr: Still not brigsby. Brigsby: http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/d/d9/Woodenbattleship.JPG Brigsby: ARGH Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+9 Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, 1d20+9: [8] = 17 dreyrugr: THERE dreyrugr: YES dreyrugr: THAT IS THE BEST SHIP Igfig: Yes Brigsby, that looks pretty cool dreyrugr: THAT IS OUR SHIP Far-Walker: I think that's our ship Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+5 Insight Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, Insight: [11] = 16 Fingers: Can we still name it the S.S. Boat? dreyrugr: But it seems to be lacking something Brigsby: Oh, you can see it now? dreyrugr: Where's the battlewagon? Brigsby: I still can't Wilco: good question delf Igfig: These guys do look a little, uh, shifty isn't quite the right word Igfig: a little rough and tumble Milo_Magnus: black? Wilco: I'll ride the battle wagon to the shuttle Far-Walker: Is drunk a better one? Lucas_Strongbow: I think Milo might be a racist Igfig: but their business seems legit, and they show you some ships they've made Igfig: just fishing ships, nothing fancy Igfig: but solidly made dreyrugr starts drinking some sort of beer Fingers: Nothing fancy? Fuck that Fingers: We want fance out the ass Wilco: We need so much fance Wilco: it hurts Lucas_Strongbow: We need some seriously gilded shit Lucas_Strongbow: Like that ship brigsby showed us Wilco: like that ship from up there Brigsby: I think that's more of a end-goal Fingers: We need professor unicorn Wilco: fine Brigsby: Let's just start with normal and build up to that Wilco: what Igfig: "Oh," he says. "Well then, for that sort of thing you'd need to go to Phalant." Igfig: "Hear they got all sort of fancy schooners and clipper-what-have-yous up there." Heronius_Napalm: I do NOT want to see this planet's concept of a "fancy city" Heronius_Napalm: It's likely a festering hell-hole Fingers: Fancy City means people with too much disposable income Far-Walker: The sort of people who might pay money to see a show? Heronius_Napalm: If these people had a currency that wasnt their own excrement, I'd be happy to take it from them. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Considering we had to pay gold for the boat and stuff... yeah they do. Far-Walker: Gold is the universal currency. Igfig: "Aye, it's not much to look at up there. All small little houses and mincing shops and dainties. Nothing like Horkon, with our proper big towers and what." Heronius_Napalm: Shops? Lucas_Strongbow: I imagine this man has a scottish accent Fingers: "I haven't seen a good mincing shop in forever," Heronius_Napalm: Fuck it, we should go. Igfig: "Sure, they have shows up there. 'Quaint' little amphitheatre and so on. Brigsby: "So why are you telling us to go there, then? What do you guys specialize in?" Far-Walker: I imagine him voiced by the Team Fortress 2 Demoman Fingers: I imagine him voiced by launchpad mcquack Igfig: "What do you mean, we? We here at my workshop, or we here in Phalant?" Brigsby: "You here in Horkon." Igfig: oops Igfig: DM brainfart Igfig: *we here in Horkon Brigsby: "You here in your workshop, then" Lucas_Strongbow: This seems like the sort of town where people 'don't take kindly' to much Fingers: I don't take kindly to your implication Heronius_Napalm: I don't take kindly by the distinct lack of fire in my immediate vicinity. Wilco: Okay what is going on, I put the phone on speaker dreyrugr: I don't take kindly to the lack of alcohol Lucas_Strongbow: We don't take kindly to people who don't take kindly to people Igfig: "We make proper no-nonsense boats, we do. That wreck of yours out there? That's the only ship that's been wrecked by accident here in oh, twenty years at least." Lucas_Strongbow: What happened to it? Brigsby: "Ah, so do you think you could do anything to fix this ship up? Make it viable for space-travel and whatnot? For our entire party here, I mean." Fingers: He just said he could, but the repairs would be boring and shit Fingers: Also, I don't think he grasps the concept of "space" Lucas_Strongbow: Just make it aturdy Brigsby: Then let's get it in working condition. The bells and whistles need to come AFTER the engines. Lucas_Strongbow: sturdy, even Igfig: (I'm pretty sure Slim said something about how this ship sank, but I can't for the life of me find where he said it) Fingers: I remember it was filled with chocolate Fingers: And then eels Brigsby: We'll get it running, then fly it to Phalant for the better stuff. Fingers: Which are statistically less tasty than chocolate dreyrugr: It sank during the great boner invasion of 2066 or whatever year it was 20 years ago Lucas_Strongbow: I actually tried jellied eels last week Wilco: what is with you and boners Igfig: Also I might be wrong about it being twenty years ago Wilco: at this rate you could very well ruin boner jokes forever Igfig: actually, if it were older it would probably be in worse condition Fingers: Not necessarily Fingers: Water conditions can preserve a ship quite well Igfig: "Sure, we can fix this one up but good. My boys will take care of her." dreyrugr wonders off to find some alcohol dreyrugr quit. Fingers: "Can you add a storage bay with a watertight deployable ramp? Igfig: we'll figure out the age later Fingers: Like this? http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e187/johnnyevilguy/FUCKYEAHBATTLEWAGON.png Brigsby: "Awesome, thanks you guys. Do you take chocolate as payment?" Igfig: "A hole In the back? Son, have you ever /seen/ a ship? You don't put a hole in the back of it unless you want it to sink." Brigsby: "It's fine, just a hatch that opens up so we can more easily unload things at a dock." Lucas_Strongbow: Put a ramp on the back, and use that to get the battlewagon off Lucas_Strongbow: Way more bitcin' Igfig: "No, that's... that's where the cabin goes. You can't-- just--" Thorn_the_Gnoll: A battlewagon launcher instead of a battlewagon ramp. Igfig: He looks uncomfortable with the idea. Lucas_Strongbow: I subtly imply that he's getting paid either way Igfig: somebody want to make a Diplomacy check here? Heronius_Napalm: Look, they are going to pester you about this until you agree. Brigsby: I will Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+9 Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, 1d20+9: [20] = 29 Heronius_Napalm: Light shoots out of my face, Brigsby: But I'll let that count Far-Walker: Get him to suck your dick while you're at it. Far-Walker: DO IT Heronius_Napalm: I'll also take the labour for free, and your house Far-Walker: DON'T WASTE THAT TWENTY Heronius_Napalm: also call your wife over Heronius_Napalm: I could use some "service" Igfig: "Hmm. Well, you never know. It's not how I'd do it, but it might just work." Igfig: "You've got guts, you kids. All right, I'll build you your ramp." Lucas_Strongbow: He likes our moxie Heronius_Napalm: Good. Igfig: Then he give Hero a dirty look Far-Walker: Dirty, slutty look Heronius_Napalm recoils Igfig: not that kind Wilco: So when are the people who are getting the ship coming in? Igfig: Who went to go get the ship? Igfig: Or are you all going? Brigsby: Well, we need Hero and Lucas to go, if only to fly the thing here Heronius_Napalm: We will stay together Heronius_Napalm: if only to make things simpler Igfig: Anyway, the guy--he says his name is Hagen--brings his boys over to the ship and they start inspecting and measuring Igfig: all right Igfig: so you head out into the junkyard? Lucas_Strongbow: yep Lucas_Strongbow: Bus-ward Brigsby: Yeah, in...whichever way the bus is. Do we even know that? Heronius_Napalm: Yes Fingers: Sure, it's busward Fingers: Just turn towards bus, and head that way Thorn_the_Gnoll: West I think. Far-Walker: busward! Thorn_the_Gnoll: Additionally: Thorn_the_Gnoll wakes up. Brigsby: Lucas, use your magical tracking whatever to guide the way! Lucas_Strongbow: It's mainly guess work and trails of yarn Lucas_Strongbow: But it works Wilco: wouldn't the yarn have been blown away in that storm? Lucas_Strongbow: That's where the guess work comes in Wilco: I see Igfig: All right Milo_Magnus: *I watch them from afar* Milo_Magnus: *I look down at the photograph in my hand Brigsby: I just realized keeping a Fire Lizard on a wooden ship might not be the best idea Lucas_Strongbow: hey, who's that guy? Igfig: It's early afternoon by the time you head off back into the junkyard Lucas_Strongbow: In the distance Brigsby: What guy? Igfig: Milo, are you hiding? Milo_Magnus: I am hiding Igfig: That guy in the crawlspace! Igfig: nobody will get that reference Heronius_Napalm: I feel like I should. Igfig: Gimme a Stealth check, Milo Milo_Magnus: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+11: [12] = 23 Lucas_Strongbow: Can I do a perception check? Milo_Magnus: I just said you can Igfig: You'd only get the reference if you watched TVO Kids during a specific month about fifteen years ago Far-Walker: Should be opposed, with maybe a penalty for being far away Lucas_Strongbow: Actually, my passive perception is better than that Igfig: there's distance to consider Lucas_Strongbow: with my stance, bumps it up to 24 Igfig: I'm pretty sure you're not in that stance the whole time Far-Walker: We call 'im Eagle-Eyes Lucas Igfig: it'd be exhausting Milo_Magnus: does he like squat to see things better? Igfig: About how far away are you hiding, Milo? Far-Walker: Because he once ate an eagle's eye. Far-Walker: It was kind of disgusting Lucas_Strongbow: It wasn't good Milo_Magnus: "afar" Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+14 with stance Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, with stance: [15] = 29 Milo_Magnus: close enough to use a picture to recognize wilco Lucas_Strongbow: Light comes out of my eyes Heronius_Napalm: That would make you blind. Heronius_Napalm: brb Igfig: Uh... why are you going into combat stances during a hike? Igfig: Also, you can only really keep it up for five minutes before you have to rest Lucas_Strongbow: because I'm looking around Wilco: I'm eating some more of my chocolate Lucas_Strongbow: like a merekat Wilco: just stuffing my face Far-Walker: In case there's particularly viscous bits of metal sticking out. Igfig: ... Igfig: well okay, I think you'd see Milo anyway Lucas_Strongbow: just says I assume a yeah, it's 27 without Milo_Magnus: shit Lucas_Strongbow: Hey, who's that guy? Igfig: Just barely, though Milo_Magnus: I duck away Wilco: "Who?" Lucas_Strongbow: That guy with a picture of...you Milo_Magnus: how do you know that? Igfig: just a glimpse of someone moving from one piece of cover to the next Lucas_Strongbow: I assume it's a massive picture. Wilco is very fat Heronius_Napalm: The picture can be seen from space Wilco: It would have to be a very large picture Milo_Magnus: If he was that fat, then why would I need a picture at all? Wilco: about 30" Heronius_Napalm: Why indeed. Wilco: because I am 300 pounds Igfig: oh, so that's it Milo_Magnus: they would jsut tell me to kill fatty and I would immeadiately know what to do Igfig: you're like, hey is that Wilco over there? Milo_Magnus: yeah Igfig: and then no, wilco's right here Wilco: "Does anyone have any more chocolate? I think the doctor snuck into my cache" Igfig: so it's the picture Lucas_Strongbow: I give Wilco a melted handful of chocolate Igfig: anyway, you are spotted. Igfig: What do you do, Milo? And likewise, what do you do, other people? Milo_Magnus: I try to recover and approach them cautiously Heronius_Napalm: "Hey, over there" Lucas_Strongbow: Come out, we know you're there! Far-Walker: Far's got his bow ready Milo_Magnus: Howdy Heronius_Napalm: If you don't show yourself I am going to start burning everything within a 50 foot raidus. Lucas_Strongbow: And then I say it again in Elven, just to be sure Wilco: I sit down and start eating this chocolate Milo_Magnus: heard y'all were heading to the junkyard! Wilco: a big goofy smile on my face Milo_Magnus: mind if I come along Heronius_Napalm: "How do you know that?" Heronius_Napalm: Who told you? Milo_Magnus: goddamn jackals are out in the evening and I'd rather not travel alone Milo_Magnus: the fat one Far-Walker: "He said howdy. So he's probably cool." Milo_Magnus: was talking really loudly about it Brigsby: I summon my familiar Heronius_Napalm glances at wilco Lucas_Strongbow: Because we were singing that "going to the junkyard" song Milo_Magnus: also that Wilco: "Who the hell are you" Heronius_Napalm: I ready magical fires. Lucas_Strongbow: He mumbles through a mouthful of chocolate and foil Milo_Magnus: My name is... Milo_Magnus: Milo Milo_Magnus: Milo magnus Igfig: You're a great assassin, Milo Milo_Magnus: *holds out fand to lucas strongbow Milo_Magnus: *hand Wilco: You look more like Gay Mcfaggotson to me Brigsby: "That's a stupid name." Heronius_Napalm: Sounds like a dwarven name. Milo_Magnus: If that's the name you prefer Thorn_the_Gnoll grunts. Lucas_Strongbow: I shake his hand Wilco: I reach out Milo_Magnus: uh Wilco: "Glad to have you on board" Milo_Magnus: I see his hands are covered in meled chocolate and pastules Far-Walker: "Is that all you ever do when greeting someone, Thorn?" Wilco: *cough* Far-Walker: "Grunt?" Milo_Magnus: I politely give him a wink in stead Milo_Magnus: and a bow Wilco: I wipe them on his shirt Milo_Magnus: NOT A WINK Milo_Magnus: A BOW Wilco: then reach out my hand again Milo_Magnus: gingerly Wilco: Wow buddy Wilco: I'm taken Milo_Magnus: I grasp his finger Milo_Magnus: and shake Wilco: by that.... unconscious dragon over there Thorn_the_Gnoll grunts again. Wilco: Thorn you need to be more polite Wilco: try a good ol' 'how do you do' " Heronius_Napalm: That /is/ thorn being polite Milo_Magnus: I grunt in reply Heronius_Napalm: Usually he just bites things and scratches himself. Milo_Magnus: it is a deep throaty grunt Thorn_the_Gnoll grunts indignantly. Lucas_Strongbow: At some point in this adventure, Thorn needs a cone around his head Lucas_Strongbow: Purely for comedy Heronius_Napalm: Yes Heronius_Napalm: I agree Wilco: Yup Far-Walker: "Thorn, articulate your disproval. Or your face will freeze like that." Milo_Magnus: I grunt again and stap my feet Milo_Magnus: and knock over a nearby table Heronius_Napalm: Why was there a table there? Wilco: Oh no not another one Heronius_Napalm: And was it necessary to knock it over? Wilco: That table was atrocious Wilco: It clashed with the rust brown of the area around us Far-Walker: It was a table with floral prints. We were doing it a favor Milo_Magnus: I understand the pleasantries of over fifty sentient lifeforms Milo_Magnus: and that table needed to die Milo_Magnus: let it go, an Milo_Magnus: man Lucas_Strongbow: Some like table flipping Lucas_Strongbow: But anyway, tell us about yourself Milo_Magnus: I... Wilco: "What's your favourite way to cook a steak?" Milo_Magnus: I smile Milo_Magnus: three flips Milo_Magnus: medium rare Wilco: YOU FUCKING WHORE Wilco: I charge at him Milo_Magnus: and smothered in worcestire Lucas_Strongbow: No, we hire this guy Lucas_Strongbow: he is correct on steak cooking Wilco: And punch him right in the god damn face Igfig: Attack roll..? Thorn_the_Gnoll bares his teeth and growls. Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Better?" Milo_Magnus: NO Wilco: No it wasn't for damage Milo_Magnus: I somersault out of the way Igfig: yeah, but see if you connect Heronius_Napalm: I chuckle Milo_Magnus: 1d20+11 somersault Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, somersault: [20] = 31 Wilco: 1d20+4 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+4: [2] = 6 Wilco: OH HOLY SHIT Far-Walker: Acrobatic fucking pirouette more like it. Lucas_Strongbow: You suck Wilco Wilco: also it was +9 Heronius_Napalm: Your fat lumbering punch hits nothing but air Wilco: I star weezing from the exhaustion of sprinting at him Far-Walker: He has gained Far-Walker's respect for the mad flips and shit. Heronius_Napalm: I find him mildly amusing. Wilco: "I could still beat you in an eating contest" Milo_Magnus: oh holy shit Wilco: "They don't call me bottomless Wilco for nothing" Lucas_Strongbow: So what skills do you have apart from embarrassing Wilco, because frankly, that ain't special Igfig: In the future, Milo, note that for something like that it would just be an attack against your AC, and Acrobatics wouldn't be involved Milo_Magnus: okay Wilco: Igfig you'll have to correct him a lot with stuff like that Milo_Magnus: I wanted to somersault Igfig: you could make an "AC check" though, I guess, which would be 1d20+(your AC - 10) Milo_Magnus: AND I FUCKING DID Far-Walker: "They call him bottomless Wilco because, despite his fat, he does not have a decent ass. Like, at all." Igfig: That, that you did Wilco: His flip was so graceful Wilco: it was like a swan except not at all Far-Walker: He hung in the air in exactly the way bricks don't. Far-Walker: (reference) Igfig: He jumped so well he missed the ground, you're saying? Wilco: (I don't get the reference, but I find the quote on it's own funny) Far-Walker: (Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The book, not the movie.) Fingers: Haha Heronius_Napalm: Sounds like douglas adams Heronius_Napalm: I knew it. Far-Walker: ding ding ding Milo_Magnus: I came from a monastery. I had fallen madly in love with one of the monks Wilco: I have read that book 5 times, and still remember nothing about it Wilco: So he IS gay Heronius_Napalm: Indeed. Wilco: I knew that wink wasn't an accident Igfig: there can be female monks in D&D Far-Walker: Monasteries are not co ed. Wilco: oh Milo_Magnus: (waiting for ou guys to figure out where I got MY name) Igfig: depending on the order, I guess Wilco: YOU GOT IT FROM A DAMN NAME MAKER Heronius_Napalm: A cereal box. Igfig: So. Milo_Magnus: I just gave you a hint Milo_Magnus: anyway Far-Walker: Far-Walker was originally going to be Star-Walker, but I thought it was too obvious Wilco: No wait he got prince lionheart from the name maker Wilco: anyways, let's move on Lucas_Strongbow: A lion told you in a dream Milo_Magnus: yes Milo_Magnus: shall we go to the junkyard then Milo_Magnus: I ask, having just now landed Igfig: Now that he's won your trust by doing backflips, go ahead Milo_Magnus: I keep behind wilco Milo_Magnus: sizing him up, looking for his weak points Wilco: As we walk I back up to beside him and ask Wilco: "So Milo, how much can you eat in one sitting?" Milo_Magnus: It depends Milo_Magnus: on the quality of the food Far-Walker: His fat-clogged arteries count as a weak point. Wilco: "Assuming it is completely average" Far-Walker: So, Applebee's food. Thorn_the_Gnoll continues the long standing gnollish tradition of disliking unfamiliar people. Brigsby: Ok, I gotta go to dinner. I'll try to be back in time. Milo_Magnus: I look at the Gnoll and bare my teeth Milo_Magnus: 1d20+5 diplomacy Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, diplomacy : [2] = 7 Heronius_Napalm: You really have no will to live. Milo_Magnus: we are not going to get along, clearly Thorn_the_Gnoll bares his teeth. Igfig: Welp, you continue across the junkyard with little external incident Thorn_the_Gnoll: 1d20+11 Intimidate Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, Intimidate: [6] = 17 Far-Walker: Are there old newspapers in this junkyard? Igfig: although your internal strife appears to be plenty Milo_Magnus: I take a step back Thorn_the_Gnoll: Apparently still a little sleepy after the eel fight. Milo_Magnus: making a mental note Far-Walker: Far rolls one up and smacks thorn lightly with it. Igfig: You do not see any newspapers, no Igfig: well, okay Far-Walker: any piece of paper will do Milo_Magnus: I look around for a possible place to get Wilco alone Milo_Magnus: 1d20+17 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+17: [7] = 24 Heronius_Napalm: Wilco is so fat that he is always next to everyone. Far-Walker: The dessert bar Igfig: Far, you find a sheaf of plasticky paper-stuff with unreadable text on it, which would be suitable Lucas_Strongbow: +17? Milo_Magnus: perception Lucas_Strongbow: whaaat Milo_Magnus: cheya Igfig: That's your passive perception, Milo Thorn_the_Gnoll: Your pereception is just +7, yar. Igfig: You have a Perception of +7 Thorn_the_Gnoll: perception* Lucas_Strongbow: Woo Milo_Magnus: oh Milo_Magnus: 14 then Lucas_Strongbow: I was about to ask what level you were Lucas_Strongbow: and why you were wasting your time with us Igfig: If you aren't looking for something specifically, I can compare stuff to your passive perception to find out if you the character see something, without tipping you the player off. Igfig: anyway Milo_Magnus: yes Milo_Magnus: I'm looking for a spot to get wilco alone Wilco: I take a gander for something we can use for the ship Lucas_Strongbow: Gay Milo_Magnus: preferably with a good escape route Wilco: 1d20+1 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+1: [19] = 20 Wilco: WOOO Igfig: Everybody's relatively close together, so there's not much opportunity to do that in the normal course of the walk Milo_Magnus: ah Igfig: There's lots of cover and stuff around, though Milo_Magnus: good to know Igfig: But if you want to get Wilco alone, you'll have to make it happen yourself Lucas_Strongbow: So gay Wilco: After that wink he has no hope Milo_Magnus: so Far-Walker: Sloppy makeouts Milo_Magnus: what are you guys looking for here in particular? Wilco: "Mighty fine question right thar" Igfig: and Wilco, you turn up... what sort of thing are you lookign for? Wilco: Ummm Wilco: engine... stuff? Igfig: You find some kind of wind-up toy Wilco: AWESOME Far-Walker: CRANK DAT Wilco: *I spin the SHIT out of it* Wilco: then put it on the ground and let it go Milo_Magnus: I watch the wind up toy Milo_Magnus: it canters Wilco: it's a horse? Milo_Magnus: no Igfig: It stands up on a thick leg and hops. Wilco: I was imagining the toy cars from fallout Wilco: *teehee* Milo_Magnus: that's stupid Igfig: which sort of looks like a canter, from a certain angle Wilco: if you squint Igfig: good hops, bout a meter each Far-Walker: or if you take a photo proving that at one point, all one legs are off the ground at the same time Milo_Magnus: yup Milo_Magnus: so Igfig: until it lands on a slanted piece of corrugated metal, slips, and falls over Milo_Magnus: have we found what we are looking for? Far-Walker: :c Wilco: =( Wilco: I pick it up and put it in my pocket Wilco: We may be able to use this Igfig: kay Milo_Magnus: I look over Wilco for weak points Wilco: 1d20+1 insight to sense why Milo keeps looking at me greedily Fortuna: Wilco, insight to sense why Milo keeps looking at me greedily: [6] = 7 Wilco: fuck Fingers: Can I make a perception check to find something cool in the junk? Far-Walker: I'd like to find cool junk stuff too Igfig: It came to rest about fifteen meters away from the path you guys were following, so you have to go off to the side a bit and over a pile of stuff to pick it up Milo_Magnus: I go to pick it up Lucas_Strongbow: Into the waiting maw of a junk reature Wilco: HEY THAT'S MINE Lucas_Strongbow: creature Igfig: uh, sure the rest of you can try too I guess Wilco: I chase after him and tackle him Far-Walker: 1d20+7 Perception Fortuna: Far-Walker, Perception: [4] = 11 Wilco: 1d20+9 athletics Fortuna: Wilco, athletics: [7] = 16 Milo_Magnus: Seeing Wilco behind me Milo_Magnus: I turn and raise my dagger Wilco: TACKLED Far-Walker: like a fish Fingers: 1d20+3 perception Fortuna: Fingers, perception: [15] = 18 Wilco: I am wearing thick plate mail Milo_Magnus: 1d20+2 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+2: [3] = 5 Wilco: also I don't think we are fully hidden Wilco: wow Wilco: good work Milo_Magnus: my dagger bounces harmlessly off the sheet metal Wilco: also my ac is 25 Igfig: you should make an actual attack against Fortitude to tackle him, Wilco Wilco: you'll need at least a 5 multiplier Milo_Magnus: I swear loudly Wilco: 1d20+9 vs fort "YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL ME YOU BASTARD" Fortuna: Wilco, vs fort "YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL ME YOU BASTARD": [5] = 14 Wilco: shit Milo_Magnus: it was an accident Far-Walker: might still be good Igfig: That's actually enough to beat Milo's Fort Wilco: You pulled your dagger out and pointed it at me Far-Walker: Yup, scrawny dude Wilco: that is not an accident Thorn_the_Gnoll: Dun dun duns. Igfig: so you bear Milo to the ground Wilco: I stare right at him and bare my teath Wilco: 1d20+10 "explain why you are ehere, NOW" Fortuna: Wilco, "explain why you are ehere, NOW": [16] = 26 Wilco: here* Igfig: you guys are now out of sight from the others, behind a pile of stuff Milo_Magnus: I attempt to wiggle out underneath him Milo_Magnus: 1d20+11acrobatics Milo_Magnus: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+11: [15] = 26 Igfig: Far, you don't find much in your search... some wobbly springs in various colours Heronius_Napalm laughs uncontrollably. Wilco: hey hey, that intimidate has to count for something Far-Walker: Far pockets colorful springs because COLOR Far-Walker: he does not care about the totally-not-homo tackling happening feet away Wilco: "Well?" Milo_Magnus: did you get my acrobatics check? Igfig: Technically you can't just initmidate another PC Lucas_Strongbow: It's like Top Gun Wilco: Oh Igfig: but that is also pretty intimidating Far-Walker: Diplomacy and Intimidte don't work PvP Lucas_Strongbow: Wilco and Milo are Maverick and Iceman Wilco: How does that work then? Milo_Magnus: we tied Igfig: yeah... Wilco: I got the higher roll in the first place Wilco: So I am the victor Igfig: what? Wilco: nothing I was just messing around Milo_Magnus: You fat fool Igfig: I think you both end up face-to-face, real close in Milo_Magnus: I'm here to kill you Igfig: emotional standoff Far-Walker: SLOPPY MAKEOUT Wilco: I pull out my sword and point it at him Wilco: "I'd like to see you try" Igfig: you're prone, Wilco Lucas_Strongbow: Take my breath away... Igfig: you both are Milo_Magnus: I level my crossbow at his head Far-Walker: you're both prone Milo_Magnus: I think I can fire a crossbow prone Wilco: we are both prone Milo_Magnus: I don't think he'll have much luck with a sword Lucas_Strongbow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEOem7U2LPE Wilco: PUNCH IN THE FACE Lucas_Strongbow: Throughout this whole fight Igfig: yeah, you tackled Milo and are on top of him Wilco: 1d20+9 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+9: [13] = 22 Wilco: vs ac Far-Walker: Now that's a punch in the face Igfig: More like +6, Wilco. Igfig: You're using your fist, not a sword. Far-Walker: no proficiency bonus Wilco: oh right Wilco: 19 then Wilco: I think that still beats his ac though Thorn_the_Gnoll: Nope. Wilco: Milo Igfig: yeah, not quite Milo_Magnus: my AC is 20 Milo_Magnus: now then Milo_Magnus: I fire my crossbow Wilco: fuck it, I'll add heroic effort Wilco: +4 Wilco: 23 Igfig: okay, you hit him Far-Walker: that's one heroic punch Wilco: PUNCHED Milo_Magnus: not really Igfig: damage is d4 Milo_Magnus: imagine him wriggling in the mud Lucas_Strongbow: Notice how none of us are running to Wilco's aid Wilco: my str mod? Igfig: you guys can't really see them Igfig: yeah, plus str Milo_Magnus: flailing his fat arms haphazardly at the expert crossbowman Wilco: add my str mod? Wilco: 1d4+4 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d4+4: [3] = 7 Far-Walker: Nice Wilco: *POW* Lucas_Strongbow: Can hear it, surely Far-Walker: Yeah that was all-caps yelling right there Milo_Magnus: I fire my crossbow Milo_Magnus: 1d20+8 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+8: [16] = 24 Wilco: miss Igfig: You treat hand crossbows as off-hand weapons, right? Far-Walker: isn't it an OA for ranged attack within melee? Milo_Magnus: I carry two Igfig: that too Igfig: but wait Igfig: also, Wilco lemme check your AC Wilco: 1d4+4 OA Fortuna: Wilco, OA: [2] = 6 Far-Walker: you still gotta roll the attack Igfig: Oh dammit wiloc Igfig: Your AC isn't 25 Wilco: did I mess it up? Igfig: Yeah, you did Igfig: Your armour is heavy armour Wilco: Crap, how bad? Wilco: I thought it was only heavy if you weren't trained in it Igfig: You need to check the "Heavy" box in the Defenses thing Igfig: and what? No. Wilco: okay 23, that is a hit then Igfig: okay Wilco: I still got that oa for ranged in melee ra Igfig: yeah, and you missed Wilco: U rolled a 1d4 Wilco: I thought oa's were auto hit? Igfig: oh Igfig: no Thorn_the_Gnoll: No they aren't. Wilco: argh Wilco: 1d20+6 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+6: [14] = 20 Igfig: That a hit, Milo? Milo_Magnus: my ac is 20 Lucas_Strongbow: "What the hell are you guys doing over there?" Igfig: yeah, it's a hit Wilco: "THIS BASTARD WAS AN ASSASSIN" Wilco: 1d4+4 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d4+4: [3] = 7 Far-Walker: "Who would ever want to kill you?" Far-Walker: "Well, I mean, commit time to it." Igfig: ANyway Milo, Wilco is prone, so he's granting combat advantage Far-Walker: "And resources." Milo_Magnus: well then Wilco: he is also prone though Heronius_Napalm: His mother, most likely Milo_Magnus: I shoot him some more with my hand bows Milo_Magnus: 1d20+8 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+8: [8] = 16 Wilco: it's like a baby fight here Wilco: hahah Igfig: you have to roll damage for that last attack, Milo Wilco: miss Milo_Magnus: oh yeah Milo_Magnus: 1d8+6 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d8+6: [4] = 10 Wilco: I stand up Wilco: "You done fucked up now boy" Milo_Magnus: no Milo_Magnus: not done my turn Igfig: Sneak Attack, Milo Lucas_Strongbow: This is so awesome Igfig: Extra damage. Wilco: how much more? Milo_Magnus: how much extra damage? Poen joined #pwot_dnd. Thorn_the_Gnoll: 2d6 Fortuna: Thorn_the_Gnoll, 2d6: [4, 1] = 5 Far-Walker: Poen! So glad you could join. Far-Walker: We're watching two men wrestle in the mud Milo_Magnus: so he takes 15 damage Thorn_the_Gnoll: Unless you'd rather roll your sneak attack damage yourself. Milo_Magnus: 2d6 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 2d6: [6, 3] = 9 Poen: Recap in OOC please? Thanks, and sorry for the lateness. Milo_Magnus: yeah I like mine better Wilco: dang Igfig: Also, Milo, your attack and damage workspace on your sheet appear to be messed up Milo_Magnus: thanks Thorn! Milo_Magnus: yes that is correct Igfig: which is weird, because I remember filling them in Milo_Magnus: it should not be 1d8+6 it should be 1d6+1 Wilco: okay now I stand up Milo_Magnus: 1d6+1 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d6+1: [3] = 4 Milo_Magnus: so yeah Milo_Magnus: 13 damage Fingers: "Wilco, quit being a loser." Wilco: ugh Wilco: ther Igfig: I think you should have a +12 bonus with your crossbows Wilco: "OKAY NOW YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW BOY" Igfig: to attack, I mean Milo_Magnus: ooooo Thorn_the_Gnoll: He was firing on a prone person though, that gives a penalty for ranged attacks. Milo_Magnus: we were right next to each other Fingers: Improved Majestic Word, to call Wilco a dumbass. Gives him Healing surge+4hp and an additional 4 temporary hp Wilco: oh thanks fingers! Wilco: I like fingers best Fingers: "Dumb~aasssssssssssss!" Milo_Magnus: I use my agile footwork to position myself 3 spaces away Igfig: and your damage should be...uh... Milo_Magnus: because wilco ended his turn adjacent to me Wilco: So turn is done now? Wilco: I'll take that as a yes Igfig: 1d8+5, or 1d8+6 if you're closest to the target Wilco: Milo? Wilco: did milo explode? Igfig: I dunno Wilco: uuhh Igfig: Also I notice that Milo forgot his Artful Dodger bonus to AC against OAs Wilco: He used all his actions anyways Igfig: so your OA would have missed Wilco: oh well Wilco: I stand up "You finally done fucked up boy" Igfig: wow, this battle has been something of a clusterfuck Thorn_the_Gnoll: It has. Wilco: I draw my sword, and it bursts into golden flames Wilco: I use Holy smite with Valiant Strike Wilco: 1d20+10 vs ac Fortuna: Wilco, vs ac: [3] = 13 Wilco: FUCKING SHIT Wilco: WHAT THE GOD DAMN FORTUNA Fortuna: I beg your pardon? Wilco: WHAT WAS THAT FOR Milo_Magnus: what Milo_Magnus: Fortuna is a person? Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wilco, remember what happened the last time you bad mouthed Fortuna? Wilco: I DON'T CARE Heronius_Napalm: I like Fortuna Milo_Magnus: I love you fortuna Fortuna smiles shyly. Wilco: I hate fortuna Fortuna: Mm-hmm. Far-Walker: I love Fortuna Fortuna smiles shyly. Wilco: I prefer dicepony Igfig: Fortuna is our dicebot. Milo_Magnus: =D Fingers: Fortuna is a thing Far-Walker: Fortuna is sexy Fingers: That does other things Thorn_the_Gnoll: You know Wilco, Fortuna may treat you better if you were nice to it all the time instead of only when you're trying to get a good roll. Fingers: With it's things Igfig: That reminds me Wilco: Can I use Cliff Hurling to throw him onto the junk piles difficult terrain? Wilco: it's a free action Thorn_the_Gnoll: If you really feel the need to use up your boon. Igfig: I need to give Fortuna more dialogue, she's starting to repeat herself Wilco: they are daily's now Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh. Wilco: thorn boons are daily's now Igfig: also, I think you have to have made an actual pushing attack, Wilco Wilco: dammit all my power's require an ally to get hurt first Wilco: okay Wilco: I guess I will move closer to him Wilco: no wait Far-Walker: Far-Walker hurts himself by laughing too hard Far-Walker: there. Wilco: can I take cover behind one of the junk piles? Far-Walker: Now you have powers Milo_Magnus: get away from me Milo_Magnus: your stench is awful Igfig: sure Wilco: I take cover behind one Wilco: end turn Wilco: is that minor cover? Igfig: yeah Wilco: okay Wilco: MILO Igfig: you stay in the same region, mind you Milo_Magnus: yeah? Wilco: your turn Milo_Magnus: can I fire both my handbows at once? Igfig: just sort of hunched in behind some stuff Igfig: sorry Milo Milo_Magnus: damn Igfig: you don't have any powers that do that Milo_Magnus: that was the point of two, you know Thorn_the_Gnoll: Too bad crossbow expertise allows Milo to ignore cover. Milo_Magnus: anyway Milo_Magnus: I fire the second one Milo_Magnus: 1d20+8 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+8: [18] = 26 Milo_Magnus: that's a hit Fingers quit. Wilco: the second one is off hand right? Wilco: oh god dammit Igfig: I know, Milo. You should look into picking up some double-shot powers. Wilco: why does no one inform me of these things? Wilco: I never have anyone else's sheets open Igfig: Your character wouldn't know. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Yeah. Wilco: I guess, but still Thorn_the_Gnoll: Only reason I know that is from some character I made who uses a crossbow. Wilco: oh, okay Igfig: Roll damage, Milo. Heronius_Napalm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phozEMplJ0M Milo_Magnus: 1d8+6 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d8+6: [6] = 12 Wilco: Also today I learned wilco isn't very useful unless he is fighting someone in melee range Heronius_Napalm: That is what I am seeing here. Igfig: How much damage have you guys taken? Far-Walker: oh my god Hero, YES. Wilco: what is that hero? Wilco: I can't be bothered to watch it Igfig: heheheh, this is true Far-Walker: You need to Wilco: I got healed, so only 8 Heronius_Napalm: That is you guys fighting. Lucas_Strongbow: That is the internet Lucas_Strongbow: That video perfectly sums up the internet Wilco: is it a movie scene or something Wilco: ? Thorn_the_Gnoll: Home movie on youtube. Wilco: anyways milo, anything else? Milo_Magnus: I level another shot in his direction with Sky Flourish Igfig: You already attacked this round. Milo_Magnus: 1d20+7 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+7: [5] = 12 Milo_Magnus: 1d20+7 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+7: [20] = 27 Milo_Magnus: oh Milo_Magnus: then I'm done Wilco: Milo I've already told you that Milo_Magnus: oh FUCK Igfig: Are you using your action point to attack again? Wilco: hahaha, waste of a 20 Milo_Magnus: yes I am Igfig: oh well Milo_Magnus: damn it Milo_Magnus: please tell me you cont that 20 Wilco: nope Lucas_Strongbow: That fight starts out funny, but a few minutes in it is just depressing Thorn_the_Gnoll: You rolled the 5 first I'm afraid. Igfig: If you'd attacked a second time, I'd be using the 12 Igfig: yeah Milo_Magnus: fair enough Milo_Magnus: that's fair Igfig: okay, someone want to come in here and break this up? Wilco: No Wilco: let me get atleast one hit on him Far-Walker: Nope. Wilco: I need to redeem wilco Wilco: he is a terrible character that I made when I didn't know how to play the game Wilco: and for that he must be proven worthy Thorn_the_Gnoll: Maybe, Thorn heads over where he can see all this happening anyways. Lucas_Strongbow: I will, I guess Lucas_Strongbow: helps when you have a gun Heronius_Napalm: Most of us are watching, and laughing hysterically Wilco: I imagine you guys all watching from behind a hill Wilco: popcorn and everything Lucas_Strongbow: Placing bets Wilco: so is it my turn? Heronius_Napalm: I made us some chairs Igfig: yeah Wilco: I charge at him Wilco: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+11: [3] = 14 Wilco: SERIOUSLY FORTUNA Wilco: SERIOUSLY Wilco: WHAT Wilco: THE Wilco: FUCK Far-Walker: The rest of us find some lawn chairs Far-Walker: Sit the fuck down. Far-Walker: and watch Wilco: okay I'll action point and try an attack again Wilco: valiant strike with holy smite Wilco: 1d20+11 vs ac Fortuna: Wilco, vs ac: [15] = 26 Wilco: FINALLY Heronius_Napalm starts making hilarous sounds Heronius_Napalm crowd cheering Igfig: That means you can do stuff. Wilco: 1d8+4+5 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d8+4+5: [1] = 10 Wilco: GOD DAMMIT FORTUNA I HATE YOU Fortuna: Excuse me? Wilco: YOU HEARD ME Lucas_Strongbow: It's like watching a hamster try to crawl out of a sink Heronius_Napalm crowd Laughs Milo_Magnus: be nice to luna Wilco: No Wilco: umm Wilco: end turn Wilco: oh well I got my hit Wilco: the fight can be broken up now Lucas_Strongbow: I guess I point my gun at Milo Far-Walker: I'm kind of imagining the rest of us looking like the opening to king of the hill Wilco: I should try and get wilco killed so I can bring in Cynthia or Jigsaw, jigsaw needs to be edited for obvious reasons first though Igfig: Aaaah, chatlag Heronius_Napalm: I use prestidigitation to make an illusory wall of fire. Heronius_Napalm: Between our adorable combatants Milo_Magnus: Jigsaw is a pony Thorn_the_Gnoll uses Ghost Sound to make the illusory wall of fire sound like fire. Wilco: yes Wilco: which is why he needs to be edited Wilco: actually Wilco: I am perfectly willing to let jigsaw act as a mount too Wilco: but I don't think the rest of the people would like that Heronius_Napalm: too many jokes in it. Wilco: Anyways, there is a big wall of fire between us Wilco: Jigsaw looks badass though Heronius_Napalm: "That's quite enough." Wilco: he has sunglasses Wilco: and I am going to give him side burns soon Wilco: I look at hero, then at Milo Igfig: I don't think you can make an illusion that big with prestidigitation Wilco: I lower my sword Igfig: but whatevs Wilco: "you're right" Heronius_Napalm: I am Heronius Napalm XVI. I can make a wall of fake fire. Igfig: yeah, probably Wilco: but not a real one Wilco: I GET IT NOW Heronius_Napalm: Anyway, you guys talk it out. Wilco: Heronius NAPALM Wilco: NAPALM Wilco: FIRE Wilco: OH MAN Wilco: It's all so clear to me nowe Wilco: now* Igfig: *facepalm* Heronius_Napalm: wow... just, wow. Thorn_the_Gnoll: What the DM did. Milo_Magnus: I surrender my next turn Heronius_Napalm facepalm Wilco: that is worthy of the painfully obvious thread Heronius_Napalm: That is worthy of a penalty boon. Igfig: Okay. Get a move on with this, Milo & Wilco. Thorn_the_Gnoll: -2 penalty to perception or insight? Milo_Magnus: do his friend know I am an assassin now? Igfig: This interlude is running way, way too long Thorn_the_Gnoll: It's pretty obvious. Far-Walker: I thought it was the story Igfig: Since Wilco was shouting "Assassin!", and everybody was watching the fight, yeah, probably Heronius_Napalm: This is Canon Milo_Magnus: then I surrender Milo_Magnus: nothing else I can do Milo_Magnus: I drop my crossbows and raise my hands up Heronius_Napalm: Alright, let's get him a nice fat contract to sign. Milo_Magnus: my gambit has failed Far-Walker: DICK PUNCH Heronius_Napalm: I need more people indebted to me indefinately. Wilco: 1d20+6 dick punch Fortuna: Wilco, dick punch: [16] = 22 Wilco: 1d4+4 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d4+4: [3] = 7 Igfig 4sigh Wilco: hahaha Thorn_the_Gnoll baps Wilco on the head with his own helmet. Wilco: I'm wearing my helmet, how did you do that Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+8 hypnotism on wilco Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, hypnotism on wilco: [7] = 15 Heronius_Napalm: vs will Igfig: Milo has surrendered. What now, guys? Lucas_Strongbow: Lift it up, slam it back on Wilco: I se Lucas_Strongbow: the helmet Far-Walker: Let Hero do his signing Wilco: I see Heronius_Napalm: We get him a contract to sign. Heronius_Napalm: I own him now. Far-Walker: We like this guy's moxy Wilco: As long as he promises not to try and kill me Heronius_Napalm: Just like the rest of you. Wilco: he reminds me of that elf in dragon age Heronius_Napalm: That's in the contract. Lucas_Strongbow: And then ask who hired him Far-Walker: Milo totally is that elf from dragon age Milo_Magnus: I was ordered to kill him Wilco: By who Milo_Magnus: by my master Milo_Magnus: I can't go back now Wilco: Who is your master Wilco: And why not Milo_Magnus: I failed Wilco: I see Wilco: So you can't go back? Milo_Magnus: if you're still alive they'll assume I was killed in combat Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Do I get to eat him if he doesn't sign the contract?" Wilco: "Yes thorn" Far-Walker: "To your heart's content" Milo_Magnus: But I'm not ready to die yet Wilco: Well, then I think you should join our ba- group" Milo_Magnus: The Dark Elves taught me a lot Milo_Magnus: but they didn't give me their pride Milo_Magnus: ... I suppose Wilco: That way your master can't kill you for failing. And this entire group doesn't have to kill you for making us lose a band member Milo_Magnus: a band you say? Far-Walker: (Whenever I think of Dark Elves, I always think of Elder Scrolls Dunmer) Wilco: I MEAN Wilco: (fuck!) Milo_Magnus: I pull out my lyre and strum Wilco: WAIT A MINUTE Wilco: THIS GUY IS A FUCKING ELF Wilco: A Wilco: FUCKING Wilco: ELF Milo_Magnus: I'm playing as a Dunmer in my oblivion game right now, actually Milo_Magnus: I'm not an elf Milo_Magnus: I'm a human Heronius_Napalm: Yuckkk another one of these music tupes. Wilco: oh Wilco: uh Lucas_Strongbow: He needs a better instrument Wilco: never mind then Heronius_Napalm: types* Wilco: I don't know why I thought that Far-Walker: "We don't use lyres." Heronius_Napalm: I set his lyre on fire. Igfig: Electric lute? Igfig: oh Wilco: yes Wilco: sounds awesome Igfig: er, lyre Far-Walker: Far-Walker demonstrates proper rock and roll style Far-Walker: 1d20+12 Perform Fortuna: Far-Walker, Perform: [14] = 26 Wilco: 1d20+8 preform Fortuna: Wilco, preform: [2] = 10 Wilco: I hate wilco Igfig: also, Milo are you letting him set your lyre on fire? Thorn_the_Gnoll: It does rhyme. Wilco: fire lyre Milo_Magnus: yes Igfig: okay Milo_Magnus: if it makes me rock harder Milo_Magnus: 1d20 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20: [9] = 9 Milo_Magnus: I need practice Heronius_Napalm: Also, you are strumming a piece of flaming lumber Wilco: that is awesome Wilco: this guy needs to join Igfig: Pretty sure your perform bonus is, like, +11 Igfig: also fire Milo_Magnus: 1d20+11 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+11: [13] = 24 Milo_Magnus: _5 for the fire Milo_Magnus: +5 for the fire Lucas_Strongbow: This guy's got potential Igfig: heheh Wilco: hmmm Wilco: *strokes beard* Lucas_Strongbow: Raised by dark elves. Pretty metal Wilco: I like it Heronius_Napalm: As long as he brings in more money. Heronius_Napalm: We will market him as the moody one. Far-Walker: "You don't think the elves could be behind his assassination attempt, do you?" Heronius_Napalm: Get him to wear eye-liner or something. Milo_Magnus: no shit sherlock Far-Walker: "What I'm saying is that yes definitely elves are behind this, why haven't we killed all of them yet?" Lucas_Strongbow: Wait, the elves know we're here? Milo_Magnus: I was handed a scroll for wilco's head and the promise of 1000 gold and four new wives Milo_Magnus: by the way Thorn_the_Gnoll: "Because we haven't come across them yet." Wilco: Four new wives? Milo_Magnus: I'm leaving a dozen bitches for you guys Igfig: Man, dark elves on this planet are weird Milo_Magnus: wait Milo_Magnus: 10000 gold Wilco: "We need to get off this trash planet, and defeat these elves" Milo_Magnus: my b Milo_Magnus: ... Igfig: usually it's the women who have harems Milo_Magnus: I'm not going to kill my mentor Wilco: what the heck is a harem Milo_Magnus: or hurt his people Far-Walker: We'll tell you when you're older Wilco: bastard Heronius_Napalm: We are going to the planet that has all of the elves on it, and we are going to set it on fire. Igfig: also, 1000 gold is more likely than 10000 gold, at your levels Milo_Magnus: no Milo_Magnus: someone seriously wanted wilco dead Far-Walker: Wilco wanted wilco dead Far-Walker: He plotted assassination against himself! Far-Walker: Bam. Bug sherlock solves another mystery. Far-Walker: Bill's on the table. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wait, we need a twist. Igfig: Get off the table, Bill Wilco: "Darnit, how did you know" Heronius_Napalm: This situation has deteriorated quite completely. Far-Walker: Also, Wilco's Tyler Durden. Wilco: Who is that? Thorn_the_Gnoll: There's actually someone hidden within the massive folds of Wilco's fat, his long lost and much skinnier evil twin. Wilco: "Oh right we were searching for parts" Igfig: okay, this is getting silly Igfig: yes Wilco: 1d20+1 to get this shit back on track and find some more parts Fortuna: Wilco, to get this shit back on track and find some more parts: [10] = 11 Wilco: well Wilco: that's a shame Igfig: Not much in the way of interesting parts, here Milo_Magnus: yeah Far-Walker: We continue to the bus Milo_Magnus: anyways Milo_Magnus: I joined your group Thorn_the_Gnoll continues heading back towards the shuttle. Milo_Magnus: igfig Igfig: Okay Wilco: *follows* Milo_Magnus: everything we talked about before is still on the table Milo_Magnus: let's move on Milo_Magnus: get bitches Milo_Magnus: fuck money Milo_Magnus: wait Igfig: We can talk about that more later Igfig: and okay Igfig: Since this hike has already taken long enough Igfig: you get to the ship as the sun begins to draw low on the horizon Wilco: yayy Igfig: the Bus Wilco: LET'S LOAD IT ONTO THE BATTLEWAGON GUYS Heronius_Napalm: Extended rest! Thorn_the_Gnoll: Why? Igfig: Sark is happy to see you, and also ravenous Far-Walker: also dead Wilco: I think we need to put him down Wilco: poor guy Igfig: ... Igfig: well, uh Igfig: it might be a little grim if you just found him dead Heronius_Napalm: Give him some food. Heronius_Napalm: Pancakes Lucas_Strongbow: Be worse if we found him dying Far-Walker: Can we release him? Far-Walker: Like a Pokemon? Heronius_Napalm: Pancakes for everyone. Igfig: Oh, also the Gratch guy is still here Far-Walker: I say we release him like a Pokemon Wilco: Good ol' gratch Igfig: They repaired the Battlewagon Wilco: maybe he can help us rebuild Wilco: YAY Wilco: THE BATTLEWAGON Igfig: Actually, he probably could help Heronius_Napalm: He has been to space Heronius_Napalm: And he knows doors Wilco: Okay let's get the bus onto the battlewagon Igfig: Your Gratch may not know much about building ships, but he knows a hell of a lot about doors. Wilco: Why? Igfig: Pretty sure the Bus is bigger than the Battle wagon Wilco: then it will be like banjo kazooie Wilco: where we sort of balance it ontop Igfig: also the bus is faster, and can fly Lucas_Strongbow: can we not fly it? Wilco: NO WE CAN'T Heronius_Napalm: We will be flying it Wilco: I just want to drive the battlewagon again Heronius_Napalm: Don't listen to mavrick. Heronius_Napalm: You can ride it back if you like Wilco: yay! Igfig: last time you guys drove the battlewagon, remember, you rolled it into a ditch. Heronius_Napalm: But we won't come back for you, or wait for you. Wilco: I get in the battlewagon Wilco: wave a salute Heronius_Napalm: and if you die I will leave you there. Wilco: okay Wilco: "Guys I need you to ram this with the ship" Wilco: "give me a good boost" Heronius_Napalm: Fire the cannon at it. Lucas_Strongbow: We're not doing that Lucas_Strongbow: the pushing Milo_Magnus: you're not a very bright band of adventurer's are you? Heronius_Napalm: Just wilco Heronius_Napalm: He is special Wilco: "Would you rather blow up the battlewagon?" Heronius_Napalm: YHes Wilco: "That is because you are evil" Wilco: "someone either shoot this to get it going, or ram it with the bus" Heronius_Napalm: Brigsby is the only one who works the gun. Wilco: oh yeah, is mop in here with me? Heronius_Napalm: n Heronius_Napalm: o Wilco: okay Heronius_Napalm: Regardless, I start up the engine. Heronius_Napalm: 1d20+14 Arcana Fortuna: Heronius_Napalm, Arcana: [7] = 21 Igfig: Yeah, no problem Wilco: okay I guess I push the battlewagon and jump in Igfig: The wagon goes a few feet and stops Wilco: "god dammit!" Wilco: "I need some sort of a boost here!" Lucas_Strongbow: I take my obligatory pilots seat Igfig: and... guess you're all loaded up? Heronius_Napalm: Yup Far-Walker: yup Wilco: fine, I get in because you all suck and won't shoot the battlewagon Heronius_Napalm: I shoot the battlewagon after wilco is strapped in. Lucas_Strongbow: Because we won't blow it up? Heronius_Napalm: Then laugh at him Wilco: we shot it to get it going last time Heronius_Napalm: While the wagon burns Igfig: The back of the Battlewagon was a big armor plate Igfig: which you shot at to get it moving, yeah Milo_Magnus: Top bunk! Wilco: there are no bunks actualyl Milo_Magnus: I am so acrobatic Milo_Magnus: I stretch my legs out Milo_Magnus: and my body becomes the top bunk Poen catches up with the group Wilco: whoa Milo_Magnus: I am quite comfortable Wilco: I get on the top bunk Wilco: *CRACK* Wilco: oops... Wilco: Sorry Milo Igfig: more like slash am I right Poen: "Wilco, you broke the new guy?" Far-Walker: Yup. Far-Walker: Wilco/Milo shipping Wilco: gjfdklgdhgsj Igfig: Wilco is getting more than anyone else in the party Wilco: gah Heronius_Napalm: Even after lucas vowed to bone everything we met. Far-Walker: Only because if Far gets some, he gets his head eaten at the end of the night Poen: "Hi, new person. I'm Poen. I got forced into this insane lot too." Thorn_the_Gnoll: There is more of Wilco then anyone else in the party. Igfig: okay, you get the Bus in the air and go fly. Igfig: Where to? Milo_Magnus: I no longer have a spine Igfig: And what next? Wilco: did we leave the battlewagon behind/ Wilco: ? Milo_Magnus: worthy of being called a spine Milo_Magnus: we shoot off into the sunset Lucas_Strongbow: We'll make a new one Igfig: I dunno. You could have strapped it on, probably Milo_Magnus: cackling wildly\ Wilco: yeah we did Lucas_Strongbow: battlewagon mk.II Wilco: Milo flaps like a flag in the wind Heronius_Napalm: We go back to hurkon for now. Igfig: Okay Heronius_Napalm: to see what we have and what we need. Igfig: It's night now Heronius_Napalm: We will head to phalat later. Wilco: phalat? Igfig: so you could probably land somewhere without being seen Igfig: or not, as you like Lucas_Strongbow: Without being seen Lucas_Strongbow: Attention is never good for us Igfig: okay Igfig: where? Wilco: we are a band Wilco: we want attention Lucas_Strongbow: Within easy walking distance of whatever town we are going to Lucas_Strongbow: Don't need a bunch of yokels gawking at the flying machine Lucas_Strongbow: Hurkon or Phalat? Igfig: ...I guess that would be somewhere in the alleys of the Horkon ruins Igfig: okay Wilco: I thought they were the same place Igfig: ... Igfig: moving on Milo_Magnus: does our health return to normal? Igfig: after a short rest, yeah Igfig: which you got Igfig: Hagen's looked your ship over, and he can repair the damage and get the basic supplies (sails, rope, etc) for 500 gp total Wilco: I'll contribute my 100gp Igfig: half now, half upon delivery Wilco: wait can I use streetwise to try and lower the price or something? I haven't used that skill yet, and I don't really know what it does in the first place, but I have a really high mod for it Igfig: it'll take him about two weeks, probably Igfig: and no, you can't Wilco: okay Milo_Magnus: I also have a high streetwise Far-Walker: Streetwise = finding out information about things via talking to people Milo_Magnus: yeah Far-Walker: In other words, medieval Google. Milo_Magnus: that's why they call me milo the Magnificent Wilco: gah Wilco: is that actually it Wilco: ? Igfig: is what it? Lucas_Strongbow: It's more knowlesge of towns Wilco: milo the magnificent Wilco: it kind of sounds like milo magnus Igfig: Do you guys have the funds for this? Heronius_Napalm: dunno Milo_Magnus: yeah Milo_Magnus: figure it out waffle Milo_Magnus: I mean wilco Milo_Magnus: fuck Lucas_Strongbow: I think we might Milo_Magnus: figure it out, wilco Milo_Magnus: it's not that hard Heronius_Napalm: I have 600gp listed on my sheet, but I don't kow if that's accurate. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Guess I'll finish off the rest of the first half of the payment along with Wilco's 100 gold. Wilco: I can't thoough, that is why I am asking Milo_Magnus: I spent all my money enhancing my handbows Thorn_the_Gnoll: So I'll pay the other 150 of this first half. Milo_Magnus: google it Milo_Magnus: google milo the magnificent Wilco: uuuggghhhhh Milo_Magnus: I to will chip in 100 gp Poen: I will yawn and go to sleep. Poen: Good night, guys Wilco: it is a dog Igfig: Night Poen Wilco: milo the magnificent is a dog Poen left #pwot_dnd. Milo_Magnus: no Wilco: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhsuwxeODbI Igfig: Okay, so it'll be a while before the ship is ready Milo_Magnus: lets go into town Milo_Magnus: I want to leave a essage to my mentor Wilco: you told me to look up magnificent not minderbinder Igfig: Your mentor is back in Phalant, isn't he? Milo_Magnus: he is referred to as Milo the Magnificent Milo_Magnus: he is Milo_Magnus: he is waiting for me Igfig: and you guys are in Horkon Wilco: Well I got a dog when I looked it up, someone walking their dog Milo_Magnus: I don't know what he'll do if he sees us together Milo_Magnus: I want to send him a message though Igfig: okay, I guess you could do that Milo_Magnus: can we stop in the bar and look for someone headed to Phalant? Milo_Magnus: guys? Lucas_Strongbow: Bar!? Igfig: There are traders headed that way pretty often Lucas_Strongbow: most definitely Igfig: you find someone who could do that Igfig: My question is this: What are you guys going to do next? Thorn_the_Gnoll: And Drey and Wilco are very familiar with the bar here in Horkon. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Shippy probably is as well. Wilco: we left drey when she was knocked out back at the lake Igfig: The fancy shipwrights are in Phalant, but you don't have much cash to buy stuff from them Milo_Magnus: was is the ultimate destiny of this band Thorn_the_Gnoll: I haven't a clue what we ought to do, might be better off waiting till next week. Milo_Magnus: I should ask Milo_Magnus: what do you fellows want? Lucas_Strongbow: So that's the ship itself taken care of, what do we do now? Heronius_Napalm: Money. Milo_Magnus: I really have no future now that I'm gone Thorn_the_Gnoll: More people will be here by the sounds of it, Slim may be around. Igfig: The reason why I'm asking you guys now is so that I can prepare better for next week Milo_Magnus: a treasure planet maybe? Thorn_the_Gnoll: Ah i see. Milo_Magnus: a planet of treasure? Thorn_the_Gnoll: We can't get off this planet quite yet, hmmm.. Heronius_Napalm: we will likely head over to the other city for a look around Thorn_the_Gnoll: What will we need for the ship? Thorn_the_Gnoll: Maybe we should go dungeoneering? Milo_Magnus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4K_pjwPZLQ Milo_Magnus: yes Igfig: That will be your homework, to figure out what you need for the ship Milo_Magnus: lets get some money Milo_Magnus: and some thrusters Milo_Magnus: and Milo_Magnus: a deodorizer Milo_Magnus: motions towards wilco the fat Thorn_the_Gnoll: Right, thrusters we need since the ship won't work with just what the shuttle has. Thorn_the_Gnoll: So stuff to make thrusters with. Wilco: wha? Far-Walker: Giant wooden dong Far-Walker: We need one of those Far-Walker: I will not ride on a lady ship Heronius_Napalm: We will need to speak with an artificer, and possibly some other wizards. Heronius_Napalm: I want to upgrade or add to our engine. Igfig: Milo, you know that supposedly there're some dungeons and treasure and stuff in the forest to the south Thorn_the_Gnoll: And we'll need to find more money, either through dungeon looting or something else. Milo_Magnus: I do Milo_Magnus: I do actually Milo_Magnus: yes Heronius_Napalm: Well, there are two ways we can make money. Milo_Magnus: an abandoned shipyard Milo_Magnus: a graveyard actually Heronius_Napalm: Adventuring, and performing. Milo_Magnus: if we want thrusters Milo_Magnus: we should head there Milo_Magnus: but the place Milo_Magnus: like I said Lucas_Strongbow: and since they hate performing Milo_Magnus: is swarming with jackals Heronius_Napalm: ...if you say so. Milo_Magnus: I didn't want to head out alone Lucas_Strongbow: We need to get our dungeon on Thorn_the_Gnoll: We'll be fine dealing with jackales, and undead stuff, and yar. Heronius_Napalm: Murdering jackals seems like a good time. Thorn_the_Gnoll: I've been waiting to run in to some jackals again anyways. Milo_Magnus: you don't know what a jackal is Milo_Magnus: do you? Heronius_Napalm: Yes Thorn_the_Gnoll: Jackalweres? Milo_Magnus: it's a swarm lump of sentient scrap metal Heronius_Napalm: Stupid, annoying creatures. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Oh, that doesn't sound like a jackalwere at all. Milo_Magnus: hahahahaha Thorn_the_Gnoll: There goes my plan. Igfig: Milo, might want to make some Bluff checks there Milo_Magnus: http://image.jeuxvideo.com/images/x3/e/n/enslaved-odyssey-to-the-west-xbox-360-044.jpg Wilco: nice roll that one Milo_Magnus: I'm not bluffing Thorn_the_Gnoll: He'd have to bomb those checks to lose to our currently available passive insight checks. Milo_Magnus: 1d20+10 Fortuna: Milo_Magnus, 1d20+10: [20] = 30 Milo_Magnus: yeah Milo_Magnus: you fucks believe me so much Milo_Magnus: that they're real Milo_Magnus: hahahahahhahahaha Wilco: holy fuck Heronius_Napalm: I will just set you on fire. Heronius_Napalm: instead. Heronius_Napalm: until you stop being annoying. Milo_Magnus: did you get that igfig? Igfig: I did. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wouldn't be the first strange and horrible thing we've encountered on the planet, like those worms. Igfig: Okay. Apparently you guys now believe that jackals on this planet do not look anything like Earth jackals, even though jackalweres do. Milo_Magnus: jackals is just a nickname Lucas_Strongbow: Makes sense Milo_Magnus: besides Milo_Magnus: I thought sentient scrap metal monsters would be a fitting enemy for a spaceship graveyard Milo_Magnus: what with the leaking fuel Milo_Magnus: and broken down Ship AIs Wilco: indeed Thorn_the_Gnoll: Wait, could Far or Lucas do a nature check against that? Wilco: anyways Wilco: what do we do Wilco: now Thorn_the_Gnoll: Either way. Heronius_Napalm: Sleep Igfig: let's just roll with that Wilco: until next week? Wilco: 1d20 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20: [12] = 12 Thorn_the_Gnoll: I think so. Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+12 Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, 1d20+12: [5] = 17 Wilco: hmm Igfig: Okay. Lucas_Strongbow: Nope Wilco: 1d20+59 Fortuna: Wilco, 1d20+59: [11] = 70 Wilco: well that was the wrong multiplier Wilco: oh well Thorn_the_Gnoll: Doesn't matter anyways, I think one would need a natural 20 to do it. Wilco: yup Igfig: Okay, 'til next week, then. When you go to Phalant to have a look around, then go adventuring in the forest. Heronius_Napalm quit. Wilco: huzzah! Wilco: toodles Wilco: I need to do something Igfig: adventuring for /dungeons/ Milo_Magnus: okay Wilco quit. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Later everybody, my wifi should be all fixed next week, so that should be good. Igfig: great Milo_Magnus: igfig Igfig: yes? Thorn_the_Gnoll: I'll be able to go level up all my other characters too. Milo_Magnus: do you mind If I just made up the enemies on the spot? Igfig: hmm... let's talk in a private lessage Lucas_Strongbow: next week will be cool, we can pit milo and wilco against eachother for amusement Igfig: *message Lucas_Strongbow: bye y'all Lucas_Strongbow quit. Far-Walker quit. Thorn_the_Gnoll: Too ta loo for me too. Thorn_the_Gnoll quit. Brigsby: and I'm back Brigsby: oh Brigsby: guess I'll read the logs Slim_Bankshot joined #pwot_dnd. Brigsby: it's over Brigsby: I just got back from dinne Brigsby: dinner* Slim_Bankshot: Thought it may be. But figured I'd stop by just in case Brigsby: Yeah. I'm gonna just read through the logs, if they're up Brigsby: it is not Brigsby: Oh well, I'll read them later Brigsby: Bye Brigsby quit. Slim_Bankshot quit.