Slim_Bankshot: Fortuna dear? Slim_Bankshot: There you are Slim_Bankshot: OK, Slim_Bankshot: So, was anyone not here during that ship fight? Ace_Justice: apparently not Brigsby: Holdr, from looking at the map Holdr: Alright, I think we're ready tog o Slim_Bankshot: So you had just taken a ship Slim_Bankshot: red Ace_Justice: Well we know who isn't allowed to fly this ship Brigsby: That we did. An Elven Battleship, and our old ship is wrecked Igfig: Damaged. Ace_Justice: So, uh, what now Slim_Bankshot: You tell me, guys. Brigsby: Which means we should plot a course for a non-Elven world, auction this thing off, and use the funds to buy a smaller, less conspicuous vessel? Holdr: You have a giant elven ship Ace_Justice: Screw that Slim_Bankshot: The elven ship still flies, it's just pretty beat up Heronius_Napalm: Perfect Ace_Justice: Let's go gurren lagann and make a gorilla army Heronius_Napalm: another addition to our armada Lothark_Understone: I guess someone should go get Lucas if there's flying to be done Ace_Justice: I think we need to get this ship slightly repaired Ace_Justice: we gave it a bit of a beating in our old ship Heronius_Napalm: Is there anyone nearby who can repair it? Ace_Justice: Would it be possible for us to repair it? Heronius_Napalm: Also, I dismiss the giant magma monster. Ace_Justice: Maybe using some scrap metal lying around? Brigsby: Isn't "nearby" that elven world we just escaped from? Shouldn't we be hightailing it out of here? Holdr: That was a prison planet Igfig: You can repair one hull surge worth of hp -- that is, 1/4 of its hp Heronius_Napalm: perfect Lucas_Strongbow: Seeing as this is the first time I've used Lucas in a while Igfig: to repair the rest, you'll need to dock Heronius_Napalm: how long will that take. Brigsby: I really need to read that log when this is over Lucas_Strongbow: "Who the FUCK did that to our ship!?" Heronius_Napalm points to thorn Thorn points to the arm of the dead bandit leader. Igfig: I don't recall offhand... something like a day's work for a full crew? Lucas_Strongbow: I spray Thorn with a water bottle Lucas_Strongbow: Bad gnoll Lucas_Strongbow: Very bad gnoll Heronius_Napalm: how long for the one healing surge? Holdr: Holdr climbs out of the wreckage and speaks in a british accent Igfig: I just said, Hero: about a day. Holdr: "I say. That crash seems to have jarred my voice back." Heronius_Napalm: ah Heronius_Napalm: well then Heronius_Napalm: Let's be somewhere else. Brigsby: I agree. Ace_Justice: Okay if no one is going to fly Ace_Justice: then I will Thorn shakes himself dry from the squirting. Ace_Justice: is that what you guys want Brigsby: Is there a navcomputer or a space-map or something? Holdr: There is Lucas_Strongbow: Woah woah woah Ace Lucas_Strongbow: Lucas is on the job Ace_Justice: *pushes lucas out of the way and sits in the pilot seat* Heronius_Napalm: the nearest non-elven controlled docking area? Ace_Justice: or flier Ace_Justice: or whatever it's called Brigsby: ...is Holdr DMing? Ace_Justice: Oh fuck is he? Holdr: Holdr has transcended time and space and become omnipotent Thorn pulls Ace out of the pilot seat and smacks him with the dead bandit leader arm. Lucas_Strongbow: *Pretends to throw a ball for Ace_Justice to chase* Lucas_Strongbow: Get the ball! Ace_Justice: "Grrrrr" Igfig: I'm still on hiatus Brigsby: Alrighty Slim_Bankshot: It's delf and I tonight again Ace_Justice: Ace decides that he needs to get some sort of synthetic tongue Navcomputer: "Welcome Commander Eltas. You have one new message." Ace_Justice: He is tired of grrring and graahiing through everything Brigsby: "Play message." Heronius_Napalm: Check unread message Heronius_Napalm: s Lucas_Strongbow: Shouldn't this be in Elven? Lucas_Strongbow: (I want to use my elven) Heronius_Napalm: really? because ace already talks too much, even without a tongue. Ace_Justice: No that's just Waffle talking Heronius_Napalm: even worse Ace_Justice: Ace usually crotch thrusts to communicate Ace_Justice: *thrust thrust* Slim_Bankshot: Sure it is elven Ace_Justice: *swivel, half spin, thrust* Brigsby: In that case, I don't have a clue what it means Brigsby: Take it away, Lucas Lucas_Strongbow: It says there's a message for us Lucas_Strongbow: Open message Brigsby: (I'm totally gonna have to take Linguist next level up) Navcomputer: "Commander Eltras, you are hereby cordially invited to The Wynyth Gala in celebration of General Amarear's birthday. In addition to a very large cake and gifts, Illvin, the critically acclaimed band, will be making an appearance. We remind you that this event is for officers only." In elven Lucas_Strongbow: Holy shit Heronius_Napalm: we are going to that Lucas_Strongbow: We're invited to a party, apprently Heronius_Napalm: we are going to murder that other band Lucas_Strongbow: There's cake and gifts and... Heronius_Napalm: and we are going to get paid for doing their job. Lucas_Strongbow: ANOTHER BAND Heronius_Napalm: alternatively. Heronius_Napalm: we just rock out and murder everyone. Brigsby: If they're a critically acclaimed band, wouldn't it be obvious if another band showed up in their place? Lucas_Strongbow: I say those are our plans A and B Lucas_Strongbow: Where is this Wynyth Gala? Lucas_Strongbow: Wynyth probably Lucas_Strongbow: Where's Whynyth? Thorn: Wait a second. Ace_Justice: Just south of Raxnax Lucas_Strongbow: East of Mjabidor Thorn: Oh wait nevermind, that other band was Monchyld. Thorn: Still up for the plan. Brigsby: Also, we don't know where the other band is, and people will be suspicious if Commander Eltras' ship shows up, without Eltras, with a band that isn't Illvin on it Thorn: Probably play the same kind of music. Heronius_Napalm: I did not say my expertise was infiltration. Lucas_Strongbow: "Computer, play the Illvin playlist" Heronius_Napalm: my expertise is thus: Money, Fire, and Mind Control. Navcomputer: Horrible elven music comes on Heronius_Napalm: CEASE THIS RACKET Navcomputer: The music ceases Slim_Bankshot: All instrumental. Brigsby: Also if we rock out, Elves are Anti-Rock, and the entire party full of Officers (Officers only party) will probably try to kill us Lucas_Strongbow: Computer, place that playlist in the recycle bin Navcomputer: "Playlist: Recycled." Heronius_Napalm: That was kind of the idea Lucas_Strongbow: Okay, so we can't pretend to be the band Heronius_Napalm: we rock their faces off. Heronius_Napalm: literally Ace_Justice: Wait wait Heronius_Napalm: and broadcast our rock to the whole society. Heronius_Napalm: just to mess with them. Ace_Justice: what if we somehow use our instruments for non-rock music Holdr: "BLASPHEMY" Lucas_Strongbow: Get out Lucas_Strongbow: Get the hell out Holdr: Holdr smacks Ace Thorn smacks Ace with the dead bandit leader arm. Brigsby: you shut your MOUTH Heronius_Napalm: They are allowed to hurt you you know. Heronius_Napalm: it is in your contract. Navcomputer: "Airlock Activated: Please place the heathen inside." Ace_Justice: I have no contract Ace_Justice: in fact I just sort of hitch hiked onto the ship Heronius_Napalm: everyone who enters the ship signs Heronius_Napalm: otherwise it is the cold void of space for them. Thorn: And you don't want to know what happens to people without contracts. Heronius_Napalm: except thorn. Brigsby: So, are we going to this party? We'll need fancy clothes and such, seeing how it's a Gala Thorn: It's good to be the manager. Lucas_Strongbow: I don't suppose anyone has any sort of spell or ritual that can disguise a person as another person Ace_Justice: We should have a dress making montage Heronius_Napalm: I shall check my repitorie Ace_Justice: preferably with music Brigsby: I know Brigs has fancy clothes from the guy at Castle Coklov Holdr: "The officer's quarters probably has some nice clothes." Ace_Justice: Ace will wear his loincloth there Brigsby: They're probably all fitted for Elves, though Lucas_Strongbow: But none of use are Elven, and I'm the only one who speaks it Ace_Justice: He may also put on a bowtie Ace_Justice: bowtie and loincloth Lucas_Strongbow: And cuffs Thorn: The lack of us being elves certainly puts a damper on us pretending to be elves. Navcomputer: "Bowties are cool." Lucas_Strongbow: Yes computer they are Igfig: I'm sure some of you have a good Bluff Ace_Justice: Maybe we can use some of Hero's freaky magic to point our ears Thorn: Well, cept Aryanni, she's an elf, sorta. Igfig: disguise keys off of Bluff Brigsby: So when is the party? Would we have time to go to another planet, perhaps a Shopping Mall Planet? Ary: Eladrin Lucas_Strongbow: My bluff is +2 Ace_Justice: mine too Lucas_Strongbow: That will not do Thorn: Mine is a +10, but I don't speak elven, and I'm kinda hairy. Igfig: you can make disguises for other people... Igfig: shrug Heronius_Napalm: I have no helpful rituals Heronius_Napalm: but I have lots of arcane flavoring Brigsby: Making a knoll look like an elf isn't exactly something you can do with prosthetic ears and makeup Brigsby: gnoll* Navcomputer: Hairy elf Heronius_Napalm: he can look like some sort of dancing bear type entertainment Heronius_Napalm: wookie in handcuffs anyone? Lucas_Strongbow: So if I shaved, got a uniform, spoke entirely in Elven and brushed up on Elven goings-on, I would get a bonus to bluff? Navcomputer: Oso de la Fez; Former showbear Lucas_Strongbow: (Fingers crossed) Thorn: Also would help if I made your disguise. Navcomputer: I believe so Lucas Thorn: And you could have Aryanni help out, she's got pointy ears. Heronius_Napalm: anyone stealthy? Ace_Justice: +5 Thorn: Me, Lucas. Brigsby: I know someone stealthy, but we have to go to a different planet to pick him up Lucas_Strongbow: I'm stealthy Lucas_Strongbow: And humanoid Lucas_Strongbow: And speak Elven Thorn: Gnolls are humanoid. Ace_Justice: There's our man Heronius_Napalm: just making sure somebody can sneak by if we need to. Brigsby: "Navcomputer, can you give me a list of the closest planets in this...space... region? Lucas_Strongbow: Gnolls are hairy Navcomputer: "The closest planet is Wynyth, the 4th planet of the Ziotech cluster." Lucas_Strongbow: There we are then Thorn: And you can have Aryanni as an escort or something, since apparently my buddy doesn't feel like pointing out his character being an Eladrin very much. Lucas_Strongbow: That's a good idea Navcomputer: "You are currently orbitting the prison: Crematoria." Ace_Justice: Maybe we should get out of here Brigsby: "Can you plot a course to Wynyth, give us a description of it?" Ace_Justice: Hey I just got an idea to desguise me Ace_Justice: Mul's are commonly used as slaves, so just dress me up and make me serve people, say I'm a slave Navcomputer: "Yes. Wynyth is THREE days of travel away. It features large oceans, and lush fertile islands." Heronius_Napalm: I will simply bluster my way in. Heronius_Napalm: captain sparrow style. Lucas_Strongbow: That gives me three days to learn how to be an Elven general Lucas_Strongbow: Maybe we do need a montage Navcomputer: 1d20 for a montage? Fortuna: Navcomputer, for a montage?: [19] = 19 Ace_Justice: I suggested that earlier Ace_Justice: oh shit Heronius_Napalm: That is an adequate montage. Navcomputer: The 80's music is starting Ace_Justice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CzYH7oSS7U Heronius_Napalm: ohhh ohh, livin on a prayer! Ace_Justice: I'm feeling the disco fever! Ace_Justice: 1d20 to dance Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to dance: [18] = 18 Navcomputer: (You guys are using all your good bluff rolls) Lucas_Strongbow: There's only one song we need to montage Ace_Justice: oh dear Lucas_Strongbow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SUzcDUERLo Thorn: 1d20+10 Bluff to prepare Lucas. Fortuna: Thorn, Bluff to prepare Lucas.: [8] = 18 Thorn: Well crud, could be worse though. Brigsby: So, what's our escape plan for when we inevitably murder a room full of Elven Officers/Run the fuck away? Heronius_Napalm: Set the place on fire. Ace_Justice: That works Heronius_Napalm: use the fire as a distraction to escape Ace_Justice: Maybe use magic to grow a giant mustache then burn that Lucas_Strongbow: So I guess I wear the uniform, read up on who I'm supposed to be, find out who some of the important figures are Heronius_Napalm: use the ship to blow the place apart Navcomputer: "Fire always works." Thorn: And set fire to anything that chases us. Heronius_Napalm: right Heronius_Napalm: you are catching on. Ace_Justice: Maybe we should just set the whole place on fire once the gala is nice and going Ace_Justice: burn everyone inside Brigsby: I imagine it'd be hard to get out, seeing how the Elven Brass is going to be there, wouldn't there be a significant Elven military presence as well? Slim_Bankshot: I'd expect it Lucas_Strongbow: I think while some of us are wandering round the party, finding stuff out Lucas_Strongbow: The others should take out the other band Brigsby: It's not going to be just some officers in a room, this sounds like it'll be a huge event Slim_Bankshot: A generals party is kindof a big deal. Heronius_Napalm: hmm Ace_Justice: Then we can burn down the whole estate and trap them all inside the burning building Thorn: So a stealth operation to sabotage the fleet somehow? Heronius_Napalm: wait till they sleep, then assassinate? Brigsby: This isn't something I see us just casually escaping from Slim_Bankshot: Stealth? You guys? Lucas_Strongbow: Is there anyone on the inside who can help us somehow? Slim_Bankshot: ... Am I with the right group? Ace_Justice: We just need to pretend we're thalmor Heronius_Napalm: you know what, let's just burn some things. Ace_Justice: There we go Heronius_Napalm: or trick them out of a large sum of moneuy. Slim_Bankshot: That works. Ace_Justice: burn the whole damn building down Ace_Justice: rummage around the bodies and find some clues Lucas_Strongbow: Bit of subterfuge first Lucas_Strongbow: Find out some stuff about these guys Brigsby: Any votes for ignoring the message, and flying in the opposite direction of what is probably the largest Elven military gathering in the universe? Ace_Justice: We can't just go back to our planet and play a gfew shows Brigsby: Because we're wanted criminals Lucas_Strongbow: I'm gonna steal a line from Inglorious Bastards here Lucas_Strongbow: "All our eggs are one big basket" Lucas_Strongbow: "We need to blow up the basket" Slim_Bankshot: Well, that movie probably doesn't exist in this universe, so I think it's original in this case Heronius_Napalm: We wouldn't be the basterd Heronius_Napalm: s Brigsby: also the Nazis didn't have big flashing viewscreens with our faces on them Heronius_Napalm: we would be the angry jewish woman. Heronius_Napalm: and that black guy. Lucas_Strongbow: No, we are Lucas_Strongbow: I'm Brad Pitt Lucas_Strongbow: trying to sneak in with a disguise Heronius_Napalm: you look terrible in a mustache Thorn: Does that make me the Bear? Heronius_Napalm: pretty much Lucas_Strongbow: Yes Lucas_Strongbow: Ace can be the other one Lucas_Strongbow: Hero can be the Lady who blows the building up Heronius_Napalm: done and done Brigsby: I'm the only one against this, aren't I? Lucas_Strongbow: Yes Heronius_Napalm: yup Lucas_Strongbow: We all feel the pull of ADVENTURE Brigsby: Let's get it over with then Heronius_Napalm: except me Ary: No, you are not Brigsby. Heronius_Napalm: I feel the pull of PYROMANIA Heronius_Napalm sets a nearby plant on fire. Heronius_Napalm: hahaha Heronius_Napalm: hmm Heronius_Napalm: not as good. Navcomputer: I heard Ace was part plant Lucas_Strongbow: I get all practiced up on my general, find out everything I need to know Heronius_Napalm sets a nearby crewman on fire. Brigsby: Unless we just do a high-speed pyro-bomb of the place, I don't see how we're gonna escape Heronius_Napalm: haHA Heronius_Napalm: much better. crewman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Lucas_Strongbow: Do I get a bonus to bluff? crewman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Lucas_Strongbow: (Please god please) navcomputer: "Sprinklers activate." navcomputer: Yes Heronius_Napalm: ahhhh Heronius_Napalm: hmm Heronius_Napalm: I create a harmless wall of shimmering air Lucas_Strongbow: I think we should keep it quiet, unless something is wrong Lucas_Strongbow: Then we get the hell out Heronius_Napalm: they water slides off of it. Lucas_Strongbow: On the shuttle Brigsby: So are we just gonna fly into the place in a stolen Elven Battleship? Lucas_Strongbow: THE SHUTTLE Brigsby: because that's gonna look super suspicious Lucas_Strongbow: Wasn't that our old shuttle? navcomputer: Oh yeah that's right Thorn: The Gratch shuttle? navcomputer: You have a shuttle Heronius_Napalm: hey! why not do what we did that other time. Thorn: From the Gratch ship that the elves attacked? Heronius_Napalm: and rig this thing to blow up. Slim_Bankshot: You could just say you were attacked or something? Heronius_Napalm: scoot off in a little ship, and booom navcomputer: Why not fly it into the hanger of S.S bigger ship? Brigsby: What about our newer ship? Thorn: Which could mean getting military financed repairs for our new ship. Thorn: AKA free for us, have the elves fix our ship. Ace_Justice: okay I had to go do something, what did I miss Brigsby: talking Brigsby: So let me see if I've got the plans straight Heronius_Napalm: So, are we going to steal a bunch of ships, rock out, or commit some muder and sabotage. Heronius_Napalm: ? Heronius_Napalm: I Knoow! Heronius_Napalm: All of them! Heronius_Napalm: split the party! we have enough alts. Ace_Justice: that would work Lucas_Strongbow: I like murder and sabotage, then crash a ship into the planet Brigsby: Leave the S.S. Bigger Ship in space, take the Elven Battleship to the planet Ace_Justice: I think we should call it HMS something Thorn: Attend a party, replace a band, sabatage the military shipyard to prevent the other ships from following us, kill a party full of elven officers. Ace_Justice: HMS sounds cooler Brigsby: do our Music/whatever stuff, "Blow up that Basket" Thorn: Quite a to do list. Heronius_Napalm: makes for a grand adventure. Ace_Justice: what if our music is so loud it ruptures their ear drums Ace_Justice: then when they are moaning in pain we make our escape Heronius_Napalm: all the better. Brigsby: then take the shuttle from the Battleship as an escape vessel back to our S.S. Bigger Ship, which is primed to jump to hyperspace the second we get on? Ace_Justice: "start the engine!" Heronius_Napalm: right, if we are going to steal a magical ship, I will have to be there. Brigsby: Did I get the plans straight? Heronius_Napalm: I can run the engines. Heronius_Napalm: I shall have to detach barvo from myself and send him to do some damage somewhere. Heronius_Napalm: poor duck Heronius_Napalm: I shall need to spend the whole journey trying to break the curse Brigsby: Maybe we shouldn't have eight different side-projects going on at this thing Heronius_Napalm: or just perform a disenchant ritual. Heronius_Napalm: and why not? Brigsby: that just makes us eight times more likely to get caught and blow the whole operation Heronius_Napalm: that;s what makes it interesting! Thorn: We don't, we've got attending the party/replacing the band, and prevent military... I can't think of the word but it is similar to revenge. Heronius_Napalm: also, if one group gets caught, the rest can use the confusion to cause mischief Thorn: The party/band/kill elven officers thing is all oen thing, and the military prevention thing is all the other thing. Brigsby: So what is our escape plan? The shuttle or the hope that we can steal a ship? Heronius_Napalm: A and B my friend Brigsby: How many people are we taking? Because the shuttle is pretty small Ace_Justice: We may need me if we get into a fight Ace_Justice: and I'm pretty useless anywhere else Ace_Justice: hey wait Heronius_Napalm: the shuttle is worst cae Ace_Justice: maybe we can kidnap some elven military whatever's Heronius_Napalm: case* Ace_Justice: And interrogate them Heronius_Napalm: if we are in the shutte, then things have gone very wrong and many people are dead. Brigsby: sounds right to me Ace_Justice: hopefully with some prisoners Lucas_Strongbow: Where does this General Whatshisname rank in the military? Brigsby: alright, are we gonna just sit and talk or are we gonna do this thing? navcomputer: At general Ace_Justice: LET'S DO DIS! navcomputer: Hence the title "General" Brigsby: wasn't he a Commander? Lucas_Strongbow: Does he have many superiors, is what I mean Ace_Justice: Let's do a go team navcomputer: Commander was addressed to you Lucas_Strongbow: Because pulling rank could be very handy here Thorn: The guy we killed and are posing as was a commander, he was invited to some general's party. Brigsby: ah, ok Lucas_Strongbow: Oh yeah Lucas_Strongbow: Damn Slim_Bankshot: OK i'm confused... navcomputer: So, what all are we planning here Ace_Justice: we are going to go down there Ace_Justice: sabatoge stuff Ace_Justice: get information Ace_Justice: rock the fuck out Ace_Justice: and get out of there Thorn: Attending the party/sabataging Elven military capability to screw with us after screwing over their party. Brigsby: I think I have all the plans, let me type it out Heronius_Napalm: okay Heronius_Napalm: take it brigs Lucas_Strongbow: This isn't a plan, it's an Operation Lucas_Strongbow: Operation Gatecrasher Heronius_Napalm: Gatecrashing is a good analogy Heronius_Napalm: we are going to go in, take a bunch of stuff, wreck up the place, and leave just as suddenly. Brigsby: 1) Leave HMS Bigger Ship out in space somewhere, 2) Take Elven Battleship to the planet, 3) Split up into Party Team and Sabotage Team, 4) Teams do their things, 5) Escape on a stolen ship/Our Battleship/Shuttle if things are bad, 6) Meet up with HMS Bigger Ship, 7) Get the hell out of there navcomputer: Ok, so what is the HMS biggership and what is the Elven battleship? I thought they were the same Heronius_Napalm: 8) if required, send largest ship careening into elven party area. Brigsby: Isn't HMS Bigger Ship the ship we were using after the Shuttle, before the Elven battleship? Heronius_Napalm: the one we just crashed Thorn: Our ship is smaller then the elven battleship we have taken. Brigsby: our boat is the HMS Bigger Ship, the Elven Battleship probably has its own hoity toity Elven name Heronius_Napalm: I should think so Thorn: Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to drive it inside the Elven Battleship. Lucas_Strongbow: Also, what is my name supposed to be? i forgot it navcomputer: Ah Brigsby: yeah, it's called HMS Bigger Ship because it's bigger than our old ship, the shuttle Lucas_Strongbow: Commander... Brigsby: Eltrys? Brigsby: or somethign Lucas_Strongbow: Bam navcomputer: "You are Commander Eltas." Lucas_Strongbow: Close enough Ace_Justice: We need to figure out how that guy acts Ace_Justice: acted* Ace_Justice: we need the charade to go on as long as possible Lucas_Strongbow: Computer, what is my psychological profile? navcomputer: "You are Commander Eltas, commander of the HMS Caeldrim. Please hold while I search my records for you psychological profile." Brigsby: So, are we ready to go crash this gala? Lucas_Strongbow: (That means he's working it out with Slim) navcomputer: A loading bar appears on the screen Brigsby: *on-hold music* navcomputer: *elevator music* navcomputer: "Record found: Commander Eltas: Grumpy; Racist; Dastardly; Hates fat people." Thorn: We do have 3 days before we get to the planet anyways. navcomputer: "He enjoys twirling his mustache." Ace_Justice: He's just like lucas! Ace_Justice: shit he needs a mustache Lucas_Strongbow: I have a beard Ace_Justice: Lucas Dastardly Lucas_Strongbow: I'll trim it Ace_Justice: See if you can find a picture of the guy using that computer Heronius_Napalm: your glorious red beard? Heronius_Napalm: for shame Lucas_Strongbow: it's brown Lucas_Strongbow: ish Lucas_Strongbow: Robert redford style Ace_Justice: who's that? Brigsby: We have three days of travel time, we can work all this out on the way Ace_Justice: true Brigsby: So let's get this thing going Lucas_Strongbow: maybe after this I'll catch that pigeon Lucas_Strongbow: There's a joke no one's gonna get Ace_Justice: errrr Ace_Justice: masturbate? Ace_Justice: Well if we've got it all worked out Thorn offers Ace the dead bandit leader's arm. Lucas_Strongbow: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dastardly_and_Muttley_in_Their_Flying_Machines Ace_Justice: hah navcomputer: "Searching for picture." navcomputer: *elevator music* Slim_Bankshot: Man, why do we never get pictures? navcomputer: "No picture found. Searching for characicture." Thorn: Cause you're not visual learners? Ace_Justice: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nSU6L_WlSkU/S8ZVgE-iXQI/AAAAAAAACAM/7hQsWENP060/s1600/dick9we3.jpg navcomputer: "Charicture found." navcomputer: http://outlandinstitute.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/dastardly.jpg Ace_Justice: this dude navcomputer: DANG IT ACE Ace_Justice: AHAHAHAHA Ace_Justice: how Ace_Justice: HOW navcomputer: "Trap door opening." Brigsby: Google search isn't exactly hard to do navcomputer: A trap door opens beneath Ace Ace_Justice: but we both thought of the same dude navcomputer: "Redircting Trap door to snake pit." Brigsby: Yes, the same dude who was on a show that Lucas posted a link to Ace_Justice: oh I didn't see that Ace_Justice: I just always think of this guy when I think of people curling mustaches Brigsby: "Navcomputer, set a course for Wynyth, we don't want to be late for the party." Heronius_Napalm: extended rest? Ace_Justice: I'd assume navcomputer: "Course set. What warp speed?" Ace_Justice: LUDICRIOUS SPEED navcomputer: (Don't dissapoint me.) Ace_Justice: Ludicrous* Heronius_Napalm: Warp 5. Heronius_Napalm: Engage! navcomputer: "Engaging." navcomputer: And off you go Heronius_Napalm: whooosh Lucas_Strongbow: I sequester myself into a room to learn how to act like Commander Eltas Brigsby: little did they know, Warp 5 was actually only fast enough to get them there in three weeks navcomputer: Time for a montage Ace_Justice: Okay Lucas Ace_Justice: say something racist to me Ace_Justice: I'm mul Ace_Justice: a slave Ace_Justice: it should be easy Slim_Bankshot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s28vNyjOlbc Ace_Justice: hit me with your best shot Slim_Bankshot: Montage time! Lucas_Strongbow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPFCHuEegsk Lucas_Strongbow: get out of my way you bald half breed bastard! Ace_Justice: *recoils* Ace_Justice: "GGRRR" Heronius_Napalm: That's the spirit. Ace_Justice: try again! Brigsby: Throw something about rocks in there Ace_Justice: HIT ME HARDER Heronius_Napalm: spit on him if you can. Heronius_Napalm: slap him around a bit. Lucas_Strongbow: You're looking a bit fat. Go and eat some rocks. Ace_Justice: *gasp* navcomputer: MONTAGE navcomputer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQvNu8LoTo0 Ace_Justice: One more and I' Ace_Justice: I'll be down for the count Lucas_Strongbow: You have a weird shaped head navcomputer: "Set him on fire." Lucas_Strongbow: Like a condom full of pebbles navcomputer: "Close enough." Ace_Justice: eh Ace_Justice: sure Lucas_Strongbow: I need to go the full Daniel Day Lewis with this thing Lucas_Strongbow: Get into character Lucas_Strongbow: So much that it's weird Ace_Justice: Alright so can we skip there? Ace_Justice: assume we made it navcomputer: the montage covered it Thorn: Still need some work on his racism though. Ace_Justice: Wait am I going in as the slave servent?? Heronius_Napalm: I have extracted barvo navcomputer: "Attention Commander. You have an incoming message." Lucas_Strongbow: It would be so great if we walked up to the door and the guy just said "You're not an elf" Lucas_Strongbow: Play message! Fortuna: Say please. Ace_Justice: hahaha navcomputer: "Say please." Thorn: Throughout the montage were shots of Thorn eating dead people. Ace_Justice: and ace sobbing Lucas_Strongbow: You listen to me you cantankerous collection of chips and circuits, when I say play message, I want you to play the message! Ace_Justice: Oh shit he's really getting into character navcomputer: An elf pops up on screen Lucas_Strongbow: I floated above my body for a second there Lucas_Strongbow: (Do I recognise him from my research?) navcomputer: "Attention HMS Caeldrim. You are to disengage and set your orbit around the planet. You and your party guests will arrive on planet via shuttle." navcomputer: No you don't He's likely just some security guy Lucas_Strongbow: Good. Have some drinks waiting when we arrive. navcomputer: "Yes sir." navcomputer: The elf dissapears. Lucas_Strongbow: So who's coming with me? Ace_Justice: We're leaving everything to lucas Lucas_Strongbow: Everyone I guess Ace_Justice: we're doomed Brigsby: the band, right? Ace_Justice: I am Heronius_Napalm: everyone, for the most part. Heronius_Napalm: but we should decide our teams now. Ace_Justice: I'm going to the party Thorn: Thorn would be better suited for the sabotage stuff I believe. Ary: I'm with Lucas Ace_Justice: want me to write the teams on the map? Brigsby: We leave backup characters in orbit, so they'll be ready to jump to Warp A Billion when we steal a ship/shuttle back Thorn: I'll whip up Ace a slave outfit. Ace_Justice: no no Ace_Justice: classy slave Thorn: 1d20+10 slave being brought to a party outfit. Fortuna: Thorn, slave being brought to a party outfit.: [20] = 30 Heronius_Napalm: Heronius is good at both destruction and thievery Ace_Justice: it's ruin your public image if I arrived in rags Ace_Justice: HOLY FUCK navcomputer: Holy crap Thorn: You have the most perfect slave outfit ever. navcomputer: Ace is classier then you Ace_Justice: *adjusts tie* Brigsby: I'll be with the band, whichever group that is Brigsby: since I'm the singer Thorn: He wants to outshine the other officers by making their slaves look like common farm slaves in comparison. Ace_Justice: I can also sing navcomputer: Haw Slim_Bankshot: Ace... Your tie is wearing a monocle. Ace_Justice: oh man Brigsby: you can't sing better than me Ace_Justice: now that is class Slim_Bankshot: So classy Ace_Justice: Yes I can brigs navcomputer: Holdr will stay back and give advice Ace_Justice: watch this Ace_Justice: 1d20+2 to sing with the voice of angels Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to sing with the voice of angels: [19] = 21 navcomputer: He specializes in security after all Ace_Justice: BAM Lucas_Strongbow: This works pretty well Brigsby: what's your performance bonus? Lucas_Strongbow: Everyone will be admiring my dapper slave Ace_Justice: +2 Lucas_Strongbow: And not scrutinising me Brigsby: mine is +12, I'm the better singer Heronius_Napalm: So do you want to have Barvo with you as well, slave bodyguard? Ace_Justice: yes, slave, classyman, and bodyguard Ace_Justice: we may need a mistress Ace_Justice: do we have any woman? Ary: I'm with Lucas as well folks Thorn: And there ya go. Heronius_Napalm: Alright, barvo is in team rock. Ace_Justice: perfect Ace_Justice: okay so once more Ace_Justice: who's with lucas Heronius_Napalm: Heronius in team break shit. Lucas_Strongbow: (Is Ary a woman?) Ace_Justice: me, Ace_Justice: Ary Thorn: Yes. Ary: Yes Ace_Justice: annd barvo? Lucas_Strongbow: Because I'm willing to go gay Heronius_Napalm: BARVO Lucas_Strongbow: If the role calls for it Heronius_Napalm: didn't lucas already go gay? Heronius_Napalm: with that elf? Lucas_Strongbow: Once Brigsby: is the band Lucas team? Ace_Justice: okay lucas's team is on the map Lucas_Strongbow: I was experimenting Ary goes and finds party getup Heronius_Napalm: Band is with lucas Brigsby: Wait, am I the only performer? Ace_Justice: Err Brigsby: Lucas plays guitar, but he'll be impersonating an officer Lucas_Strongbow: I can perform, If we're going to rock out navcomputer: Oh crap Ace_Justice: Do we have any first gen band members left? Brigsby: Me Lucas_Strongbow: because if that's the case, we're going all out Brigsby: and Lucas Ace_Justice: they can do a duet then Lucas_Strongbow: Singer and guitarist Brigsby: how are we going to do this? Ace_Justice: Just go in and mingle? Slim_Bankshot: Wait, are only a few of you still rockers? Brigsby: Yeah, me and Lucas Ace_Justice: Maybe the ghost of wilco can return Thorn: Got Brigsby, Lucas... Brigsby: the rest are managers or producers or whatever Thorn: Not sure where Farwalker went. Ace_Justice: to assist them in this time of rock Slim_Bankshot: Like, out of everyone. Only the two of you rock? Thorn: Must have walked far. Brigsby: Bravo quit, the drummer hasn't been around in ages Lucas_Strongbow: But we rock HARD navcomputer: Woah Heronius_Napalm: hmm Brigsby: Drey is back on junk planet Heronius_Napalm: I think our journey is going to need some rock education Heronius_Napalm: Teach barvo to hit a drum. Ace_Justice: another montage? Igfig: Some sort of /School of Rock/, eh? Thorn: Reverse back to the travel/training montage, change it into a travel/training/rock montage. Brigsby: no time for a montage Ace_Justice: there is always time for a montage! navcomputer: There's always time for a monstage navcomputer: SHUT UP Heronius_Napalm: MORE MONTAGES Brigsby: No re-dos, let's just wing it Ace_Justice: more like WIN IT navcomputer: Ace falls back into the snake pit Ace_Justice: shit Slim_Bankshot: You hang around rockers. I'm sure you are capable of it. Brigsby: it's too late, we should have thought of this earlier, but oh well. We'll figure it out when the time comes Ace_Justice: I switched my preform from charisma to dex Ace_Justice: I can now play a guitar apparently Lucas_Strongbow: Bass Lucas_Strongbow: Play bass Fortuna: Say please. Ace_Justice: sure navcomputer: PLAY BASS Fortuna: Say please. Lucas_Strongbow: leave me alone fortuna Thorn: Bass seems more mullish. Heronius_Napalm: Barvo can hit things on command. Heronius_Napalm: he is good at that. Heronius_Napalm: little else, really. Brigsby: ok, we have our band Ace_Justice: SO ARE WE READY TO ROCK? Slim_Bankshot: play... bass? Fortuna: Say please. Ace_Justice: and infiltrate Slim_Bankshot: Whaaaat? Ace_Justice: I know how to play a fish Ace_Justice: Canadians learn this at a young age Brigsby: We'll all take out the other band while Lucas mingles, then when we go on stage we can ask for an audience volunteer Lucas_Strongbow: Oh you genius Brigsby: Lucas comes up, Rock ensues Igfig: okay, I seriously have to change the syntax for playing fortune cards Igfig: because Fortuna is getting annoying navcomputer: "Canadians: A long extinct race from the planet earth." Heronius_Napalm: or just take them out Heronius_Napalm: we never use them Igfig: Perhaps Thorn: We do occasionally. Thorn: They've been helpful when we did use them. Heronius_Napalm: but they don't really make enough of an impact to be worth the bother. Ace_Justice: we can dicuss this later Thorn: Or over in the OOC. Brigsby: we obviously can't mingle with the party anyway, it'll be all elves Brigsby: so we take out the other band somewhere else, Lucas mingles alone Brigsby: ok, crisis averted, let's do this Ace_Justice: he needs his bodyguard Heronius_Napalm: that was the plan. Ace_Justice: and me there as the servent Thorn: With his accompaniment. Ace_Justice: just in case of emergency Lucas_Strongbow: So I've got my mistress, bodyguard, and classy bodyguard Ace_Justice: monocle tie Heronius_Napalm: manservant* Slim_Bankshot: You are very close to the planet now. Heronius_Napalm: halfmanservant* Brigsby: So that leaves me to take out the other band? Thorn: Nope, mistress, bodyguard, and classy slave/manservant to make everyone else's servants look bad. navcomputer: The elf comes up on screen again Thorn: That would, that's problematic. navcomputer: "This is your final warning. Disengage and enter orbit." Ace_Justice: oh right Lucas_Strongbow: Oh, yeah, we do that Heronius_Napalm: yeah sure. Slim_Bankshot: The valet shall park your ship for you Heronius_Napalm: boop boop Brigsby: because if they're all wimpy elves I'll just shock them into oblivion Heronius_Napalm: bitchin Valet: Wait, are you down at the planet yet? Slim_Bankshot: Oh shit. Did you guys get rid of all of the bodies? Heronius_Napalm: we could be. Lucas_Strongbow: Leaving now Ace_Justice: holy shit the rocky montage song came on from shuffle Ace_Justice: this is perfect Thorn: Just entering orbit. Ace_Justice: OH FUCK WE DIDN'T Heronius_Napalm: Sure we did Thorn: I ate them during the montage. Heronius_Napalm: we had 3 days Ace_Justice: oh yeah Brigsby: Thorn ate them Heronius_Napalm: thorn gets hungry Valet: Wait, the valet is down on the planet Valet: Or am I confused Brigsby: No guys, we totally just hung out with some rotting corpses for half a week Valet: "WHERE AM I" Brigsby: The shuttle is picking us up Ace_Justice: "This is the next dimension, you are dead" Lucas_Strongbow: We're parking the ship in orbit Slim_Bankshot: I thought the valet would pick them up in orbit Heronius_Napalm: brb Brigsby: We leave the Battleship in orbit while a valet picks us up in a shuttle Slim_Bankshot: Yeah Valet: I thought they were taking the old shuttle down Brigsby: no Valet: Or am I just being stupid Brigsby: yes Valet: Okay. I'm being stuid Brigsby: space limo Ace_Justice: our limo has a monocle Valet: A fancy space limo pulls into your hanger Valet: "Welcome to space limo express." Lucas_Strongbow: It's a Johnny Cab Ace_Justice: wait what about our weapos Ace_Justice: weapons Ace_Justice: will they just let us bring them in? Thorn: I hid yours inside your outfit. Lucas_Strongbow: He hid all of ours inside your outfit Ace_Justice: I have a giant two handed battleaxe Ace_Justice: well alright then Lucas_Strongbow: It's an incredible outfit Ace_Justice: pocket universe Valet: "Please enter the li- Woah. Nice slave." Ace_Justice: *nods his head* Thorn: He's dressed very sharp. Lucas_Strongbow: Eyes on the road. Brigsby: I updated the teams on the map Valet: "Everyone on board? Lucas_Strongbow: Yep Brigsby: Dave stays behind, wishing he could come along and get a new voice modulator Heronius_Napalm: Barvo climbs in. Lucas_Strongbow: I mean Valet: "Off we go." Ace_Justice: poor dave Lucas_Strongbow: "Of course you blithering idiot. Now go, we're late" Valet: The Space limo pulls out and fly's down to the planet Ace_Justice: he just wants to DESTROY ALL HUMANOIDS Valet: And then pulls up to mansion Valet: "This is your stop." Lucas_Strongbow: Take the rest round the back, I don't want to be seen with them Lucas_Strongbow: My team gets out, I guess Valet: "Yes sir." Heronius_Napalm: yeah boss. Ace_Justice: *steps out* Ace_Justice: *adjusts his monocle on his tie* Lucas_Strongbow: Camera flashes go off as Ace gets out Valet: Into the other chat other team Brigsby: I go around back with Team Sabotage Lucas_Strongbow: Is team sabotage not the same as team rock/murder? bouncer: the bouncer watches the party guests approach Ace_Justice: alrighty team party Ace_Justice: let's do this bouncer: "Names." Ace_Justice: I have spy music playing bouncer: The bouncer is huge. Lucas_Strongbow: Commander Eltas, Captain of the Caeldrim Heronius_Barvo: How huge? Heronius_Barvo: barvo needs to know. bouncer: His biceps are as wide as barvos body Ace_Justice: whoa Heronius_Barvo: Barvo likes. Heronius_Barvo: Barvo maintains eye-contact with it. Ace_Justice: double whoa Lucas_Strongbow: This is my guest, Madame Shanara bouncer: "Names please." Ace_Justice: *crosses his arms* Lucas_Strongbow: These are my slave-bodyguards, they have no names Ace_Justice: (call us thing 1 and thing 2) bouncer: "I see. And you are sir?" Lucas_Strongbow: yeah, i was gonna Lucas_Strongbow: I set my legs apart in a wide stance, hands on hips Lucas_Strongbow: "I am Commander Eltas, captain of the Caeldrim" bouncer: "Oh. It's you commander. I didn't recognize you. New underlings?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Now are you going to waste any more of my time?" bouncer: "Please, go in. Insult a minority for me." bouncer 4steps aside Ace_Justice: hah Lucas_Strongbow: "Don't I always?" bouncer 4salutes Lucas_Strongbow: We go in bouncer: "Always, sir." bouncer: Inside is a fancy entrance hall with people waiting to take coats and such bouncer: And large double doors which a faint chatter eminates from Lucas_Strongbow: i give my coat to the clerk Lucas_Strongbow: Is he an elf? bouncer: Half, at least Ace_Justice: err Ace_Justice: our weapons are under my coat Lucas_Strongbow: i thought they were in your outfit, not your coat Lucas_Strongbow: You don't have a coat bouncer: You can request to keep your coat on, probably Ace_Justice: I thought my outfit involved a coat Lucas_Strongbow: "Take our coats. Careful not to get your half breed stench on them" Ace_Justice: I am imagining a sort of tenth doctor trench coat bouncer: They don't offer to take a slaves coat anyway. bouncer: Why would they? Heronius_Barvo: yeah Lucas_Strongbow: Exactly Ace_Justice: *sniff* bouncer: Plus they envy how fuckig classy you are Lucas_Strongbow: We all do Ace_Justice: So Ace_Justice: here we are Lucas_Strongbow: (This is so awesome, by the way) Ace_Justice: The elf party bouncer: Map is up Ace_Justice: you covered the teams Lucas_Strongbow: We remember them Ace_Justice: So Ace_Justice: er Ace_Justice: what do we do in here Lucas_Strongbow: Well bouncer: Inside there are many well dressed, chatting guests. Some obviously more high ranking Lucas_Strongbow: We mingle Ace_Justice: try to distract everyone until the other team can make some trouble? bouncer 4guest random_guest: "Ah! Commander! So good to see you!" Heronius_Barvo lurks behind lucas Ace_Justice: *stands behind and beside random_guest: "I hear you recently had to silence a prison riot. How did that go?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Splendidly! Even managed to nab myself some new staff" Lucas_Strongbow: I gesture towards Ace and Bravo Lucas_Strongbow: "You can't beat the Muls for dumb muscle" Heronius_Barvo bow and grunt on command random_guest: "Fantastic! How did your ship fare?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Scrapes and scratches. Still, performed excellently" Lucas_Strongbow: What rank is this person? random_guest: "Glad we could help. If you need us again, my card should still be in hte glove compartment." random_guest: *the Lucas_Strongbow: 2Actually, I lost it in the fray. May I have another?" Lucas_Strongbow: "I know you wouldn't come to an event like this without a stack of the things" Ace_Justice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3Euph8JCIs random_guest: "I'm afraid I can't just go giving them away at the moment. What with the fleets preparing for battle and all. But I'll but some calls in. Stay in touch about it, hm?" Ace_Justice: (TRY AND GET INFORMATION ABOUT THE FLEETS) Lucas_Strongbow: "not even for a valuable customer?" random_guest: "And when you get a moment, I'm sure the general would be most pleased to have a word with you." Lucas_Strongbow: "thank you my good man" random_guest 4wanders off into the crowd Brigsby: I stride out onstage to the front microphone. Ace_Justice: *nudges lucas and gestures at brigs* Lucas_Strongbow: I approach the general, I guess random_guest: The crowd hushes for a moment and looks towards the stage Lucas_Strongbow: "Can't be. Too soon" Brigsby: "Hello, good sirs and ladies! It pains me to inform you that we are experiencing some technical difficulties backstage, but they should be fixed in a moment." random_guest: They mutter disappointedly and nod before looking away Brigsby: "In the meantime, I will sing a couple songs to entertain everyone while we get these problems worked out. After all, you are all of Elvendom's best and brightest, and deserve entertainment as such!" Lucas_Strongbow: "Get on with it you half-wit halfling!" Ace_Justice: *sighs* random_guest: They nod approvingly Lucas_Strongbow: I can use the music as an opportunity to get the general aside Brigsby blushes, embarrassed, and continues Brigsby: "This first song is called "Schissal Nkata", a Draconic spiritual from the far-off world of Krandal." General_Amaraer: "COMMANDER~" General_Amaraer: *! Lucas_Strongbow: I salute General_Amaraer 4smacks the commander on the back Lucas_Strongbow: "Yes sir" Brigsby: 1d20+12 Perform - sings a song in Draconic Fortuna: Brigsby, Perform - sings a song in Draconic: [18] = 30 Lucas_Strongbow: These rolls are too good, there's gonna be a fall Ace_Justice: yup General_Amaraer 4salutes Ace_Justice: right when we need it Ace_Justice: Brigsby, try and actually sing Ace_Justice: it'll be neat General_Amaraer: "Busy day wrongfully oppressing the less fortuneate?" General_Amaraer: *fortunate Lucas_Strongbow: "If by less fortunate you mean minorities, then yes sir!" Lucas_Strongbow: "Business is booming!" General_Amaraer: "Good man!" Ace_Justice: *clenches his fist* General_Amaraer 4hearty laugh Ace_Justice: (remember Ace is an escaped slave( Ace_Justice: ) General_Amaraer: "I heard about that stint on Crematoria, I'm so glad you could make it in time." Lucas_Strongbow: "Sorry sir?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Forgive me for imposing sir, but If you want to talk, could we go somewhere quieter? I can't stand this draconic warbling" General_Amaraer: "Indeed...." General_Amaraer: "Someone shoot that thing on stage or something!" General_Amaraer: "Do we have a trapdoor? With lava?" General_Amaraer: "But yes, let us depart to my private booth." Lucas_Strongbow: I grab an underling, remaining in earshot of the general Ace_Justice: *follows Lucas* Lucas_Strongbow: "The next time we're here, have a trapdoor installed on the stage. What are we paying you people for?" Ary saunters along Brigsby finishes the song, and immediately begins to talk again Lucas_Strongbow: Then I follow the general General_Amaraer: "Indeed. Why throw a party if we can't burn people alive or shoot them?" General_Amaraer: "Total waste..." Brigsby looks around for applause, gets none, and continues Lucas_Strongbow: "You know what they say sir, if you want something done right..." Lucas_Strongbow: "Opress other species until you get it" Lucas_Strongbow: oppress General_Amaraer: "Here we are gentlemen. Can I get you a drink?" Ace_Justice: *shakes head* Ace_Justice: wait shit Ary gives ace a glare Brigsby: "I'd like to dedicate this next song to the great General Amarear." Lucas_Strongbow: "Yes sir. I'll have what you're having" General_Amaraer: He brings you to a private room with a minibar and lots of suede and velour furniture. Lucas_Strongbow: Pure class Ace_Justice: So we take this guy alive? Brigsby: "It is a tale of valor, strength, and mystery. I hope you all enjoy this next one, called "Rain of Fire on Valyrian Coasts" Lucas_Strongbow: I'm thinking, if he rumbles us, take him prisoner General_Amaraer: He's also like 7 and a half feet tall Ace_Justice: Pfft General_Amaraer: And wearing some sturdy looking armor Ace_Justice: We have barvo lucas and ace Ace_Justice: hmm Heronius_Barvo: Barvo is 8 feet Ace_Justice: is lucas magic in any way? Ace_Justice: I forget which class he is Lucas_Strongbow: "And a lady's drink for the lady" Lucas_Strongbow: I'm primal Ace_Justice: crap Heronius_Barvo: Heronius appears behind Brigs Ace_Justice: I was thinking we could somehow drug his drink Lucas_Strongbow: So, i can make a pretty mean area of thorns General_Amaraer 4hands out drinks Ary: "Why thank you general." General_Amaraer: "Careful gents. This mead packs a punch." General_Amaraer: Anyone who drinks it make a fort save to keep from passing out Lucas_Strongbow: "The fastest way to impress a general is to outdrink him!" Ace_Justice: oh snap Ace_Justice: wait Ace_Justice: who has the highest fort General_Amaraer: You can politely decline. Ace_Justice: we should drinking contest this guy General_Amaraer: He won't be offended. Brigsby: "Oh, I won't have to do this alone! In that case, I'd like to sing a different song! Still dedicated to the respectable General Amarear, of course." Ace_Justice: I have 20 fort Heronius_Barvo: Barvo has a high fort as well Lucas_Strongbow: I have 17 Ace_Justice: how high hero? Heronius_Barvo: well, 17 con Ace_Justice: fort Heronius_Barvo: 10 endurance Ace_Justice: How high is your fort Brigsby: "This song actually calls for volunteers from the audience? Would anyone like to come up and join us?" Heronius_Barvo: wait fort Heronius_Barvo: sorry Heronius_Barvo: 22 Ace_Justice: okay Ace_Justice: Lucas Ace_Justice: leave Ace_Justice: but Ary: 15 Ace_Justice: challenge him to a drinking contest Ace_Justice: using barvo Lucas_Strongbow: Is it like a shot? because I could stealthy sleight of hand to throw it over my shoulder Ace_Justice: if we can knock him out Brigsby: (Actually, Hero, isn't it sabotage time for you and Thorn?) Ace_Justice: we can search him for a key or important papetrs Ace_Justice: break into his office Heronius_Barvo: (I am doing all kinds of things) Brigsby: (I forgot about that) Lucas_Strongbow: We can talk to him first Lucas_Strongbow: I need to have one drink, to impress him Lucas_Strongbow: Or at least fake drinking it Zawyn: Thorn is *ahem* busy General_Amaraer: You could always bluff the drink, I guess. yes? General_Amaraer: How do you fake drinking? Lucas_Strongbow: I fake throwing it behind me Lucas_Strongbow: i thought thievery sleight f hand General_Amaraer: OK Ace_Justice: throw it into the plant behind him Lucas_Strongbow: of hand Lucas_Strongbow: So I do General_Amaraer: Oh yeah. He has a lot of plants Ace_Justice: I drink that sucker Ace_Justice: 1d20+11 fort save Fortuna: Ace_Justice, fort save: [17] = 28 Ace_Justice: *smacks his lips* Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+12 throw drink away Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, throw drink away: [14] = 26 General_Amaraer: Ace shotguns his glass of mead and shakes his head a bit Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+11 I guess? Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, I guess?: [7] = 18 General_Amaraer: Lucas glances past the general and when he turns to look, dumps his glass in one of the nearby plants Brigsby: what was that roll for, Hero? General_Amaraer: Which while alive, have velour and suede leaves for some inexplicable reason Ary politely declines to drink Lucas_Strongbow: Pure class Heronius_Barvo: dunno Heronius_Barvo: that was barvo General_Amaraer: Wait, who is ary? Lucas_Strongbow: My mistress Lucas_Strongbow: "Mistress" Ary: wrong name, a thousand pardons General_Amaraer: "Of course. A mead this strong is too much for a fair maiden. Please, try this." Ary nods in thanks General_Amaraer: He picks up a coconut and twists it apart with his bare hands, mixing a drink into one of the halves for Ary. Ace_Justice: Does the general pick his? General_Amaraer: Pick his what? Lucas_Strongbow: "I've heard some interesting talk among the guests sir" Ace_Justice: I mean drink his General_Amaraer: "Oh have you?" General_Amaraer: He is casually sipping his 4th shot Lucas_Strongbow: "Yes, you know the usual, promotions and demotions" Lucas_Strongbow: "But I couldn't help but notice talk of fleets assembling" General_Amaraer: "Is it that worm Arseth? Is he still mad about me demoting him?" General_Amaraer: "Oh. That." Lucas_Strongbow: "Sir?" General_Amaraer: "Yes, yes. It's exciting, isn't it? A full war may be brewing." Lucas_Strongbow: "Beg your pardon sir, but I have been awfully busy with all the oppression lately. A war with whom?" General_Amaraer: Guys, I have to make my redbull run shortly. Which usually takes about 19 minutes Lucas_Strongbow: Okay Lucas_Strongbow: Make it a cliffhanger General_Amaraer: OK General_Amaraer: 1 sec Brigsby: A cliffhanger will give me a week to get some lyrics Ace_Justice: it's only 10 Ace_Justice: we'd only been playing for two hours Lucas_Strongbow: No, I meant before the red bull run Ace_Justice: okay General_Amaraer: We're not done, I just have to run into town and drink a redbull so I last the whole time General_Amaraer: 1d20 Fortuna: General_Amaraer, 1d20: [14] = 14 Lucas_Strongbow: That's a worry General_Amaraer: "Yes, you see- What the devil is that noise?" Lucas_Strongbow: "I believe it's that halfling bard. Dreadful. You were saying?" General_Amaraer: "One moment. I must look into this..." General_Amaraer: OK, redbull run. Back soon Lucas_Strongbow: I use Force persuasion Brigsby: "No... no seriously people, we need volunteers for this one! You, Mul, and you, his big friend, would you like to join us?" Lucas_Strongbow: "You will tell me the plans...." Lucas_Strongbow: Brigsby, we're in a booth Ary: alright, gotta dip folks, got shit i gotta go about. Ary quit. Lucas_Strongbow: My date implodes Heronius_Barvo: Barvo wanders up onto stage Lucas_Strongbow: Are we really doing this now? Brigsby: I know, I'm just getting the others up there Brigsby: I can waste time pretending to show them how to do the song and everything Lucas_Strongbow: h yeah Lucas_Strongbow: That General is clearly a solo enemy Lucas_Strongbow: We're all gonna have to fight him at the same time Lucas_Strongbow: He's gonna have a ton of hitpoints Lucas_Strongbow: It will be bad Heronius_Barvo: well, that is what barvo is for. Ace_Justice: brb Ace_Justice: back Zawyn: We were in the middle of a gay magic fight Igfig: Only the briefest of interruptions Zawyn: It caused horrible draw backs in the gay magic Waffle joined #pwot_dnd. Ace_Justice quit. General_Amaraer: Sorry I'm late General_Amaraer: Black ice like woah General_Amaraer: Had to move slow Ace_Justice: It's okay Ace_Justice: I had to investigate some goings on during that time anyways Ace_Justice: hopefully my investigation can prevent disaster General_Amaraer: So, where were we? Ace_Justice: the general was about to investigate the sounds Brigsby: The sounds are now gone Lucas_Strongbow: "I don't mean to question your judgement sir, but I can't hear a thing" Brigsby: Ok, showtime, lucas? Ace_Justice: Am I going up too? Brigsby: yes Brigsby: you're all up here except for Lucas General_Amaraer: "Well clearly you are inferior. Probably not even an elf." General_Amaraer: "...." Ace_Justice: QUICK ROLL A BLUFF OR SOMETHING General_Amaraer 4laughs loudly General_Amaraer: "You should have seen your face, commander!" Ace_Justice: this fucking guy Lucas_Strongbow: Thank god I sisn't tryo to bluff Ace_Justice: ... Lucas_Strongbow: Mad typos Ace_Justice: maybe that mead got to him General_Amaraer: "You are far too gullible. It must be all the space travel." Lucas_Strongbow: I also laugh loudly General_Amaraer: You motice the plants you dumped the mead into are starting to wilt ever so slightly Ace_Justice: *cough* Lucas_Strongbow: "All that time with inferior races. I think it's catching" Ace_Justice: *sidles over to hide the plant* General_Amaraer: "Ah yes, the noise. Will you excuse me for a moment." Brigsby: "We just need one more volunteer! Perhaps an officer would like to try a hand? Oh! You, sir, with the magnificent mustache! Would you like to join us?"(You don't have to acknowledge us right away if you want to keep talking, just ignore me if you want) Lucas_Strongbow: Ah, I'm so close General_Amaraer: They're in another room brigs Brigsby: bah Lucas_Strongbow: I follow the General Brigsby: I didn't say that until he walks in the room then Lucas_Strongbow: I don't know what to do... Lucas_Strongbow: But I get the feeling he's not gonna tell me anything now General_Amaraer: "False alarm gentlemen." Lucas_Strongbow: In that case, back to chat! General_Amaraer: "And it seemed they finally did something about that halfling." Lucas_Strongbow: "At last" Lucas_Strongbow: "What were we talking abou?" General_Amaraer: "Now where was I?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Oh yes, you mentioned the fleet preparing for something" General_Amaraer: "Also, where is my band?" General_Amaraer: "Ah yes, the fleet." General_Amaraer: "Well, remember when those gratch filth sent for help?" Lucas_Strongbow: "Disgusting creatures" General_Amaraer: "We've been having trouble in the months since." Lucas_Strongbow: "These wouldn't be these rockers I've heard so much about?" General_Amaraer: "So we are preparing the fleet for some extermination." General_Amaraer: "Rockers? BAH!" General_Amaraer: "They are part of the problem, yes." Lucas_Strongbow: "So the Gratch then?" General_Amaraer: "But they are weak. Puny. Hardly a concern. From what I hear they got cheated into buying space swine. Not very smart." Heronius_Barvo: (GRUMBLE) Ace_Justice: *cough* General_Amaraer: The gratch and other pockets of resistance that, sadly, those talentless hacks have inspired." Lucas_Strongbow: "Destroying the Gratch...I love it!" General_Amaraer: "But you can't take over a galaxy without ruthlessly murdering a few thousand minorities, as my dad would say." Lucas_Strongbow: "He was a great man. When will the exterminatiob egin?" Lucas_Strongbow: begin, even General_Amaraer: "We'll worry about that later. Where the devil is the band I ordered as a surprise for myself?" Brigsby: "Just one more volunteer! Anyone! Anyone at all!" Brigsby begins to look disheveled General_Amaraer: "Commander. Send one of your slaves up there." Lucas_Strongbow: "I don't know sir, but I will see to it immediately" General_Amaraer: "Maybe he'll get sawed in half or something." Lucas_Strongbow: Okay, I have a bit of a plan Brigsby: shoot Lucas_Strongbow: i was thinking about trying to pickpocket him, but actually, a later interrogation would be better Lucas_Strongbow: In short, we need to capture him Lucas_Strongbow: because let's face it, we're gonna fight him Ace_Justice: So how do we do that? Lucas_Strongbow: No idea Ace_Justice: anyone have some magic rope? Ace_Justice: Get him drunk? Ace_Justice: I think the only way is a drinking contest Ace_Justice: get him wasted Ace_Justice: lure him to our shuttle Ace_Justice: take him to our ship Ace_Justice: tie him up Lucas_Strongbow: One of you could do that Brigsby: so... no rock? Ace_Justice: Maybe Ace_Justice: Brigsby we may need you for this General_Amaraer: "You there! On stage!" Brigsby looks wordlessly at the General, shocked General_Amaraer: "I found you a volunteer!" General_Amaraer: He points at ace General_Amaraer: "This classy looking slave." Ace_Justice: *looks surprised* Ace_Justice: *points at himself as if questioning* Brigsby: "Th- Thank you sir! You are most helpful!" General_Amaraer: "Now do something interesting before I start killing people for entertainment." Ace_Justice: *nervously walks up on stage* General_Amaraer: "You would be first, of course." Ace_Justice: *shakes out his beard* bouncer: Roll a saving throw for public speaking Ace_Justice: (I need a bass) Ace_Justice: me Ace_Justice: ? Brigsby: (Instruments are already on stage) Brigsby: or me? Ace_Justice: oh Ace_Justice: *picks up a bass* Ace_Justice: *puts on sunglasses* General_Amaraer: They're classical instruments, but you can improvise Brigsby: Is public speaking a Charisma check? bouncer: Ace grabs a bass fish from the aquarium bouncer: I'd assume so. But it'd also be a will save Ace_Justice: Perfect Lucas_Strongbow: Could I slip back into the private booth to look for...something...anything Brigsby: my will is 21 Ace_Justice: I will bash the fish on the floor to create different tones Lucas_Strongbow: Everyone's captivated by the classy slave Ace_Justice: So Ace_Justice: do we begin? Brigsby: We don't have a guitar player just yet, so Ace, wanna start us off with a sexy bass line? Ace_Justice: sure Ace_Justice: *bashes the fish off the floor in key points to make hollow thumping sounds in different tones* Ace_Justice: 1d20+10 preform Fortuna: Ace_Justice, preform: [9] = 19 Lucas_Strongbow: I'm going to slip back into the private booth to look for plans or details or communique's or anything Brigsby: we'll need a guitarist in a second, Lucas Lucas_Strongbow: But first I will steal a bottle of that mead for Ace_Justice, because I insulted him so much Ace_Justice: Thank you General_Amaraer: "What is that atrocious noise? Did I authorize this?" Ace_Justice: *laughs* Ace_Justice: *picks up a harp* Ace_Justice: Clearly ace was joking Lucas_Strongbow: I'm in the booth Ace_Justice: *clears his throat* Brigsby laughs nervously Brigsby: "He was just kidding, obviously!" Ace_Justice: *looks panicky* General_Amaraer: There is much veloure Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+13 perception to look for plans and shiz Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, perception to look for plans and shiz: [19] = 32 Ace_Justice: *plays the intro to immigrant song* Ace_Justice: 1d20+10 preform Fortuna: Ace_Justice, preform: [14] = 24 Brigsby: perform* Brigsby: per Ace_Justice: perform, whatever General_Amaraer: You examine the room very thoroughly, but see that it is little more than a private bar Lucas_Strongbow: With a hidden safe... Brigsby: I join in with the Immigrant vocal parts Brigsby: 1d20+12 perform Fortuna: Brigsby, perform: [5] = 17 General_Amaraer: Also, both of hte plants are dead now Ace_Justice: oh fuck oh fuck General_Amaraer: *the Brigsby: we need drums, Barvo Heronius_Barvo: can I make a strength check? Ace_Justice: to destroy the floor? General_Amaraer: The coffee table in the middle of the room does seem designed to move easily Heronius_Barvo: To smash the drums harder than god Brigsby: I think the drumming performance check was dex or str, so probably Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+8 Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, 1d20+8: [18] = 26 Heronius_Barvo: BOOM Heronius_Barvo: BOOM BOOM BOOM Lucas_Strongbow: I slide the coffee table over then Lucas_Strongbow: Anything odd? random_kid: A screaming kid flies in through the window General_Amaraer: The floor under in is not the same soft plush rug, but rather a thin layer over a hard surface Lucas_Strongbow: Somehow, I know this is Hero's fau;t Lucas_Strongbow: fault General_Amaraer: "What in the blazes?!" Ace_Justice: the child lands right under barvo's mallet Ace_Justice: and barvo smashes the child General_Amaraer: "SOMEONE KILL THE CHILD FOR INTERRUPTING MY BIRTHDAY!" Lucas_Strongbow: I tear the carpet off Lucas_Strongbow: In a clean way Heronius_Barvo: there is child paste Lucas_Strongbow: So I can replace it afterwards Heronius_Barvo: on the drum General_Amaraer: Underneath is a removable panel Lucas_Strongbow: Which I remove Lucas_Strongbow: I will rock out with you guys in a second, don't worry General_Amaraer: It was noiseless concealing a rumbling generator. General_Amaraer: Also a lockbox Lucas_Strongbow: How big is the lockbox? General_Amaraer: The generator occasionally spits out some black smoke General_Amaraer: Oh, about two times the size of a safety deposit box Lucas_Strongbow: I guess I should try to open the lockbox, because generators aren't my thing Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+12 Thievery Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, Thievery: [16] = 28 General_Amaraer: Your fingerprints don't match that of the general Lucas_Strongbow: Oh Lucas_Strongbow: It's that type of lockbox Ace_Justice: steal the lockbox Ace_Justice: when we kidnap him later we'll use his finger to open it Lucas_Strongbow: In that case, yeah, I take it General_Amaraer: Also, the generator is spewing more smoke Ace_Justice: hmm Ace_Justice: what does the generator do General_Amaraer: And making a fair amount of noise Ace_Justice: power* Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+13 perception on genereator Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, perception on genereator: [11] = 24 Lucas_Strongbow: Tell me your secrets generator General_Amaraer: You notice quicking the the generator is keeping the minibar ice frozen. So they might have chilled drinks even in a power outage Ace_Justice: hah Ace_Justice: what if we rewire it? Ace_Justice: to the light Ace_Justice: s General_Amaraer: Classy, right? Ace_Justice: blow them out Ace_Justice: then we can get the jump on the general Lucas_Strongbow: I don't know how to do that General_Amaraer: What do you mean? Lucas_Strongbow: I break the generator, because fuck him Ace_Justice: put too much power into the lighting system Ace_Justice: blow them out Ace_Justice: all goes dark Ace_Justice: we attack and hopefully subdue the general General_Amaraer: You could try that Valet: Just so you guys no, Hero rigged a fire bomb back stage Ace_Justice: know* Valet: That's kind of important I guess Ace_Justice: whoa what Ace_Justice: okay let's go do something about that General_Amaraer: Well. That is.. A thing. General_Amaraer: "NOW WHERE IS THE BLOODY BAND?!""Dammit I need a drink..." Lucas_Strongbow: I run out past the general Ace_Justice: 1d20+10 PERFORM Fortuna: Ace_Justice, PERFORM: [5] = 15 Ace_Justice: crap Lucas_Strongbow: Towards the stage Valet: It should be going off any time now General_Amaraer: Perception to hear the general approaching Lucas_Strongbow: I acrobatics flip onto the stage Ace_Justice: okay guys we need to get the general backstage Ace_Justice: let the bomb do the work Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+14 acrobatics Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, acrobatics: [7] = 21 Lucas_Strongbow: In midair, I grab a guitar Lucas_Strongbow: While spinning, I strum out a power chord General_Amaraer: THe general enters, but there is silence Ace_Justice: SO IT BEGINS Lucas_Strongbow: A totally bitchin, rockin power chord Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+12 Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, 1d20+12: [15] = 27 Ace_Justice: *whips out the guitars from his coat* Ace_Justice: 1d20+10 BASSSSS Fortuna: Ace_Justice, BASSSSS: [3] = 13 Lucas_Strongbow: BRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMM Ace_Justice: oh General_Amaraer: Suddenly, a velour sofa goes flying trough the wall towards teh stage Brigsby: 1d20+12 Fortuna: Brigsby, 1d20+12: [15] = 27 Lucas_Strongbow: And land on one knee, with the horns held high General_Amaraer: Everyone dodge Ace_Justice: errmm General_Amaraer: *the Ace_Justice: what is the roll General_Amaraer: Dex? Ace_Justice: ref? Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+8 Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, 1d20+8: [7] = 15 Heronius_Barvo: super drums! Ace_Justice: 1d20+9 ref to dodge the sofa Fortuna: Ace_Justice, ref to dodge the sofa: [17] = 26 Ace_Justice: sofa so good Brigsby: roll to dodge? Why not just vs our reflex? Heronius_Barvo: Barvo, to take that shit and ignore it. General_Amaraer: OK vs reflex General_Amaraer: 1d20+5 VS reflex Fortuna: General_Amaraer, VS reflex: [14] = 19 Ace_Justice: miss Lucas_Strongbow: Miss Brigsby: miss Ace_Justice: WAIT Ace_Justice: can I swing my bass to launch it back? General_Amaraer: The sofa goes sailing past you and backstage Ace_Justice: baseball bat style General_Amaraer: Sure Heronius_Barvo: hits barvo Ace_Justice: 1d20+7 strength Fortuna: Ace_Justice, strength: [5] = 12 Ace_Justice: fuck off fortuna Fortuna: Excuse me? Ace_Justice: you heard me General_Amaraer: It smashes your guitar Ace_Justice: WHAT General_Amaraer: And continues its flight Ace_Justice: "GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ace_Justice: ACE IS FILLED WITH RAGE Ace_Justice: PURE ANGER, BLINDING RAGE Ace_Justice: THIS MAN Ace_Justice: MUST Ace_Justice: DIE General_Amaraer 4steps through the hole made by the sofa Lucas_Strongbow: I throw you that bottle of mead I stole as a consolation General_Amaraer: Spoiler alert: He is pissed. Ace_Justice: I down it in one go Ace_Justice: Then roar General_Amaraer: "NOBODY LEAVES!" Ace_Justice: A great, beast-like roar General_Amaraer: Suddenly alarms go off as the building enters lockdown Ace_Justice: I CHARGE HIM Ace_Justice: AXE RAISED HIGH Brigsby: "This is the hour of the Phoenix!/ When all must be reborn in flame/ And though you do not know it/ Nothing can remain the same!" Brigsby: and the firebomb explodes Ace_Justice: I shift into battlewrath Ace_Justice: 1d20+16 vs ac Fortuna: Ace_Justice, vs ac: [14] = 30 Ace_Justice: I'll add powerstrike to that Ace_Justice: 1d12+12+1d12 Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1d12+12+1d12: [3, 3] = 18 Ace_Justice: balls Ace_Justice: still Ace_Justice: 18 damage Ace_Justice: and he is pushed one square General_Amaraer: What is powerstrike? Heronius_Barvo: The stage is now on fire. Ace_Justice: a fighter power Ace_Justice: just adds 1{w} to the damage roll Ace_Justice: [w]* Ace_Justice: the trigger is hitting an enemy General_Amaraer: The general steps to the side as you charge and kicks you in the back as you run past Ace_Justice: oy Ace_Justice: what a douche General_Amaraer: 1d20+22 Fortuna: General_Amaraer, 1d20+22: [17] = 39 Ace_Justice: OH CRAP General_Amaraer: I think he just broke your spine Brigsby: Maybe we shouldn't fight this guy General_Amaraer: Also, everything is on fire Brigsby: Everyone run out the back door? Ace_Justice: I like that idea General_Amaraer: "NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL I FIND THAT BOX!" Ace_Justice: RUN Ace_Justice: OUT THE WINDOW General_Amaraer: "COMMANDER! HELP ME ROUND UP THESE FOOLS!" Heronius_Barvo: Barvo, attempts to make a barvo shaped hole in the wall. Ace_Justice: 1d20+15 to sprint away Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to sprint away: [17] = 32 Ace_Justice: 1d20+7 to just dive out the window Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to just dive out the window: [3] = 10 Ace_Justice: GOD DAMMIT Brigsby: just wait you nincompoop Heronius_Barvo: Athletics on the wall General_Amaraer: You fail the jump and hit the wall Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+15 Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, 1d20+15: [13] = 28 Ace_Justice: *clunk* Heronius_Barvo: RAWR Lucas_Strongbow: Wouldn't there be a hole in the wall from the firebomb? Heronius_Barvo: It was just backstage Ace_Justice: oh yeah Ace_Justice: let's just use that General_Amaraer: Probably, but also lots of fire Ace_Justice: Pffttt Ace_Justice: I'm a mul honey bun Ace_Justice: fire aint no thang General_Amaraer: 1d20+19 Fortuna: General_Amaraer, 1d20+19: [14] = 33 Ace_Justice: on who General_Amaraer: He spots the 'commander' Brigsby: you, probably Ace_Justice: oh Ace_Justice: that was perception General_Amaraer: "Commander! Get over here!" Computer: The fire would've shot out over the stage Ace_Justice: hell yes Ace_Justice: someone try a rad guitar solo General_Amaraer: He advances on the commander Brigsby: Lucas already did that Ace_Justice: oh Heronius_Barvo: Barvo hit that wall rather hard you know. Ace_Justice: Is his back facing me Brigsby: or power chord or whatever Ace_Justice: ? Brigsby: Did Barvo bust through the back wall or not? General_Amaraer: I think he's more to the side after you tried to jump out the window Ace_Justice: oh Lucas_Strongbow: I run the fuck away Ace_Justice: well okay then Ace_Justice: I shift behind him Ace_Justice: and sprint at his back Lucas_Strongbow: Through the fire, I don't care Ace_Justice: tackling him Brigsby: We all go through Barvo's hole in the wall, who cares about the fire Ace_Justice: trying to buy lucas some time to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE Lucas_Strongbow: I seriously book it Ace_Justice: I am wrestling with the general Brigsby: all of us but Ace get the fuck out General_Amaraer: He yells, and suddenly ace is wrestling with air General_Amaraer: "I said get back here!" Ace_Justice: *YAAAAGGGHH* Ace_Justice: I land General_Amaraer: Lucas he is in front of you Ace_Justice: And pull out my axe once again Ace_Justice: wait Ace_Justice: lucas ran away Ace_Justice: they all did Lucas_Strongbow: what is with this guy Brigsby: he's a big angry racist elf guy, and he's a General for a reason Brigsby: which is why we're running away when we saw that a 30 missed his defenses General_Amaraer: But, he is distracted by the fire as lucas runs past him General_Amaraer: "MY MEAD!" Ace_Justice: hahah Ace_Justice: I drink it right in front of him Ace_Justice: 1d20+11 fort save Fortuna: Ace_Justice, fort save: [17] = 28 Lucas_Strongbow: That was brave General_Amaraer: He wants to chase after lucas, but he can almost hear his mead evaporating from the heat General_Amaraer: He charges into the fire after it Ace_Justice: hah Ace_Justice: I back out of the now vacated hole in the wall Ace_Justice: And flip him the bird Ace_Justice: wait Ace_Justice: the shuttle isn't here Ace_Justice: should we steal another one? Brigsby: Don't make him angrier Brigsby: Are there any other shuttles? Ace_Justice: Hopefully Lucas_Strongbow: A limo, a scooter, a tricycle Lucas_Strongbow: ANYTHING Ace_Justice: A unicycle?! Ace_Justice: actually that would be funny if we tried to escape on a unicycle General_Amaraer: 1d20+5 flaming suede chair VS Ace reflex Fortuna: General_Amaraer, flaming suede chair VS Ace reflex: [10] = 15 Ace_Justice: miss Ace_Justice: Ace spins around Ace_Justice: and dives out of the way of the flaming chair General_Amaraer: (he threw a chair out after you) Ace_Justice: He quickly looks around to see the general Ace_Justice: Hmm Ace_Justice: on one hand Ace_Justice: Ace's ideals want him to fight this dude Ace_Justice: on the other Ace_Justice: This dude is clearly too strong General_Amaraer: You can't see him. Ace_Justice: Yeah I know Lucas_Strongbow: He's like, our final boss General_Amaraer: The chair came from within the blaze Ace_Justice: I throw the chair back Ace_Justice: 1d20+7 str Fortuna: Ace_Justice, str: [6] = 13 General_Amaraer: He is in there saving his mead, as far as you know Ace_Justice: this god damn dicebot Ace_Justice: oh Ace_Justice: in that case I get out of there Ace_Justice: head for the amusement park then/ Ace_Justice: ? Heronius_Barvo: might as well start moving somewhere Heronius_Barvo: though the roller coaster is wrecked Ace_Justice: Onwards! Ace_Justice: Lucas will break us into a shuddle Ace_Justice: and we'll escape Brigsby: Run to where the valet dropped us off, in hope of a shuttle Lucas_Strongbow: They're launching a shuttle for us Ace_Justice: In that case Ace_Justice: we keep running to the amusement park DAVE_THE_ROBOT: I rolled a 17 for piloting the shuttle Ace_Justice: let's get on the ferris wheel Ace_Justice: if we are on that they'll need to wait for us to finish going around Ace_Justice: the general I mean defense_turrets: " Come in control. We are detecting a sudden surge of movement. Unexpected launches from multiple locations. Please advise. over." DAVE_THE_ROBOT: He said I succeeded, but the defense turrets are doing something, so I'll wait DAVE_THE_ROBOT: is that to me? DAVE_THE_ROBOT: because I'm not control DAVE_THE_ROBOT: anyway, I guess I land the ship where the party is? Ace_Justice: we are riding the ferris wheel DAVE_THE_ROBOT: no one else agreed to that Ace_Justice: Well then ace is on it alone Lucas_Strongbow: Couldn't the shittle land and take use to the contol tower where Hero and Thorn are? defense_turrets: "We are recieving notice that the commander has defected. Target and eliminate his craft?" Lucas_Strongbow: How are we hearing that? Ace_Justice: uh oh DAVE_THE_ROBOT: that's the plan DAVE_THE_ROBOT: probably open-comms DAVE_THE_ROBOT: "LUCAS, TAKE THE PILOT SEAT Lucas_Strongbow: EVASIVE FLYING Ace_Justice: WAIT I'M STILL ON THE FERRIS WHEEL Ace_Justice: DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT NME Ace_Justice: ME DAVE_THE_ROBOT: "THAT TOWER OVER THERE IS THE CONTROL TOWER WHERE HERO AND THORN ARE" Lucas_Strongbow: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF turrets: They stand down Ace_Justice: waot Ace_Justice: while the ship is flying past DAVE_THE_ROBOT: "LEAVE ACE BEHIND, WE MUST CUT OUR LOSSES" Ace_Justice: I make a jump for it Ace_Justice: 1d20+9 FREEEDDOOOOOMMM Fortuna: Ace_Justice, FREEEDDOOOOOMMM: [20] = 29 defense_turrets: (If you guys want to find a way to take off we can wrap this up) Ace_Justice: HOLY FUCK YES turrets: Ace Justice grows rockets DAVE_THE_ROBOT: that works Lucas_Strongbow: In that case, I fly over to the control tower, via the ferris wheel Ace_Justice: I climb out of the ferris wheel cart at the very top of the wheel Ace_Justice: I dive off as the shuttle flies past Ace_Justice: and grab onto a doorhandle defense_turrets: You swandive off the farris wheel and land pretty much whereever you want Igfig: Nice Lucas_Strongbow: DAVE hauls you in Ace_Justice: "That was fucking awesome DAVE_THE_ROBOT: I do that Ace_Justice: wait I have no tongue turrets: Ok, you're all in the shuttle now. Over by the security tower Ace_Justice: fuck turrets: Hero and Thorn are over there. Lucas_Strongbow: need any help? Ace_Justice: how about we retcon that whole no tongue thing, that's getting annoying Lucas_Strongbow: Hero and Thorn? Igfig: Or get a new one next session Heronius_Barvo: we are trying to see how much damage we can do with the security towers. Ace_Justice: sure Ace_Justice: next session I get a new... err... tongue Lucas_Strongbow: Do you want me to see if I can get them to fire on the other ships? Heronius_Barvo: yes security_measures: "Suspicious persons detected." turrets: The general has likely notified the other ships of the status of the security tower DAVE_THE_ROBOT: the shuttle is hovering outside the window of the tower, back doors open towards the window where Hero and Thorn are security_measures: "Deploying nerve gas." Thorn: "And barring that, we can always blow the tower up on our way out." Ace_Justice: we are not the droids you are looking for Lucas_Strongbow: "This is Commander Eltas, do you read me?" Heronius_Barvo: how would the general know? Ace_Justice: 1d20+5 bluff Fortuna: Ace_Justice, bluff: [1] = 6 Thorn: "Blowing it up it i sthen." Ace_Justice: fuck turrets: The general's ship that is Ace_Justice: as if to balance out my jump Lucas_Strongbow: Who do I want them to fire at? Ace_Justice: general's ship security_measures: Nerve gas starts to flood all control towers Ace_Justice: that guy will lay waste to us all Heronius_Barvo: I suggest we get away from said nerve gas. Acting_Captain: "This is Captain Sehoth of the HMS Zaonna." Thorn: "I think evacuating the tower might be smarter." Acting_Captain: "This planet has gone rogue and is now in control of non-elves." Lucas_Strongbow: "Target the [insert ship name here], there has been an insurrection" Acting_Captain: "All elves are ordered to evacuate and standby for planetary destruction." Ace_Justice: whoa what Ace_Justice: these elves are hardcore Lucas_Strongbow: I think we should go Ace_Justice: GROUND AS MANY SHIPS AS YOU CAN security_measures: "All non-elves, please stay and be destroyed" DAVE_THE_ROBOT: GET IN THE SHUTTLE NOW Ace_Justice: NO Acting_Captain: The screen goes blank and alarms fill the air Heronius_Barvo: Pile in! Ace_Justice: GROUND THE GENERAL'S SHIP Ace_Justice: IF HE CAN'T ESCAPE HE WILL BE KILLED Thorn: I'm in. Lucas_Strongbow: "All ships land, to pick up evacuees" Heronius_Barvo: I leave a big fire on the control console. Lucas_Strongbow: "All ships land" security_measures: fort save to resist the nerve gas, people who were in the tower Heronius_Barvo: Get the shuttle around. Heronius_Barvo: lets get some shooting in. Thorn: 1d20+7 Fortuna: Thorn, 1d20+7: [3] = 10 Thorn: Well crud, I'm out. computer: "Communications closed." Lucas_Strongbow: I don't know how to do a fort save security_measures: Who can help thorn? Ace_Justice: half your fort defense Igfig: your fort defense -10 Thorn: No. DAVE_THE_ROBOT: it's fort-10 Ace_Justice: oh Ace_Justice: oh dear Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+7 Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, 1d20+7: [16] = 23 Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+5 Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, 1d20+5: [15] = 20 Ace_Justice: Ace steps out and begins dragging thorn into the shuttle Ace_Justice: 1d20+10 Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1d20+10: [5] = 15 Heronius_Barvo: Heronius is inside. computer: Ace drags everyone inside Ace_Justice: hell yes Lucas_Strongbow: I get pn the ship, dragging whoever needs dragging Ace_Justice: 1d20 to slam the door Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to slam the door: [10] = 10 Ace_Justice: I shut the door perfectly normally Lucas_Strongbow: 1d20+15 Piloting AAAAHHHHHHH Fortuna: Lucas_Strongbow, Piloting AAAAHHHHHHH: [15] = 30 computer: You zoom up to the hanger of your ship security_measures: You blast off into the atmosphere Ace_Justice: MOTHA FUCKKKAASSS Heronius_Barvo: 1d20+16 engines Fortuna: Heronius_Barvo, engines: [14] = 30 Heronius_Barvo: we go very fast security_measures: Behind you on the ground, you hear a massive explosion Ace_Justice: to think we've come from dragging eels out of ponds to blasting off of exploding planets computer: As you speed away from the planet, you watch as the ships line up and fire at the planet security_measures: The gala hall is a crator Lucas_Strongbow: I get on the open comm channel computer: Oops. I'll wait fro slim Ace_Justice: so much for at the gala Lucas_Strongbow: "Great party! Same time next year?" Heronius: where is our ballteship? Brigsby: ...you convinced the Elven Armada to glass their own planet? security_measures: And a single rocket shooting away from it in the opposite direction Thorn: "Yes." Thorn: "That's exactly what happened." computer: Anyway Brigsby: opposite direction of what? security_measures: You Lucas_Strongbow: So we took out a decent amount of the elven military security_measures: you lose sight of this single rocket in the explosion Brigsby: "Navcomputer, Warp 10 to anywhere but here!" Lucas_Strongbow: Woah Navcomputer: "Warping!" Lucas_Strongbow: Warp 10 to the Gratch home planet! security_measures: Wow. Perfect timing guys Navcomputer: And thus, we shall end Igfig: Hurrah security_measures: Good job everyone Ace_Justice: Let us never forget Ace's rad jumping skills Lucas_Strongbow: Wpic Heronius: wee Navcomputer: That was fun. Igfig: I think it's time to level up again, actually Lucas_Strongbow: Epic, even Heronius: good times. Heronius: yay! Ace_Justice: huzzah! Heronius: I like levels. Navcomputer: And thus ends my short time as DM Ace_Justice: I'll geton that now Brigsby: that was awesome Ace_Justice: and go to bed Heronius: also, I am awesome. Navcomputer: I resign from the red colors Waffle: BAM Igfig: Good game, folks Waffle: DM WAFFLE Navcomputer: Igfig is back in the seat next week Waffle was kicked by Navcomputer (NOPE)