Holdr: Lucasa Strongbow, Lucas' Sassy Spanish Uncle Igfig: All right Holdr: Alright Holdr: Hold on Yin: Main campaign or other? Holdr: I'll do that Igfig: Main Lucas_Strongbow: Everyone makes my characters spanish Igfig: Last time, on Shetland Firestorm Lucas_Strongbow: i was mexican in the X-Com playthrough Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: Yeah that was funny Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: didn't you die? Frozenpie: so we are level 7 right? Alek_Deckard: Si. Igfig: OOC, you Igfig: You crashed a party help in honour Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: yeah Frozenpie: okay Holdr: Last time on shetland firestorm, Holdr found his voice and RP Style Igfig: of one General Aereledeiesthsomething Slim_Bankshot: red Igfig: whatever his name was Igfig: his party Lucas_Strongbow: Good party it was Slim_Bankshot: Yeah I forget his name Slim_Bankshot: I am a terrible DM Holdr: Meh. It's in our chats somwehre Igfig: Amarear, that was it Holdr: CLOSE ENOUGH Slim_Bankshot: He got really pissed Slim_Bankshot: And you stole a lockbox from him Igfig: You impersonated an elven officer, beat up the band that was playing, blew up some stuff Igfig: sabotaged some ships Igfig: rode a roller coasts Igfig: coaster Slim_Bankshot: And I think you broke his generator Holdr: Discovered a Sassy Navcomputer Alek_Deckard: And got the planet glassed. Slim_Bankshot: So his minibar stopped being cold Igfig: Well, the part of it where the gala was being held, at least Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: All in all, a very productive session Holdr: Ace was thrown in a snake pit and replaced with Chunky McButts IV Igfig: even a full elven fleet doesn't have the firepower to destroy a whole planet that fast Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: *farts Holdr: An exact replica, but fatter Alek_Deckard: Is that possible? Igfig: And you all escaped with a captured elven Man o' War Lucas_Strongbow: The Caerdirn or something Holdr: CaerDrim Holdr: I think Igfig: making rendezvous with the Bigger without anything untoward occuring Slim_Bankshot: Really? I missed that part Holdr: I can't even remember what that meant. Death Arrow I think? Igfig: Well, the man o' war they captured the session before that Igfig: DIdn't you? Igfig: I may be wrong Frozenpie: we did Frozenpie: cause we are badass Holdr: Yeah Holdr: They escaped Slim_Bankshot: I wasn't in the OOC chat much, so it is totally possible Holdr: As the fleet was doing whatever it was doing to the planet Igfig: So, you have reunited with the rest of your crew Igfig: and the convicts you broke out of jail Igfig: and your herd of space swine PwotMoose joined #pwot_dnd. Alek_Deckard: And Thorn is sleeping cause of nerve gas. swine: *oin* swine: *Oink* Igfig: and your tiny otyughs Igfig: What do you want to do now? Lucas_Strongbow: Oh yeah, the otyughs Frozenpie: ah yes, admiral fancypants Holdr: "To infinity and beyond!" Lucas_Strongbow: To the Gratch planet! Lucas_Strongbow: We need to warn them about the Elves Alek_Deckard: Indeed. Igfig: Do you know where their planet is? Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: No Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: but Holdr: "Can't we take a vacation? Preferably to a beach?" Alek_Deckard: Dont' we still have that one gratch? Lucas_Strongbow: I assumed it would be on a map somewhere in the ship Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: if this is an elven ship we can assume they have the location somewhere on their ship Lucas_Strongbow: If not we'll stop and ask for directions Igfig: Yeah, the doorkeeper. He doesn't know much about astrogation. Holdr: "Yes. What about that sassy navcomputer?" Igfig: Sure, you have a look at that Holdr: "Or would snarky be a better word?" Lucas_Strongbow: Oh god, one of us is going to have to develop a rapport with that computer Brigsby: Yeah, the navcomputer should know where planets and junk are, seeing how that's its job Lucas_Strongbow: Probably me, I'm the pilot Frozenpie snoozing Chunky_Mcbutts_IV: oops Igfig: Slim, were you RPing the navcomputer before? Slim_Bankshot: Was I? Holdr: I was Slim_Bankshot: I can't remember. Slim_Bankshot: I am NOW! navCPU: "Hello passengers. How may I assit you today?" Holdr: Personality profile of the navcomputer: Sassy, Snarky, enjoys throwing mute muls into the snake pit. Is aware of the 4th wall and breaks it often." Lucas_Strongbow: Computer, could you direct us to the Gratch homeplanet? Lucas_Strongbow: Or their seat of government or whatevs navCPU: "I absolutely could. I have those directions right here." navCPU: "Please provide you authorization." Lucas_Strongbow: ... Ace_Justice: Errr Ace_Justice: crap Heronius: you didn't see that coming? Heronius: ha Lucas_Strongbow: A bit, yeah Holdr: Impersonate taht guy again Alek_Deckard: yeah. navCPU: "Which, as issued officers of this ship, I'm sure you have." Lucas_Strongbow: hang on, let me get into character Lucas_Strongbow: Mental exercises Brigsby: Thorn ate the commander, surely he had a ID card or something Holdr: Step 1: Slap Ace Holdr: Step 2: Insult Ace Holdr: Step 3: Done Lucas_Strongbow: (What was his name?) Igfig: Er navCPU: "If you are not issued officers, please tell me so i can alert the fleet and flood the cabin with neurotxin." Holdr: TO THE LOGS Ace_Justice: DEADLY neurotoxin Igfig: Eltas Brigsby: "We are absolutely officers." Igfig: Captain Eltas Holdr: "Question. Is the Neurotoxin deadly?" navCPU: "Hello captain Eltas. How are you today?" navCPU: "It would take roughly 5 minutes ti kill you." navCPU: *to Captain_Eltas: Computer, I have very little time for your chicanery, direct me to the Gratch home planet this instant before I have you torn out and turn you into an elaborate paperwight! Holdr: "What if I shot a portal here and then at the moon?" Brigsby: Don't even start the Portal references, they're a slippery slope into bad jokes navCPU: "Thank you for your continued support and assistance in the oppression of minorities. Please provide your 7 digit authorization code now." Heronius: 1234567 Ace_Justice: 123-4567? Ace_Justice: 867-5309? Holdr: Do the last one! Captain_Eltas: Why the last one? Igfig: 6060 892 Igfig: and they're waiting for youuuu Captain_Eltas: 6-3-4-5-7-8-9 Fortuna: Captain_Eltas, 6-3-4-5-7-8-9: [] = -30 navCPU: "You have: [alternate voice] FOUR[/voice] tries remaining." Captain_Eltas: That's my number baby.... Captain_Eltas: please someone know that song Holdr: Hmmm Igfig: Yup Brigsby: Just do 1234567 Holdr: Would Holdr be able to over ride the system? Captain_Eltas: 1234567 Holdr: He is an expert on security Igfig: I am not entirely sure about that Ace_Justice: maybe we can try and president eden this bitch and convince it to destroy itself navCPU: "You have: [alternate voice] THREE[/voice] tries remaining." Heronius: anyone thinking... skill challenge! Holdr: *ahem* Brigsby: but then we wouldn't have a navcomputer Ace_Justice: indeed Holdr: "This statement is fal- Oh." Ace_Justice: oh right Ace_Justice: hmmm Holdr: "Good point." Captain_Eltas: We need some sort of logic loop Ace_Justice: we could always go for the classic like what holdr was going to say Igfig: Someone to jailbreak your iPhone Igfig: er, navCPU Ace_Justice: what? Holdr: "Navcomputer, where is your CPU?" Ace_Justice: Maybe I can try to indimidate it Igfig: If you like Captain_Eltas: is there not a forgotten password button where I can reset it Holdr: Pssh. Intimidates are not a cure all Captain_Eltas: With a security question Ace_Justice: 1d20+12 Just let us in before we turn you into scrap metal GRRRRR Fortuna: Ace_Justice, Just let us in before we turn you into scrap metal GRRRRR: [1] = 13 Ace_Justice: wait I have no tongue Captain_Eltas: or maybe a captcha navCPU: "My CPU is being accessed remotely. It is located on a classified level 7A class 12 clearence planet." Ace_Justice: and thus that 1 is explained Brigsby: maybe there's one of those little tiny buttons that you need a pen or a paperclip that resets the system Captain_Eltas: Take the batteries out and put them back in Holdr: "Let's just do a logic loop and be done with it." Igfig: Hopefully that won't erase its memory Ace_Justice: or the buttons on both sides you need to press at the same time Holdr: "This statement is false." Ace_Justice: "Computer, is this statement false?" navCPU: "No." Ace_Justice: "Then it is true?" Captain_Eltas: All our heads explode Ace_Justice: well crap navCPU: "Yes." Captain_Eltas: The computer wins Ace_Justice: "Then that would mean it IS false" navCPU: "No." Ace_Justice: "This guy has already been worked over..." Holdr: I slide down to the engineering deck navCPU: "You are stating the word 'false' This has been added to our records." Ace_Justice: uhh Ace_Justice: woops Holdr: "Listen up! How do we override the navcomputer?" Brigsby: let's just pick a star and go for it, we don't have to go back to the Gratch planet Captain_Eltas: is there a keypad or are we speaking the code? Igfig: Speaking, prolly navCPU: Speak Captain_Eltas: Damn Holdr: I climb back up Captain_Eltas: What say we jump randomly Captain_Eltas: Set a course for ADVENTURE Holdr: Ahem Brigsby: Second Holdr: "01011001011011110111010101110010001000000110110101101111011101000110100001100101011100100010000001101001011100110010000001100110011000010111010000101110" Ace_Justice: I like that idea" Ace_Justice: *explodes* Igfig: That was incredibly dirty what you just said, Holdr Holdr: Pause for effect Holdr: "2" navCPU: "Invalid code. Too many characters." Ace_Justice: fuck Ace_Justice: hmmm Ace_Justice: okay Ace_Justice: that guy hated minorities Ace_Justice: what is "no more non elves" in binary Captain_Eltas: I learned to be this guy, I should be able to figure out this code Holdr: I'm just going to call him fat Brigsby: fuck the navcomputer, second star to the left, set sail for space adventure Holdr: "0110011001100001011101000111010001111001" Captain_Eltas: If it's chosen that is, If it's issued I have no idea Captain_Eltas: Sherlock Holmes did it in Sherlock, i should be able to Ace_Justice: "is the code chosen, or issued" navCPU: "Course for adventure: Acknowledged." Ace_Justice: oh crap Brigsby: You're not Sherlock Holmes, you're an archer dude in an elf costume Holdr: "Wait. Hit the random article button on wikipedia first." Captain_Eltas: I am a thespian sir navCPU: The code is issued Captain_Eltas: We're double fucked Igfig: So you'e sailing off to a random star Captain_Eltas: Let's just go wherever Igfig: with your heavily damaged ship Ace_Justice: hell yeah navCPU: "Please select the danger level of your adventure." Igfig: stolen man o'war Ace_Justice: 20 Ace_Justice: 1d20 Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1d20: [15] = 15 Brigsby: mild Captain_Eltas: "Mild peril" Ace_Justice: 15 danger level Igfig: and lack of musical skills? Uovana joined #pwot_dnd. navCPU: "One being: 'not very.' and ten being: 'almost certain death by dismemberment.'" Captain_Eltas: Only two of us have musical skill Ace_Justice: TEN Igfig: Yep Holdr: "Adventure level: ROCK" Ace_Justice: wait, this is an elven ship Brigsby: Computer, from now on ignore Ace forever Ace_Justice: if we say 10 it might bring us to the gratch home world Holdr: "Navcomputer. You have a snake pit. Use it." Ace_Justice: because they are at war, certain death would be inevitable if a lone ship were to go there Ace_Justice: "Danger level 10 Igfig: Also, you should note Captain_Eltas: I assume the higher the danger level there's some sort of loot multiplier Brigsby: Or it'll dump us on Lava Fuck Dragon Planet Captain_Eltas: EUROPEAN EXTREME Ace_Justice: Then we can kill dragons and take their loot Brigsby: hahahaha Holdr: "Hey. I hear lava dragon planet is lovely this time of year." Brigsby: this guy Ace_Justice: which year navCPU: "Level 10 selected. Redirecting course to the nearest fast food restaurant." Igfig: that the navcomputer can still tell you plenty of stuff about non-classified planets Ace_Justice: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Holdr: "Good. I'm hungry." Ace_Justice: the restaurant at the end of the universe? Brigsby: "Wait, Cancel previous order!" Holdr: "TELL US ABOUT ALL THE NON CLASSIFIED PLANET." Heronius: Tell us about the nearest non-classified planet that is NOT under elven control. Captain_Eltas: i want a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster navCPU: "Order canceled. Please select an authrized sector to learn about." Ace_Justice: I want the water dragon drink Ace_Justice: I forget what it's called Holdr: "aLL THE SECORS" Ace_Justice: SPACE IS INFINITE FOOL Alek_Deckard: No it isn't. navCPU 4projects a holograghic star map with some areas blacked out Holdr: "Actually. Just the Here be dragons sector." Ace_Justice: "The unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy" Captain_Eltas: So we just have to search the blacked out areas Holdr: "The spiral home world." navCPU: Those are the classified areas Brigsby: "Ignore Holdr, we'd like to know the nearest non-elf controlled, Threat levels 1-3 sectors." Ace_Justice: darn Holdr: "Tell us about Mother Mustang" Ace_Justice: SPACE STALLIONS navCPU: "All information on Mother Mustang being uploaded to display." Ace_Justice: hah Brigsby: god dammit navCPU: "Mother Mustang. A small planet in the Bral sector. A breeding ground for solar steeds." Ace_Justice: SOLAR STEEDS?! Ace_Justice: Plot course for mother mustang! Captain_Eltas: No Captain_Eltas: N horses Ace_Justice: fine Ace_Justice: We really should find a non-elven world to go to Brigsby: "Computer, plot a course in the exact opposite direction of Mother Mustang." Holdr: "Computer. Information on the nearest non elven controlled world." Captain_Eltas: We should go back to our home planet and rule it like Gods Holdr: I agree with this Ace_Justice: then the elves would eventually attack Ace_Justice: and we'd need to beat them up Heronius: we would have a training monatage first navCPU: "Ploting course for nearest unoccupied planet." Brigsby: no one said anything about unoccupied navCPU: "Estimated arrival time: One hour after engaging hyperdrive. Please find your seats." Captain_Eltas: He means by elves Ace_Justice: Activate ludicrous speed Heronius: Sit Brigsby: that works, I guess Heronius: Strap myself in. Ace_Justice: Ace takes a seat in the fanciest chair Holdr: "Engage." Brigsby: I do the same Ace_Justice: in fact I'm still wearing my fancy suit Captain_Eltas: I sit in the Picard chair Igfig: One hour? Uh, that's a bit on the close side navCPU: THe ship rocks and hums. Uovana: buckling myself in good. ready for hyperdrive. Bring it! Igfig: a day or two, sure Brigsby: Maybe its cosmic ruler is off-kilter Holdr: "engage." Igfig: maybe navCPU: Suddenly shutters close over the windows to shield from solar rays navCPU: OK. 2 days whatever. Igfig: well, pholgiston Brigsby: or there are nuanced differences between Elven and the common that I'm assuming Lucas is translating for us Igfig: yeah, that could be it Captain_Eltas: My voice is shot navCPU: The chairs induce hypersleep to conserve energy Heronius: nice Ace_Justice: neato Captain_Eltas: and I can't do idioms Uovana: nap time! Brigsby: hypersleep for a two day trip? navCPU: Anyhoo... Ace_Justice: 1d20 to snore really loud Fortuna: Ace_Justice, to snore really loud: [2] = 2 Ace_Justice: dang navCPU: Dude, 2 days of air breathing and eating? Brigsby: true Igfig: And I guess the folks on the S.S. Bigger follow you into the phlogiston navCPU: That can be a lot in space navCPU: Anyhooo the ship wakes you up navCPU: "Welcome to The Rock of Bral." Brigsby: I thought the SS Bigger was in a hangar bay or something on the HMS Biggest Heronius unstrao, stretch Uovana: stretches, then bolts for the bathroom....two days of holding it in! Heronius: What is the status of the indigenous population? navCPU: "Largely populated by merchants." Heronius: :D Ace_Justice: okay my computer spasmed there, I thought it read "populated by mustaches" navCPU: "As well as other filthy, inferior, non-elven creatures." Igfig: You find yourself on the far reaches of a white dwarf system Holdr: "I'm a white dwarf!" Heronius: cold as all hell? Lucas_Strongbow: Ace gains superpowers in a Superman/yellow sun type fashion Igfig: gazing upon what you'd call an asteroid belt, except that it's all just a big ball Brigsby: asteroid sphere? Igfig: hundreds of small asteroids in hundreds of orbits around one large asteroid in the center Heronius: tangled belt. Igfig: the large one is covered in buildings Igfig: top and bottom Brigsby: Ah, Omega, got it Igfig: making full use of both sides of the gravity plane Lucas_Strongbow: Remember, don't fuck with Aria Igfig: you see a lake with two surfaces and no bottom near the middle, fed by waterfalls falling in opposite directions Igfig: in addition to the buildings and lake, there's quite a bit of vegetation Igfig: and large solar sails projecting in various directions on half-mile masts Ace_Justice: this place is a clusterfuck Brigsby: I'm having trouble visualizing the lake, but everything else is cool as fuck Igfig: I'll draw it Ace_Justice: so is that like a verticle lake? Or a regular lake and it has two sides Ace_Justice: this is very hard to imagine Igfig: The red line is the gravity plane Ace_Justice: ooohhh Ace_Justice: okay Ace_Justice: now I get it Ace_Justice: that is AWESOME Igfig: things above it fall down, things below fall up Holdr: jI see nothing Brigsby: So if you turned it on its side, it'd be like a disc of water sticking out into space? Igfig: Exactly Brigsby: got it navCPU: Phone rang. Did I miss anything important? Brigsby: Establishing shots Igfig: this asteroid is carefully shaped to retain a flat gravity plane instead of the single point most planets have Igfig: The underside of the Rock is studded with docking towers for spelljammers Holdr: "Boy. We sure won't end up horribly destroying this place." Heronius glance. Poen joined #pwot_dnd. Heronius: What an odd concept. Igfig: there appear to be quite a lot, mostly merchant vessels but also the odd warship Igfig: Hi Poen! Poen: Hi! Poen: "Oh God, it stinks in this sack." Brigsby: It's very... super mario galaxy meets Omega navCPU: Someone let Poen out of that potato sack, i guess Brigsby: maybe super mario galaxy isn't the right comparison Igfig: the topside of the Rock appears mostly residential and commercial--you can see a large market, directly opposite the thickest aggregation of docking towers Brigsby: I dunno, but I like it, it's memorable and visually interesting. So let's go! Igfig: The Rock of Bral is actually a thing fom original Spelljammer (although I've tweaked it slightly) , so if anybody's stealing it's Nintendo Ace_Justice: let's gokaiger Igfig: Righto Igfig: You find a vacant tower pretty easily Brigsby: Oh, you can see the market? This is more on a small space station scale then, I was thinking a lot larger for some reason Ace_Justice: yeah me too Igfig: It's bigger than Star City Igfig: like, a couple miles long Igfig: it's not a planet, but it is an inhabited world Ace_Justice: well let's go get info from these merchents Ace_Justice: they will probably be able to tell us where the gratch world is Heronius: sounds like a good spot to make some cash. Ace_Justice: being merchents and all Igfig: Yep Igfig: Where to? Igfig: Also, Hero, you were keeping track of the party funds, right? Igfig: How much money do you all have? Heronius: I believe so Alek_Deckard: Hey, we might be able to finally get DAVE that voice modulator here. Heronius: 14632 gp Heronius: so not much. Brigsby: oh, yeah Heronius: unless we got some while I was not around Igfig: You've got plenty to sell, though Holdr: Hey Ig. Do we have the Man o' War stats? Heronius: indeed Igfig: Uhm Igfig: We had a partial write-up for it as an NPC vessel Holdr: Yeah Holdr: Do you need that again? DAVE_ROBOBURG: You mean the SS Bigger? Igfig: The elven ship is a Man o' War DAVE_ROBOBURG: ah Igfig: the Bigger is the ship you've been using for a while now DAVE_ROBOBURG: right, what we got after the bus Igfig: And I ca't seem to find where I uploaded the man o' War's stats Igfig: This one was I believe a level 6 solo, in any case Holdr: Yeah Holdr: I'll link you on skype once I find it Ace_Justice: roboburger Igfig: It's probably not particularly safe to fly an elven navy ship around much, anyway Holdr: Pssh. Since when have we cared about safe Holdr: We crashed a high level officer party Igfig: either the elves will try to kill you, or everybody who hates the elves will try to kill you Heronius: we will sell it for a mint. Igfig: A fine plan, that Igfig: And what do you plan to buy? navCPU: And last I checked, pretty much everyone hates the elves DAVE_ROBOBURG: "COOL. LET US DOCK. PERHAPS THEY WILL HAVE VOICE MODULATORS FOR SALE." Holdr: Hire a painter Igfig: You can get stuff up to Tech 2 here easily, and Tech 3 moderately well Igfig: plus of course magic Igfig: http://gyazo.com/c1d5caa06d5c9e3a12f9446647526791 is the man o' war, it looks like Igfig: or rather, http://gyazo.com/8df9650190010f502c5cc80d77218201 Holdr: Yes that last one Igfig: the first one had the wrong numbers Holdr: Holy crap it's yellow over here on my desktop Igfig: the numbers will of course be rather different when you use it Igfig: since they represent the combined fire of multiple weapons Igfig: *if you use it Igfig: A painter? Igfig: Why a painter? Heronius: to paint a wicked decal I imagine. Holdr: Because. We want our own paint scheme Igfig: Ah Heronius: regardless we will buy murder equipment. DAVE_ROBOBURG: probably so he and Ace can paint a pony on the side or something, let's dock Igfig: Very well Ace_Justice: wait what Igfig: For a list of weapons, look at the "Spelljammer Combat" link at the bottom of the map page Ace_Justice: I was... you know what let's ignore what I was doing and skip right to me asking what is going on Igfig: er, "Vehicle Combat" Holdr: Screw ponies Holdr: We'd paint a TTGL thing on there Ace_Justice: bah Ace_Justice: space stallions Alek_Deckard: Why not flaming Shetlands? DAVE_ROBOBURG: please, let's just dock Alek_Deckard: yes. Ace_Justice: let's draw dave on the side Igfig: You have been docked for a while now Ace_Justice: sorrry, DACE Ace_Justice: DAVE Igfig: Go do something Ace_Justice: oh Holdr: Let's can can Ace_Justice: well we walk out of our ship the Ace_Justice: n Holdr: Wait, better idea Holdr: 1d20 flash mob Fortuna: Holdr, flash mob: [4] = 4 Holdr: :( Ace_Justice: here let the master try Ace_Justice: 1d20 flash mob Fortuna: Ace_Justice, flash mob: [13] = 13 Ace_Justice: well fuck it Igfig: Nobody spontaneously starts to dance DAVE_ROBOBURG: Are there any dock attendees or something? Poen: 1d20 flash mob Fortuna: Poen, flash mob: [4] = 4 Holdr: "Well. It was worth a try." Poen: ... I tried, guys Igfig: It's pretty informal here, but there are plenty of folks hanging around navCPU: I guess this place isn't very into flash mobs DAVE_ROBOBURG: I walk up to the nearest group of people DAVE_ROBOBURG: "GREETINGS ROCK-DWELLERS. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN PURCHASE A NEW VOICE MODULATOR?" Igfig: They appear to be large hippo-ish folk Igfig: Giff, as some of you might know Igfig: they are all carrying at least two massice flintlock pistols Igfig: massive Ace_Justice: space hippo pirates? Holdr: Holdr wants one Holdr: 1d20 envy Fortuna: Holdr, envy: [4] = 4 Igfig: Pirates? Not pirates, no Holdr: 1d20 a 4 Fortuna: Holdr, a 4: [13] = 13 DAVE_ROBOBURG: GIS, see a Hippotaur, understand Holdr: All we get is 4 and 13. 4 and 13. Geez Fortuna. So lazy Igfig: YES, ROCK-PERSON MY FRIEND! Ary: Do they have monocles or top hats, brittish accents...I have this wonderful image floating about my brain of them that way.... Igfig: LOTS OF DELIGHTFUL MECHANICAL DEVICES UP IN THE MAIN MARKET, WHAT? Ace_Justice: wot wot Igfig: The others harrumph in agreement DAVE_ROBOBURG: oh god they do DAVE_ROBOBURG: Hippos with posh british accents Ary: This makes me just delighted! DAVE_ROBOBURG: "WHICH DIRECTION IS THE MAIN MARKET?" Ace_Justice: it's like if redwall hares were hippos Ary: Soooo giddy! DAVE_ROBOBURG: for once you make a reference that is actually cool navCPU: Nerds... Igfig: "I AM SURE THEY WILL BE ABLE TO FIT THE BILL QUITE WELL. JUST JUMP DOWN THAT PIT OVER THERE." Ary: says a dm.......yeah..... Ace_Justice: 1d20+7 acrobatics to do a sick flip Fortuna: Ace_Justice, acrobatics to do a sick flip: [16] = 23 Igfig: "THE ONE ON THE LEFT. THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IS FULL OF WEEVILS." Ace_Justice: SHIT Ace_Justice: 1d2 1 is the left Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1 is the left: [1] = 1 Ace_Justice: PHEW DAVE_ROBOBURG: "WHAT IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT FULL OF?" navCPU: The other probably earwigs Lucas_Strongbow: Bigger weevils Igfig: You jump in and find yourself falling through blackness Ace_Justice: oh no Igfig: long way Ace_Justice: well crap Holdr: I stand at the top laughing DAVE_ROBOBURG: you're gonna get stuck on the gravity plane DAVE_ROBOBURG: just floating in a hole Ace_Justice: oh fuck I might Ace_Justice: well then I could float over to the side Holdr: Dont' be silly\ Igfig: for a moment you feel completely weightless, and then like you're...gaining altitude? Alek_Deckard: His momentum may send him right out the other side though. Ace_Justice: and climb up one side Holdr: Ace has his one gravity Holdr: own* DAVE_ROBOBURG: that's not how gravity works Igfig: After a few seconds, you see a circle of light in front of you DAVE_ROBOBURG: he's not Wilco Holdr: Oh right Igfig: which quickly grows Holdr: Having Wilco and Drey as a final boss would be interesting\ Ace_Justice: it would suck Ace_Justice: they are both horrible characters Igfig: and then you're flying through the hole where you are caught in some netting Ace_Justice: I yell back down the hole "THAT WAS AWESOME" DAVE_ROBOBURG: Rhinos with cockney accents, I'm guessing Igfig: you are now on the top side Ace_Justice: I step off and take a look around Igfig: Not cockney, but I'm not sure of the word Ace_Justice: dapper/ Ace_Justice: ? Lucas_Strongbow: Essex Ace_Justice: fancy DAVE_ROBOBURG: As I am unaccustomed to these peoples' ways, and have no reason to distrust them, I jump into the hole as well Lucas_Strongbow: Laaaaaaahhhhhndan accent Holdr: quack Igfig: old british explorer sort of accent Igfig: imagine them with large sideburns Lucas_Strongbow: Received Pronunciation Holdr: PROFESSOR GRISWALD Ace_Justice: nate mustaches Igfig: Yes, that Ace_Justice: yeeeessss Holdr: "HEROS!" Lucas_Strongbow: WELCOME TO THE ROCK OF BRAAAAAAALLLLL Heronius: That is Heronius XVI to you. Igfig: Topside is a bustling market, filled with people of every species imaginable Igfig: nearly, at least navCPU: No elves Ace_Justice: uhh Ace_Justice: 1d20 flash mob? Fortuna: Ace_Justice, flash mob?: [16] = 16 DAVE_ROBOBURG: can I land on top of Ace to prevent his flash mob? Alek_Deckard: Please do. Ace_Justice: I already walked away from there DAVE_ROBOBURG: how does a mute start a flash mob Ace_Justice: by dancing Alek_Deckard: Also I follow DAVE down/up the hole. Igfig: humans and goblinoids and dwarves and lizardfolk and illithids and dohwar and tall blue people and oh, so many Ace_Justice: so well that people join in Ace_Justice: do I sense a reference? Igfig: Alas Ace, you have no perform bonus Ace_Justice: I have a +5 Igfig: and reference to what? DAVE_ROBOBURG: please, no more references Ace_Justice: just from my level Ace_Justice: so 16+5 Ary: Down the rabbit hole, I follow the rest Ace_Justice: 21 DAVE_ROBOBURG: we've had enough references for one night Ary: ...the one without weevils that is... Igfig: yeah, you dance okay Ace_Justice: HELL YEAH Igfig: but nobody joins you Ace_Justice: aaawww' navCPU: You garner some odd looks Ace_Justice: now I'm just some weirdo dancing in the middle of a mb Ace_Justice: mob** Igfig: You can see stalls and shops selling everything from food to magic to clockwork wonders Holdr: 1d20 to panhandle Fortuna: Holdr, to panhandle: [19] = 19 Igfig: those last ones are run by gnomes Ace_Justice: Let's buy a clock and implant it into Dave Igfig: you don't look particularly poor Holdr: Of course I do. I'm a dwarf Igfig: There are taverns galore Ace_Justice: WOO Ary: To the taverns!! Lucas_Strongbow: At fucking last Igfig: and large buildings that may be shipwrights Ace_Justice: let's steal a ship Alek_Deckard: We have a ship, or two, two and a half. Holdr: Let's sell Ace Ace_Justice: combine them somehow DAVE_ROBOBURG: If they go off and party in the taverns, can they go to the other chat, so we can shop for ship stuff and magic items and voice modulators in this one? Igfig: Yes, definitely Ace_Justice: so Ace_Justice: who's up for tavern parties DAVE_ROBOBURG: Well, I'll start us off. I go off in search of the nearest technology vendor. Ary: That's where Ary is off to...gtg folks really early mornin tommorow...the joys of life...g'night Heronius: we should sell our three other ships for parts Ary quit. Igfig: Night Ary Ace_Justice: indeed Heronius: then use the profits for a new shiip DAVE_ROBOBURG: Wait, three other ships? Heronius: and some murdering quipment Heronius: bus Heronius: boat Heronius: bigger boat DAVE_ROBOBURG: isn't there another bus on the bigger boat? Lucas_Strongbow: Break them down for parts, they'll sell for more Heronius: we will need to find a chop shop, and give them a cut Igfig: There's a gnome something-or-other not twenty metres away, DAVE. Alek_Deckard: I shall stick with DAVE. DAVE_ROBOBURG: I walk directly towards him. Igfig: and you'd probably want to talk to a shipwright for breaking up the ships Heronius: right Heronius: off to that Holdr: "Guys. I have a sudden urge to learn the drums." Heronius: I'll take Uovana with me Lucas_Strongbow: Find us the most inept but rich shipwright there is Ace_Justice: I think ace should be our singer Lucas_Strongbow: Brigs is the singer Igfig: "Ah, hello there! I see you're looking at my wares! I think you're looking at my wares. Unless your eyes are fake!" says the gnome Ace_Justice: bah Holdr: "Anyone want to help me find some drum lessons?" Holdr: Where is hero to create fake eyes DAVE_ROBOBURG: "THESE OCULAR UNITS ARE WORKING AT FULL CAPACITY. DO YOU CARRY VOICE MODULATORS?" Igfig: "Yes, yes I do! This one is powered by hamsters!" Igfig: He gives it a wind DAVE_ROBOBURG: "DO YOU HAVE ANY THAT DO NOT REQUIRE HAMSTERS" Holdr: "You there. Shopkeeper. Where could I learn to play the drums?" Holdr: I nudge dave. "Ace is part hamster." Ace_Justice: quack Ace_Justice: wait wrong tab Igfig: and I can't find the original hampsterdance song to play here Ace_Justice: oh fuck you DAVE_ROBOBURG: you don't have to, it's in my head now Ace_Justice: I have the hamtaro song stuck in my head Ace_Justice: ham ham hamtaro, it's whatchu know Ace_Justice: ham ham ham ham hammattarrrooooo Igfig: "Yes, this one here is a real larynx! You have to keep it well fed, but it's fully customizable." DAVE_ROBOBURG: "DO YOU HAVE A MODULATOR WITH BASIC THREE-LEVEL FLUCTUATION? I JUST NEED SOMETHING TO NOT SOUND SO MONOTONE." Igfig: he blows into it, bending it around, the sounds sliding up and down the scales as he flexes it Alek_Deckard: "Oh dear." Igfig: "Well sure, if you want to get boring. Here's one. It's... I guess I could paint it a nice colour?" Ace_Justice: let's steal it Igfig: How are you telling him that, Ace DAVE_ROBOBURG: "I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR MORE BORING WARES." Ace_Justice: uhhh Ace_Justice: shouting it Ace_Justice: across the crowd DAVE_ROBOBURG: without a tongue Holdr: Si Ace_Justice: yes Igfig: "This is it." He puts two modulators on the table. "Male, female. Or high-pitched male, if you prefer." Alek_Deckard: I think that none of our perception checks are good enough to catch that Ace. Ace_Justice: it would sound l;ike "AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHHHAAAAAAGHAAAAAAAA" Igfig: "520 apiece, or 1000 for both." Holdr: "Do you have one that sounds like a fog horn?" Ace_Justice: or a duck DAVE_ROBOBURG: "MY ACQUAINTANCE HERE DOES NOT HAVE A BIOLOGICAL ARTICULATION DEVICE, AND AS SUCH HAS NO NEED OF HIS [repeats recording of shopkeeper]larynx[/voice]. WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO TAKE A TRADE? MALE MODULATOR FOR HIS [voice]Larynx[/voice]?" Ace_Justice: dave should sound lke daffy duck Igfig: "Yes!" He pulls out a foghorn. Ace_Justice: oh snap, I should get a tongue here Ace_Justice: why didn't I think of that Holdr: "Dave. We have found it." DAVE_ROBOBURG: not if I sell your larynx first Igfig: (the foghorn is in reply to Holdr) Ace_Justice: I don't know what that is DAVE_ROBOBURG: good Holdr: I grab ace Holdr: "Would you be able to insert it into this willing specifimen?" Ace_Justice: oh I see Ace_Justice: no I not like to lose that Holdr: SPECIFIMEN Ace_Justice: *shakes his head* Igfig: "If you can find a good xixchil surgeon, sure!" Igfig: "Except that the surgeon would insert it and I would watch." Ace_Justice: Ace opens his mouth and shows he has no tongue, then takes out his wallet and jiggles it, pointing at his empty mouth Ace_Justice: trying to show he would like to buy a tongue Holdr: "He's asking for a foghorn." Ace_Justice: *shakes head* Igfig: "I don't understand that language, Mr. No-Tongue. Point at the one you want." DAVE_ROBOBURG: "WELL, I WILL PURCHASE YOUR MALE MODULATOR FROM YOU. DOES IT HAVE A CERTAIN ACCENT SETTING, OR IS IT STRICTLY COMMON?" Ace_Justice: ermm Ace_Justice: is there a tongue in there Ace_Justice: ? Ace_Justice: or could I just buy a modulator Ace_Justice: or I could take dave's old one Igfig: "Sure." The gnome smacks the modulator against the table. "Now it's Spanish." Holdr: "What's spanish?" Igfig: "A dialect of Halfling." Holdr: "Do you have foghorn leghorn/" Igfig: "I don't sell tongues, but I bet you could use one of these modulators as one! Or one of these sponges could work too." Ace_Justice: I will buy a modulator then Ace_Justice: Iflexes, imitating the need for a deep manly one* Ace_Justice: ** DAVE_ROBOBURG: "I WILL PAY FOR THE MODULATORS, MY FRIEND WOULD LIKE THE FEMALE ONE AS WELL." Ace_Justice: wha Ace_Justice: uh uh Lucas_Strongbow: I'm standing in the back chatting up the locals while all this is going on Lucas_Strongbow: My new moustache is a big hit Lucas_Strongbow: With the ladis Lucas_Strongbow: ladies Lucas_Strongbow: space ladies Holdr: "Now then. Do you know where I could find some drum lessons?" Igfig: He has the hamster-powered one, the customizable one, and the female one left Ace_Justice: fuck Ace_Justice: uhh DAVE_ROBOBURG: which one was the customizable one? Ace_Justice: customizable one then navCPU: As you negotiate, a large creature shoves past some people roughly and walks into a nearby tavern Holdr: "I wonder if he could teach me drums." DAVE_ROBOBURG: I thought I bought the customizable one Holdr: You did DAVE_ROBOBURG: they were in two varieties, male and female Ace_Justice: oh fuck Igfig: "Nope! I'd ask around at the taverns. There are always out-of-work adventurers sitting around there looking for work. Mostly they unload ships. They'd probably be happy to teach you about drums." Holdr: "Ah perfect!" Holdr: "Hey guys, want to go to the pub and search from a drummer?" Ace_Justice: from? Igfig: The customizable one was the "real larynx" one Ace_Justice: uhhh Ace_Justice: what does that entail DAVE_ROBOBURG: ah, ok Igfig: and the one DAVE bought was the regular male one DAVE_ROBOBURG: gotcha Igfig: The "real larynx" appears to be a fleshy, bendy tube Igfig: you've never seen a larynx, but you don't think it looks like that Igfig: this thing is about the length of a tongue, if a bit smaller around Ace_Justice: oh well Ace_Justice: shady back alley deals for organs are fine Ace_Justice: I'll take it Alek_Deckard: I'm sure there will be no possible negative ramifications from this choice. Igfig: "Okay! That one is also 520 g. Good ol' Pel over there can probably hep you install it." Ace_Justice: Very well Igfig: "(It's short for Scalpel.)" Ace_Justice: Ace pulls out a bunch of gold Ace_Justice: and counts out 520 Holdr: D-Did he just break the 4th wall and OOC? Alek_Deckard: You mean Hero's gold. DAVE_ROBOBURG: He operated it by blowing air through it, so I wouldn't have been able to use it anyway. No lungs. Ace_Justice: he hands it over Heronius: did you two use your personal gold? Igfig: "Yay!" DAVE_ROBOBURG: I did not Ace_Justice: I did, but I still had 840 left Igfig: Pel turns out to be a human-sized praying mantis sort of guy covered in inlays of gold and jade Ace_Justice: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Holdr: "Far walker! Hey! How you doin/" Ace_Justice: oh well Igfig: He cocks his head. "Who?" Ace_Justice: let's get this shit done Ace_Justice: I'm a mul, I can take the pain DAVE_ROBOBURG: I take my old modulator, put it in my pack and install my new one Holdr: I hand a fog horn over to the guy Holdr: "Feel free to install this." Holdr: "On him." Igfig: Pel shakes his head and asks Ace to open his mouth. Ace_Justice: *coughs* Ace_Justice: ace opens his mouth Holdr: "Turn your head to the left and cough." DAVE_ROBOBURG: "Testing, running new hardware installation" Ace_Justice: his eyes shift around nervously Igfig: He takes the larynx in one fine manipulator, extends a tiny blade from another, and darts both into your mouth Igfig: A few moments later, he's done. Ace_Justice: *coughs again* Igfig: There was no pain - xixchil venom is anaesthetic Alek_Deckard looks a little green. Ace_Justice: Ace talks in a voice not unlike sean connery Ace_Justice: "Good evening friends" Igfig: "I anchored the tube to your esophagus. It will improve your diction." Holdr: "Woah woah woah. No english men allowed." Ace_Justice: "I'm so english I shit the queen Alek_Deckard: Plus wasn't it your lack of tongue that was causing speaking issues? Heronius: 1 connery is scottish Ace_Justice: let's just brush over that alek Heronius: 2 it is pronounced sho Ace_Justice: I'm sho scottish I shit halberds Alek_Deckard: Alright, I'll ignore that as long as you talk like Sean Connery properly. Holdr: Holdr wonders off into the tavern that large creature barged into Lucas_Strongbow: You shit Thistles you mean Ace_Justice: dammit, now I'll have to go watch all my sean connery movies Lucas_Strongbow: Sorry, thishtles Ace_Justice: while it's not a bad thing, I have other stuff to do Igfig: Okay Igfig: Where next? DAVE_ROBOBURG: bets on how long it takes him to drop the Connery accent, only bringing it up when he wants to make a reference Ace_Justice: not long DAVE_ROBOBURG: I go around and talk to every stranger I see, testing out the new modulator. Heronius: I want to sell some ships for parts DAVE_ROBOBURG: I will go with Heronius Heronius: and buy a new ship just big enough for our pcs and some crew Igfig: Some say hello, others keep walking, one tries to lick you Alek_Deckard: I follow Holdr to the tavern, nursing my stomach a bit after seeing the surgery on Ace. Heronius: the rest I will gladly sell into slavery. Igfig: Selling all your ships? Sure. Heronius: especially the elves. Igfig: Make a Streetwise check Heronius: 1d20+5 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+5: [8] = 13 Ace_Justice: Ace walks into the nearest tavern to speak with people in his new accent Uovana: I APPARENTLY HAVE PEEING IN THE BATHROOM THIS WHOLE TIME AND JUST CAUGHT UP WITH YOU Ace_Justice: aka Holdr: 1d20+2 Fortuna: Holdr, 1d20+2: [8] = 10 Ace_Justice: gotta go Ace_Justice: toodles navCPU: Back in a few Uovana: i will follow hero too Ace_Justice: 1d20+6 Fortuna: Ace_Justice, 1d20+6: [18] = 24 Heronius: I will now get hopelessly lost. Holdr: Wait Holdr: Where are we Holdr: Are we in the tavern or the ship yard Igfig: Well, I was going to take the people who were buying and selling DAVE_ROBOBURG: you're with Ace, I thought. Me, Uovana, and Hero are going to the ship yard or something Uovana: 1d20+5 Fortuna: Uovana, 1d20+5: [12] = 17 Igfig: and Slim was going to take those who were taverning Holdr: Bah Alek_Deckard: And then things got a bit muddled. Igfig: So I'll start with the shipyars DAVE_ROBOBURG: I need to figure out how Dave speaks now DAVE_ROBOBURG: I bought a modulator at some vendor on a rock in the far reaches of space, it's not just gonna be a normal common voice Igfig: Hero, after a bit of asking around you learn that a fellow by the name of Doropinis is the man to talk to about selling off the ships that need to go in pieces Heronius: perfect. Igfig: and with a bit more you find your way to his offices on the Bottom Side Heronius: now how do I find him. Heronius: yay Lucas_Strongbow quit. Igfig: It's a tall, narrow not-a-tower overlooking the lake Igfig: He is... strange. And on this rock, that's saying something. Igfig: He's very tall, about eight feet Heronius: Good. I deal with eccentrics constantl. Igfig: bright blue Igfig: fingers with way too many joints Igfig: a sort of curly hat Igfig: and he never, ever looks at you Holdr: He must be an asari? Igfig: He is what's known as an Arcane. Holdr: Oh. A Na'Vi Igfig: not even Heronius: I am a master of the arcane. DAVE_ROBOBURG: or maybe something that isn't a reference Heronius: I even speak primordial. Holdr: Hero is a slave driver Holdr: Good Igfig: http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MotP/Mercane.jpg Heronius: [insert racist joke] Heronius: anyway Heronius: Let's get down to business. Igfig: "Yes. Let us." Igfig: "You have a helm and shells for sale." Heronius: And hulls, and every other saleable part of a ship Igfig: "That is what I said. We do not repeat ourselves." Heronius: right, whatever. Heronius: Offer? Igfig: "Twenty-five thousand." Heronius: insight check for value? Igfig: SUre Heronius: 1d20+10 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+10: [3] = 13 Igfig: Hmm DAVE_ROBOBURG: assist? Igfig: Well, you bought your ship for I believe 5000, fixed it up for a few thousand more, and spent about 720-1000 on each of the six mounted weapons... that's a total of 12000 right there. DAVE_ROBOBURG: Well, I can't assist him with a mental thing, can I Heronius: Diplomacy with glib tongue to get more money out of him? Igfig: Sure. Haggle away. Heronius: 1d20+14 surely you can do better than that? Fortuna: Heronius, surely you can do better than that?: [15] = 29 Igfig: "I could. Should I?" Heronius: Yes. Heronius: More money from you is better for us. Igfig: "That does nothing to persuade me." Igfig: "Your welfare is not significant." Heronius: Possibly not to you. Heronius: but my wealth, and the increasing of such, is important to me. Igfig: He does not repeat himself. Heronius: I kill him. Heronius: err Heronius: take his offer Heronius: money for parts Igfig: Okay. Igfig: He counts out.... one sec, I forget the denominations Igfig: Is it 100 gp to a pp and 100 pp to an astral diamond? Alek_Deckard: I don't remember. Heronius: its in the dmg Alek_Deckard: Yup, 100 platinum to an Astral diamond. Igfig: He counts out 25,000 gp in the largest denominations available Igfig: so I guess two ad and 50 pp Heronius: cool Alek_Deckard: Yar, and 10,000 gold for an astral diamond, so yar. Igfig: from a pocket no bigger than a mouse Igfig: nods his head Igfig: and that is that Heronius: alright Heronius: 39000 gold now DAVE_ROBOBURG: cool, now we have to buy a new ship Igfig: What size of ship are you looking to buy? Igfig: same size as last, or bigger? Heronius: size of boat Heronius: but not bigger boat. Heronius: I want to sell the remaining crewmen into slavery. Heronius: you know a buyer? Igfig: the Bus was too small for everyone, air-wise Igfig: you need something of at least Medium DAVE_ROBOBURG: Big enough for us and the Eberron dudes, but small enough to be stealthy and such Heronius: yeah, boat Heronius: the rust junker we got. DAVE_ROBOBURG: unless the Eberron dudes get their own ship Heronius: we just need a better one than that Alek_Deckard: Who said we were going to pick up the Eberron folk though? Heronius: We just have to go to ebberron. Igfig: I thought the Bigger was your Medium ship, and the man o' war had some elfy name starting with a C Heronius: I was using, bus, boat, bigger boat. Igfig: And do you know where Eberron is? Igfig: ah Heronius: I have no idea what anyone else was using for nomenclature DAVE_ROBOBURG: We don't know where Eberron is, or even that it exists DAVE_ROBOBURG: so I was just hoping for the off-chance that we stumble upon it eventually. DAVE_ROBOBURG: this is the size we want DAVE_ROBOBURG: http://astro.uwaterloo.ca/~igfich/pwotdnd/ships/biggership.html Igfig: I sorta thought ome of you were form Eberron originally, and ended up out here osmehow DAVE_ROBOBURG: No, Adam and those guys are on Eberron Igfig: like, DAVE and Ace were both in the Sharn sidequest Alek_Deckard: Was Holdr? Briefly. Heronius: DAVE was everywhere at sometime Alek_Deckard: Ace and Holdr fought that troll/ogre I think. Alek_Deckard: DAVE may just be a model designation at how many of them have been all over the place. DAVE_ROBOBURG: when was DAVE in Eberron? I was always playing Adam Alek_Deckard: Or some dimensional anomoly. Igfig: Oh, maybe that was a different warforged DAVE_ROBOBURG: Yeah, DAVE is an acronym for something that I haven't thought of yet Alek_Deckard: There were the two Psiforged/shardminds. DAVE_ROBOBURG: he's mass produced Igfig: Anyhoo, Ace and Holdr showed up at the same time, so they might have come from Eberron originally Alek_Deckard: Mine and Lakuna. Igfig: via some other route Igfig: and joined up with those dohwar at some point Alek_Deckard: We did find them on a prison world. Alek_Deckard: Or was it the penguins. Alek_Deckard: Either way. DAVE_ROBOBURG: sure, we'll work that out later Igfig: SUre Igfig: Anyway, Hero Heronius: yo Igfig: sure, that's good Heronius: okay Heronius: how much for the slaves? Igfig: what sort of build are you looking at for the ship? Igfig: Slaves? Who are you selling them to? DAVE_ROBOBURG: the crew on the Battleship, I'm guessing Heronius: just wondering if I can find a slaver around there. Igfig: Probably DAVE_ROBOBURG: I thought Thorn ate them, but he might not have Heronius: for the elves, and the prisinors Igfig: Streetwise Heronius: and for our ship, we will need to discuss that. Heronius: but likely something well-rounded Heronius: 1d20+5 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+5: [5] = 10 Heronius: and I get lossed Igfig: You do get lost Heronius: and am propositioned by a prostitute Heronius: I refuse Igfig: You wander down into the depths of the rock and are propositioned by a... some kind of alien Igfig: yes DAVE_ROBOBURG: when we buy ships, could we perhaps buy a light starfighter or two? Get some dogfighting action going when we're in space Igfig: YOu can't be sure it's propositioning you, it's not speaking a language you know Igfig: that might be how it says hello Igfig: with the lascivious tentacle-stroking Heronius: I attempt to refuse whatever it says Igfig: By all means, DAVE. Heronius: There is nothing that makes that kind of noise that I want to deal with DAVE_ROBOBURG: Can I switch dialects on my modulator a few times to see if I recognize what it's saying? Igfig: You can try Igfig: unfortunately the dialects are all COmmon DAVE_ROBOBURG: just different accents, I guess Igfig: pretty much, yeah DAVE_ROBOBURG: that's a bummer. Oh well Igfig: You might be able to improve it with some tinkering though Igfig: say, the Linguist feat Igfig: or something equivalent to an enchantment DAVE_ROBOBURG: Yeah, I was just taking a shot in the dark Igfig: (I am looking for a map to see what you might encounter in the depths of the Rock) Dave_Roboburg: Oooooh, black market cave system slavery ring Igfig: The slavers don't need to operate underground... but unfortunately Hero missed even the Easy DC. Igfig: to find them Dave_Roboburg: I can make a check, I guess Igfig: hmm, 2d6 Igfig: 2d6 Fortuna: Igfig, 2d6: [2, 1] = 3 Heronius: nobody even tried to help me read the map Heronius: they just followed me as I got lost. Dave_Roboburg: 1d20+2 Streetwise? Fortuna: Dave_Roboburg, Streetwise?: [8] = 10 Dave_Roboburg: I got the same thing as him Heronius: too late now dave. Dave_Roboburg: Yeah Igfig: Hero walks away from the harlot and comes face to face with Dave Dave_Roboburg: We could ask for directions Igfig: who has found his way to the exact same spot from a different direction Heronius: from who? Dave_Roboburg: The harlot? Igfig: You're down in the areas where the buildings are no longer build, but hollowed out of the stone Heronius: She does not speak and language we do. Igfig: occasionally down side corridors you see great open caverns, magically lit Heronius: that is "she" Igfig: underground farms, maybe Dave_Roboburg: is there anything ahead of us? Igfig: there are occasionally people, all rather brutish-looking Igfig: down this corridor a ways, you find another cavern, unlit Igfig: opening out onto space Igfig: parked here and there are some large spelljammers of a design you haven't seem before Heronius: oh my. Heronius: I sense a chance for mischief Igfig: something like a large snail or nautilus, with a spiralling prow of interlaced tentacles out front Dave_Roboburg: Oooooh Heronius: Didn't we blow one of those up? Igfig: a few variants in shape and size, ranging from about 120' to somewhat over 250' Igfig: You blew up a squid ship, which was a little different Dave_Roboburg: Is there anyone else in the cavern? Or just us? Igfig: it was a sailing ship that looked sort of like a squid Igfig: These ones look more like Igfig: http://lost.spelljammer.org/SpiderMoon/preview/Nautiloid.jpg Igfig: And yes, you do notice a few other people in the darkness out there Igfig: humanoids, hard to see in this light Dave_Roboburg: Probably some kind of thing with low-light vision Heronius: I cast light Heronius: "who's there?" Igfig: Darkvision, actually. Igfig: These people have faces that look very much like mauve octopodes. Dave_Roboburg: even better Igfig: That is to say, they're illithids. Heronius: eww Igfig: A thought comes unbidden to your mind. "Why, hellooo there." Dave_Roboburg: Ah, I was thinking Quarren from Star Wars, but they seem to be basically the same, just different colors Igfig: or rather, /why, hellooo there./ Igfig: ack why can't I do italics Heronius: ... Igfig: Dungeoneering check? Heronius: 1d20+4 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+4: [1] = 5 Dave_Roboburg: 1d20+3 Fortuna: Dave_Roboburg, 1d20+3: [20] = 23 Dave_Roboburg: boom Igfig: ...You're sure they're perfectly harmless and pleasant, Hero. Igfig: Dave, you're sure they eat people's brains. Dave_Roboburg: How many are there? Igfig: Illithids, also known as mind flayers. Igfig: There are three ships... you see four illithids outside, though there might be more further away in the dark Igfig: only one is close to you, though. Dave_Roboburg: anything called a "Mind Flayer" isn't something I want to go up against with my will defense Heronius: So...fireballs for everyone then? Igfig: . /Are you the delivery boy? Robot?/ Igfig: . /I asked for a Shou./ Dave_Roboburg: I'll use my new-found ability of whispering to say, "Hero, we should probably get out of here." Heronius: agreed Heronius: I make some doves Heronius: then use the distraction to leave Igfig: . /Wait, don't go... We'd love for you to stay... for dinner!/ Heronius: Fireball! Igfig: ./ That was terrible. Could you be any more cliche?/ Igfig: (thinks another one) Igfig: Fireball? Sure, attack roll...? Igfig: you'd only catch the one, though Heronius: hmm Heronius: It's either attmpted murder or attmepted retreat Dave_Roboburg: let's not get arrested again Alek_Deckard: It's only you and Dave there. Dave_Roboburg: shoot it at the ground to cover our escape Heronius: There is no law enforcement here\ Dave_Roboburg: there's no /Elven/ law enforcement here, they might form a posse or something Igfig: Sure then. Stealth, I guess? Using your Int bonus instead of Dex. Heronius: 1d20+9 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+9: [1] = 10 Heronius: well! that didn't work. Heronius: Time for murders. Alek_Deckard: Hero's brain positively screams eat me. Heronius: Magic Missile! Heronius: actually Igfig: . /I would like to apologize for-- oh, that's very bright./ Heronius: I would love to see where they are standing. Igfig: The first one is about twenty feet away, out in the open Dave_Roboburg: maybe just because they're ravenous brain eaters, that doesn't mean they want to eat OUR brains? My brains are rocks anyway Heronius: my int is 20 Dave_Roboburg: They could be the ship salesmen Heronius: my brain is a succulent delicacy Igfig: the second one that was thinking at you is (you think, it's hard to tell them apart) sitting over against one of the ship's landing legs. Igfig: Yes, Dave is pretty safe here, but Hero is right to worry Heronius: indeed Dave_Roboburg: Then I'll be the one to talk to them. Can they read my thoughts, or do I have to speak? Igfig: . /Please, can't I eat just the one? It looks very / Igfig: You aren't sure. Heronius: yeah It is burny burny time Dave_Roboburg: I'll start by thinking, I guess. "Are you guys the ship salesmen? We're looking to buy a ship." Heronius: Scorching burst on the closest one. Heronius: 1d20+9 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d20+9: [14] = 23 Igfig: aaaaaa nothing is typing Igfig: oh wait Igfig: . /Salesmen? No, I am a student... ack, watch out!/ Igfig: there Igfig: you hit the close one Heronius: good Heronius: 1d8+7 Fortuna: Heronius, 1d8+7: [7] = 14 Dave_Roboburg: "Ah, ok. Thanks, we just got the wrong cavern then." Dave_Roboburg: I pick up Hero and carry him out of the cavern Igfig: . /Ow ow what the that's not/ Igfig: and then you're out Dave_Roboburg: thinking: "Sorry! He gets kinda testy about his brains!" Heronius: "I will burn thee squid monsterrrrrsssss!" Heronius wave arms dramatically Igfig: you hear a drift of thought, /Man, what was that all about?/ Igfig: and then you're gone Heronius: fun fact: heronius is kinda racist. Heronius: unless profit is involved Igfig: Eh, you're probably right as far as illithids go Dave_Roboburg: especially against things that want to eat his brains Igfig: they're horrible monsters, overall Alek_Deckard: Yar, slavery and brain eating is pretty much all they're known for. Igfig: Anyway, you're back in the main tunnel, with still no idea where to find a slaver Heronius: ask for directions? Dave_Roboburg: Yeah, let's just go back and ask the vicious mind-eaters Dave_Roboburg: ah, good, the new modulator comes with a sarcasm chip Igfig: There are also some tough-looking fellows with no eyes down here Dave_Roboburg: tough-looking how? Igfig: burly, grey-skinned, scarred Igfig: sort of like if an orc had rocks under his skin Igfig: and no eyes Heronius: do they have elaborate noses? Dave_Roboburg: large ears? Igfig: Not particularly? Dave_Roboburg: "Excuse me? Do you know where the shipyard is? We're kinda lost." Igfig: Their ears are on the largish side, I guess. Heronius: so they are simply handicapped? Igfig: He grunts, points back up the tunnel. Igfig: Well, they have no eyes at all. Like just skin where their eyes would be Dave_Roboburg: "That way, thanks." I start walking that way. Igfig: (they were grimlocks) Heronius: I go with dave Igfig: And eventually you find your way back to the surface, yay Heronius: off to find some slavers Igfig: And I think, it being late, things are being wrapped up for the day Heronius: but I am going to have to turn in. Heronius: good night everyone. Igfig: the folks up at the tavern were able to run across a plot, at least Igfig: Night Dave_Roboburg: night everbodies Igfig: And imma be gone too Igfig: bye Igfig quit. Heronius left #pwot_dnd.